Whiskey or Milk
by RoyMustangsBabe
Summary: When Rinoa starts life on her own, things take a sharp turn towards relationship abuse, alcoholism, depression, and the death of a loved one. Will Rinoa ever regain the life she once had? Long and dramatic. Reifer/Squinoa.
1. Whiskey

Staring at his dead body, she was unsure if he deserved it or not, in the eyes of God. But she was sure that she would never stop loving him.

Chapter One

"Pink, Rin? You have to be kidding me."

"No, no Seifer! Look at this shade. Oh, this would be so cute with the rose sheets!"

Rinoa was flipping through a catalog in a plain, white room. White walls, white floors, white sheets, white decor. This was the first house she had ever owned. Well, sort of. Straight out of Balamb Garden, Seifer had asked Rinoa to move in with him...and all of his friends. Yes, there was quiet, shy Squall in the first bedroom. Selphie and Quistis shared the second. Zell and Irvine shared the third. And Seifer and Rinoa were sure to enjoy, the only co-ed room in the house. The reason for the separation of genders was primarily Irvine's lecherous ways and Zell's snoring. No female chose to sleep around that. And the men certainly didn't enjoy Quistis's nitpicking. And Squall...well he was just the lone wolf who had a tendency to separate himself from the group.

"I am a man, Rinoa. And we discussed the pink sheets. As a man, I will not sleep on pink sheets." Seifer casually plucked the catalog from Rinoa's hands, and dropped it on the ground.

"Yes, Seifer, we have discussed this. As a man, you have no say in the interior decorating of _our _room."She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and hopped off the bed before he grabbed her hand and kissed it.

"You know, Rinoa, it would seem like a big waste to buy new sheets when we haven't christened the old yet." An eyebrow raise accompanied the sly remark.

"Seifer, we are in a house with five other people..."

"Who are all gone right now. Honestly, how many opportunities like this are going to arise? We've waited. And we have been dating for two years now, and we just moved in together. I think I proved that I love you with all my heart."

Rinoa sighed. He was right. They had waited, and waited, and waited. By now, she might just have wanted it as bad as he did. She was just so used to saying no. Maybe it was time she said yes. And that night, she did.

That was the situation that left Rinoa sinking into a hot bath. Her body ached, but felt relieved. A thin film of sweat was cleansed off her body and she smiled just to herself. There was much more of that to come now that they were living together...as long as the five other people keep going on outings. Rinoa listened as she heard Seifer rummaging around the room next to them, finding something to wear. It was agreed that they would go out to dinner tonight with the rest of the group, to toast the life of 7 cramped individuals sharing four bedrooms, three different kinds of tampons, two bathrooms, and one remote. She was newly eighteen, and ready to start the fun, uncensored, and uncontrolled portion of her life that they write movies about.

There was a knock on the door.

"Rinny, I need to get in there, NOW!" It was Selphie. The roommates were officially home, and Rinoa was betting every single one of them had to go like a racehorse and her relaxation would have to be put on hiatus for a long, long time. Hair in towel, bath robe on, she let Selphia in and returned to her room. Seifer was laying on the bed in a dress shirt and slacks.

"Why, you look dashing, Mr. Almasy." She said with a wink, pushing a strand of wet hair out of her face.

"And you look...like you are not yet dressed for the occassion, my dear Rinoa." He grinned while she rolled her eyes and took the towel out of her hair.

"So, Seifer, have you put any more thought into those pink sheets?"

"Baby, after today, you can have anything you want and more." He got up from the bed and kissed her lightly before leaving the room.

_I'll hold you up to that._ Rinoa thought to herself. She smiled, and picked a cream colored dress that would look lovely for this occassion tonight. Looking around the room, before she left to do her hair, she noticed it looked a little less white, and a little less bland.

________

"So are we all going to toast to something about life, or just dig in?" Zell asked. He did not look quite as classy as the rest of the roommates, his bow tie barely covered the stains on his white t-shirt.

"You pig. Of course we should toast." Quistis said, pushing up her glasses. Her red cocktail dress showed off her slender curves and she seemed to be begging for Squall's attention.

"Relax Quisty. And start us off, if you will." Irvine was wearing a purple silk shirt that seemed less cowboy and more porn star.

"Well, cheers to not having a bedroom with Zell...." She now glanced at Squall. "And to new acquaintances."

"And to all the lovely ladies I share a bathroom with. You know, in an effort to go green, we could all shower together..." Irvine was eyeing Selphie and Quistis.

"Here's to not sharing a room with Irvine, teehee. And to finally being on our own!" Selphie lifted her glass of champagne in the air.

"Here's to having you women around to clean up after me." Zell shouted, receiving high fives from all the men but Squall.

"C'mon, take this seriously guys! We have our own place now. Not a dorm, but a real home." Quistis groaned. "Now c'mon, it's your turn Squall."

"....Cheers to having a lock on my door and my own room, because this is the strangest mix of people to ever have to share a house." Squall lifted his glass in the air as well. Rinoa laughed at the little bit of character Squall just might have.

"Cheer to getting to share a room with the most lovely girl I've ever seen." Seifer was giving Rinoa the eye, just the one that gave her a couple butterflies. He did not lift champagne, but a glass of whiskey. "And you, Princess?"

Rinoa smiled.

"Cheers to whatever is going to come."

And they all touched glasses, the women sipped. Zell guzzled his champagne, seeing it as a girl drink rather than a liquid of sophistication. He ordered a round of shots for the men. Squall did not participate.

"Never touch the stuff." He muttered.

But all the roommates excluding Squall (which automatically handed him the position of designated driver) went glass after glass, bottle after bottle. Quistis found herself fond of the wine, Selphie enjoyed the martini Irvine had introduced her to. Zell was quite into any mixture you sent his way, and Seifer was only into the whiskey. Rinoa was pretty content with a daiquiri.

After sharing dark secrets, hilarious stories, and big dreams for the future, they one by one stumbled out of the door of the restaurant, Squall holding a very intoxicated Quistis, and dragging a very incoherent Irvine. When they came home, each person went into their own room, exluding Zell who could not make it past the couch. Rinoa was red in the face while Seifer was entirely giggly. They collapsed in their bed.

"I can't wait for the rest of this Seifer."

"The rest of what, Rinoa?"

"The rest of my life. The rest of our lives. I can't wait to see what happens next. I'm so happy. I don't even want to sleep."

"Then how about we don't sleep?" He had the same seductive look on his face as he did earlier.

"Twice in a day, Seifer?!"

"You better get used to it, darling." They both smiled. He kissed her hard and she could taste the whiskey. And they made love for the second time that night, and Rinoa couldn't have been happier.


	2. Daiquiri

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Final Fantasy VIII. Well, technically I have the game. But no, I don't really, really own it. That's Squaresoft's biz.

_Author's Note: The setting of this is strange, and off the story line. Squall and Rinoa are merely acquaintances, and she had never broken up with Seifer. You can see the implication of their relationship in the game, and it was something I had always wanted to go into. All of the house members are members of SeeD and became friends while attending Balamb Garden. _

_P.S. What other couples do you suggest for the characters?_

"Go for it....go for it....TOUCH DOWN! BOOYA!" Zell pumped his fist in the air. Rinoa enjoyed observing the males in their natural habitat. The TV. was roaring, the chips were crushed into the carpet, and each male was drinking a beer. This is all excluding Squall, who was reading the newspaper and drinking coffee. Quistis was on her hands and knees to catch ever piece of popcorn or food fragment that went near the floor with a dust buster.

"Rin, you want a beer?" Seifer asked, bending over to the mini-fridge.

"No, I'd rather not intrude on this...male bonding. Besides, the girls and I are going out to the store...to pick out those pink sheets." She winked at him and he smacked his head with his hand.

"Something I really wish I had never agreed to."

"Well, Seifer, you really told your woman what's what on that one..." Irvine sipped his beer. Rinoa grabbed her purse and waited for Quistis and Selphie to tag along. Selphie immediately put on her coat, but Quistis looked up anxiously.

"You know guys...I think it's best if I just stay home on this one." This was understandable with the mess that the men were making. Rinoa sighed, but got in the car nonetheless.

"So how are you enjoying this so far, Rinoa?" Selphie asked, applying lip gloss in the mirror.

"Well, there's not much scenery and purchasing sheets doesn't excite me THAT much."

"No, not the outing, silly. Living with Seifer. The big move, ya know…" She nudged Rinoa.

"The big move…it's well….it's amazing, Selphie. I've never been so happy in my life." Rinoa honestly meant it. Not having to drive to see each other, sleeping next to each other, his toothbrush next to hers. All the benefits a mature relationship had to bear.

"He's so over the moon for you, Rinny. I hope I have that someday!"

"I love him, I really do. He's just…he's just…"

"Lord, I hope you don't say 'the one.' Because that's just crazy."

"No…well…maybe. I mean, he stuck around for two years Selphie. And from the moment I saw him, I knew there was something there…don't call it love at first sight or anything. It's just a feeling that had before been unfathomable to me. I really could wake up to him every day."

"Two years is a long time. You think you'll get married or something?" Selphie felt Rinoa tap on the brakes a little bit, shifting her forward.

"I don't like the 'm' word. I'd feel foolish to think that far ahead…Marriage is just…well you see how people turn out. They turn crazy." Rinoa shivered. She wouldn't tell Selphie, however, that she would love to wear white one day. Deep down, she was a dreamer, a hopeless romantic.

"Not everyone Rinny…you think if one of us got married, we'd go crazy? No, we're good people, we wouldn't let that happen. You just may be the first out of us."

"Not if Quistis has her way with Squall." The girls laughed. Quistis had been trying her best to get to know Squall, who stayed as shut as a prison cell door. Rinoa added, "Or if you have your way with Zell!"

"Oh, I do not have a crush on Zell!"

"He's you're type if you ask me, Selph. You're both full of…pep. What about Irvine?"

"I think he has it in for Quistis. Or both of us. I don't know, I couldn't really see going steady with a guy like him!" Ah, cowboy Irvine. Selphie might be right on that one. Don't ever trust a man wearing a cowboy hat, because it's a guarantee that he won't stay in one place. Then again, people aren't always how they seem. Once in a while, someone will surprise even the people closest to them. "So did you and Seifer…uhhh…ya know…at night…yet?"

"That was eloquently put. And I think that's my business, not for you to know. I'm sorry to say it Selphs, but you're a loudmouth." Rinoa glanced over at her friend whose eyes had grown large with excitement.

"C'mon, fill me in…did you?"

"If you must know…yes we did. But I don't want to go any farther into it then that." Rinoa gave her friend the glare, who was squealing and clapping.

"Oh, how was it? When? Where? Tell me the juicy details, Rinny, I must know!" She shook Rinoa who had to concentrate on the road after the swerve that had been caused.

"None of your business Selphie! I said, I'm not getting into it!"

"Well, did you use protection?! Can you tell me that?"

"Selphie, everyone knows Seifer can't even have kids. The whole sterility thing takes care of the contraception issue sometimes."

"But diseases Rinoa! He might have been your first, but you weren't his…"

"He was tested before we started dating. He is clean, quit worrying about it. It's not like he's some promiscuous dope." Rinoa had not one suspicion of a repercussion from becoming sexually active, and was safe. Clinically safe. She was not an idiot, she had full understanding of the possible consequences, and the current chances of them.

"What if cheated on you?" There was silence after Selphie asked this. Rinoa tried as hard as she could to concentrate on the road, because this was her least favorite 'what if' in the world. What would happen, would she would be torn to shreds and never find herself able to recover, especially after she had given herself to him.

"We are not getting into the topic. Not now, not ever."

"We're home!" Selphie shouted, despite every roommate being in hearing distance. Each girl was holding at least three huge bags. Selphie ran to her room, Quistis following. The house was entirely spotless and Rinoa was glad that Quistis had stayed home, because cleaning this up would not please her. Exhausted, Rinoa sat on the couch next to Seifer and leaned over and kissed him. His mood was…off.

It wasn't the usual affectionate Seifer, he had not made eye contact with her yet. He seemed to be entirely focused on the television, despite a commercial being on. She shook him a little bit.

"Seif, you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah…m'fine." He glanced over for a moment. He was fidgeting. Sweating almost. No, this did not make Rinoa feel secure at all. Maybe he was just feeling down. She leaned over into his ear and whispered.

"You want to go fit on our new sheets?" She made the words breathy and giggled afterwards. This time he listened to her.

"Yeah, let's go up." There was still a lack of enthusiasm in his voice, but he grabbed the heavy bags and they went up to their room. When arriving, he dropped the bags and took a deep breath.

"Seifer, what's wrong? Don't lie to me, I know you better than this." He still would not look her in the eye.

"Rinoa, I really don't want to tell you this…but SeeD called me in. I'm going to be gone for two weeks." Rinoa's face fell a little bit.

"But…you're only signed up for short assignments. You said after your last one…when you almost died, that there would be no more. That was the last one, that you would never put me through that again." Her voice grew teary. On the last mission, a very difficult, dangerous one, Seifer was hospitalized in a foreign country. Rinoa had only heard there was an accident, no more than that. She questioned whether he was alive or dead for weeks.

"This one is an emergency, Rin. In fact, some of the other roommates got letters too."

"Which ones?"

"Quistis and Zell. We'll all be gone for two weeks." He sighed and rested his head on the wall. "I'm sorry Rinoa. It isn't supposed to be like this. But after two weeks, I'll come back and I'll have a lot of gil to spend. I promise, it won't be all that bad. I'll be safe."

"This is…I don't know. I don't want you to go…when do you leave?"

"In two days."

"I'm going to miss you so much Seifer. We haven't been apart for more than three days since that incident…I don't know how to function without you anymore…I'm pathetic." Rinoa brushed away unnecessary tears.

"I'll just cling to you so much these next two days that you'll want me gone for two weeks." Seifer forced a laugh and knelt in front of Rinoa. "Don't cry. You know I don't like that…I hate when you cry."

"You mean a lot to me, you know…" Rinoa held his head in her hands.

"'Let me just take you out tonight…let's go get a couple drinks and just forget about this mess, if just for tonight. Does that sound good?"

"It sounds just fine to me…" He kissed Rinoa's cheek and he lifted her off the bed. He was her knight. He could make anything better, to her. And at this point, she could use a couple drinks. He held her hand and they called a cab, knowing that neither of them would be well off enough to drive at the end of the evening. This was an excellent call.

Upon arriving at the bar, Rinoa ordered a daiquiri, and Seifer ordered a glass of whiskey. And then another…and then another…

A round of shots came, and each participated. Coffee and liquor. Tequila. Vodka. A little bit of everything went into their systems this night. Rinoa was looking at two Seifer's, and Seifer was tottering on the bar stool. Outside of the bar, Seifer was holding her hand and she was giggling into her shoulder. They were waiting for a cab. He kissed her forehead, then her lips, then her neck. He came back up to her lips and kissed her much harder. His hands moved from her cheek bones, lower and lower until he was pressing himself against her.

"Seifer, wait until we're at home, at least."

"Rinoa, you're so god damn beautiful. I can't keep my hands off you." She giggled and kissed him lightly.

"You're drunk, darling."

"I hope you're mine forever." He murmered into her hair. The thought of leaving must really have been taking a toll on him. He was much more intimate and affectionate as usual. The conversation Rinoa had with Selphie earlier rung familiar in Rinoa's ears. Maybe he's the one, just maybe. Together, they stumbled into the back seat of the taxi.

Seifer kissed her again, at first softly grazing, and then more firm. He was still caressing her, softly, though it turned rougher and rougher, more and more needing. Rinoa knew what was coming up tonight, once they got into the house. She kissed him back, her resistance dropping. She found the need to remind herself there was a driver in the car.

Seifer held her close and lifted her into her arms when they got to the door. He opened it, and despite the giggling, not a person in the house stirred. He took her to bed, where the kissing began again. The passion mounted and mounted, until it burst into moments of bliss, which he collapsed soon after. He held her close and kissed her on her head.

"I love you so god damn much Rinoa. So god damn much."

"I love you too, Seifer."

"I never want to leave you. I never want to hurt you."

"Then please, just don't."


	3. A Shot

**Disclaimer: **It's been said. Squaresoft owns this…and I am entirely jealous.

_The time leading up to Seifer, Zell, and Quistis's departure. The time would fly by quick, but hit hard. Just like a shot._

_Author's note: Seifer is a good guy in this, thus far. I can promise he continues to be good, just as much as I promise he will be bad as well. How it turns out, is left to the final chapter. Also, no freaking couple suggestions? You telling me, will help me write the next chapter._

* * *

Rinoa woke up, exhausted and with a major headache. All she wanted was to sink into the bath and let the steam rise the stress away. But it seemed like that wasn't going to happen. She had waken up too late to call dibs on the tub. Seifer was sleeping heavily next to her, a very satisfied man. She pulled back the covers and tried to go back to sleep next to him. If there were only two days, she would want to spend every moment with him. She crawled back next to Seifer and nuzzled him. He stirred, but not enough to signal waking up.

Ten minutes later, she had decided waking up was futile and moved his arm from around her waist. It then came to her mind that perhaps she should make breakfast for him. Yes, this seemed like a good idea. She threw her hair up into a ponytail and put on a cotton robe. When searching the cupboards, she could tell this was the kitchen of people who spent too much money on going out at night then living essentials. Canned pasta. Instant meals. Cereal. But someone had thought ahead and bought pancake mix, that had never been used. And so, she started on the meal.

Selphie walked into the room, yawning, and then glowing with surprise. "Pancakes?! I want some."

Okay, so the breakfast for two became a breakfast for three. No problem. Zell followed Selphie into the room.

"Pancakes?! Those are my favorite!" He grinned with surprise. So, no big deal. Rinoa and Seifer's breakfast would just have to turn into a double date. Quistis walked into the room, while the other two were exiting.

"Oh, I haven't eaten a warm, home-cooked meal since we first moved in. You're such a sweetheart, kiddo." Quistis patted her on the back, and then went to opening cupboards. "I hope there's chocolate chips…"

As you may have guessed, Irvine walked into the room.

"Gee, Rinoa, I hope there's enough mix for all of us!"

Okay, so what's so wrong with a group breakfast? She glanced at Squall while she poured the mix, who was reading the paper in his usual lounge chair.

"I'm assuming you want some too, Squall?" He looked up for just one second, and met her eyes.

"No, I'll stick with a glass of milk, thank you." She was kind enough to pour it for him. After all the pancakes were set out, thankfully with chocolate chips, all the residents of the house were together. Seifer came down, and took a deep breath.

"This smells…delicious." Only Squall sat by himself with a glass of milk. Quistis took her plate towards him.

"What are you reading, Squall?" She took a small bite, and watched him intently.

"The Galbadia mission coming up for the three of you." Everyone in the room had their attention snapped to Squall, excluding Zell who was too deep in his pancakes to take notice of anything but.

"Well…how's it looking?" Seifer asked. Squall looked up, and into his eyes.

"4 casualties, one of them SeeD."

Rinoa felt her stomach drop. She felt sick. What could she say to that? She searched for words…quietly, she looked down, and back at Seifer.

"What…what exactly will be your mission in Galbadia?"

"You'd think that since the overthrow of the Galbadian government that the resistance groups would have left completely…but new ones have come up. People who had supported the Galbadian government, even some ex-officials. They're…extremely violent. We're to take the leader of one of them captive."

"And how dangerous is this group?" Rinoa felt herself grow frantic. Squall looked back at the paper, and non-chalantly informed her.

"It's an average sized one. Not the most clever, either. I've seen Seifer, Quistis, and Zell in action. They can hold their own." Despite the reassurance, Rinoa just didn't feel hungry anymore. She put the plate in the sink. House rule was, the last person to eat did the dishes. Irvine hated this rule especially, since he never did finish as quick as the rest of them. This time, he did receive help. The upcoming mission certainly did bring a sense of unity into the house.

Rinoa finally took a well-deserved shower, and let the warm water run down her, wishing her troubles would go down the drain with it. She had been rather selfish though, worrying only about Seifer. What if Quistis didn't come back?

_The house would be in complete dysfunction. _Rinoa smiled to herself. And if Zell didn't?

_The house would be as clean and orderly as possible. _She smiled again. She loved Zell and Quistis, and in actuality, did not have it in her to fathom the loss of them seriously. Where did her once-admired optimism go? She remembered.

Seifer's last mission was what SeeD considered long-term, a month and two weeks. He was sent to Trabia. Rinoa was still living with her father in Timber, but wrote to where he was stationed every day. Every day, she opened the mailbox and had a new letter from him to hold close. But one day, there was no letter.

The following day, there was also no letter.

By the third day, she was thinking the worst.

He had been captured by the enemy, and interrogated of SeeD's plans. They left him along the roadside, and after overcoming some memory loss, showed up on Rinoa's door step three weeks since their first letter. It was the most miserable twenty-one days of her life. He vowed he would never let her feel that way again. He signed up for short-term missions only, which was a privilege he received for being injured on the job. Short-term missions are a week, and not an hour more.

She heard the bathroom door open, and held the shower curtain to her body while peering out. It was Seifer.

"C'mon Rinny, not anything I haven't seen before…or last night."

"Ah, but it's daylight and I look like hell. Out, out, out!"

"Can't I join you?" He proceeded to take off his shirt.

"Well…I suppose."

Rinoa left the shower feeling much dirtier than she had entered it. She let her wet hair fan across the pillow and snuggled under the pink sheets, reminding her that she had won that battle. Seifer followed and laid down, facing her.

"Rinoa, have you ever heard the phrase, 'at it like rabbits?'"

"Yes, I know the meaning of that one, Seifer." Her voice was stern, but her smile was not.

"I think that describes us…perfectly." His humorous tone made Rinoa laugh and play punch him. She settled down and gazed into his eyes.

"Was I the best?"

"The best what?" He ran his fingers across his wet hair and got up from the bed. Slipping on some boxers, he sat back down and took her hand.

"You know, the best." Rinoa nudged.

"The best pancake maker? I don't know, my mother's were pretty fantastic. The best sheet purchaser? I'd have to disagree on that one. The best woman I've ever known? Absolutely."

"Oh, don't play around. The best…in bed." He laughed, but toned it down when he looked at the seriousness in her face.

"It's not like I have been with thousands of women, Rinoa! Just two, besides you." He ruffled her hair, which she immediately straightened back out.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Rinoa, you were the absolute best, and I don't think I'll ever meet anyone with the natural ability that you have." He kissed her. She believed him. Today was the kind of day, where laying in bed with him for hours on end seemed like the greatest way to spend twenty-four hours. And for some of those hours, that's just what they did. Chatting, kissing, joking. Two years, and their relationship hadn't bored her even an ounce.

Later in the evening, the roommates decided to play drinking games in the living room. Rinoa, remembering her headache, politely declined. She took one of her favorite books and sat in the kitchen across from Squall, who was doing a crossword puzzle.

"Doing the puzzles in ink, I see." Rinoa commented. Her and Squall have not once had a conversation by themselves.

"I would do it in pencil if I was prone to making mistakes."

"Cocky!" Rinoa did enjoy the moments that Squall showed some personality. He glanced towards her, with minimal interest, but interest nonetheless.

"And what are you reading?"

"My favorite book." She closed the cover and held it lovingly, like a child.

"What's it called?" He took a sip of another glass of milk and placed it on the table. He must have the strongest bones...

"It's called 'Salt or Pepper.' It's about this princess, who is married to a handsome prince, who was a daredevil, and in the end she-"

"-Chooses the comfortable servant. I read it."

"That's surprising, this is a pretty feminine story." His eyebrow raised when she said this.

"I read a lot."

Rinoa had figured Squall had such little to him, but he was a little bit entertaining. At 10:30, without much more conversation towards Squall, Rinoa headed to bed. It took her a while to fall asleep with the roar of inebriation coming from the downstairs, but eventually she did. She only stirred once when Seifer crawled back into bed around 3. Both of them were too tired to partake in any intimate activities.

The day afterwards, Seifer slept in once more, and when he awoke, the mood in the entire house was somber. They all knew the proceeding day, 3 of them would depart, and the chance of losing their lives or being harmed would be significantly increased. Yet no one mentioned it. Not one person wanted to talk about what was ahead of them this time.

Again, the group went out for dinner, and Rinoa tried not to let her mind fall into it's overdramatic reactions. Like, what if this was the last meal they all enjoyed together? Again, each person held their drink up into the air, but only one toast was said.

'To coming home safe.'

The next day, Seifer did not sleep in. Nor did any other member of the house. At 6 a.m., there was the silent buzz of existence throughout the house. There was anxiety, tension. Rinoa sat on her bed, with her head resting on her knees, listening to Seifer shower. He came back into the room, and put on his SeeD uniform.

"Well, how do I look?" He did a spin, but Rinoa did not find it in herself to laugh this time.

"I have never seen someone look so handsome in my life." She stood and smoothed back his hair. A gentle kiss sealed the deal, and they held each other, for their few last private moments in their bedroom for two weeks. She savored every second.

Quistis and Zell were both wearing their uniforms when Seifer and Rinoa came downstairs. Irvine, Selphie, and Squall were also awake. They stood together in groups, until the clock told them it was time to get in the car, and head to the train station. One by one, they piled into the car.

At the train station, Irvine and Seifer were talking, and Rinoa took this time to give Quistis a hug.

"Rinoa, don't fret. I'll take care of him, I promise. You know me, nothing can take me down." She gave Rinoa a wink.

"I'll miss you Quistis. And I promise, I'll clean every day you're gone!" Rinoa tried her best to smile.

"I don't think you'll need to with Zell being gone. The mess follows me! But please, make Irvine use a coaster." Quistis went to say her goodbyes to the rest of the group before boarding the train. Rinoa shook Zell's hand formally.

"Now don't be so down! We'll come back, and all in one piece. Don't you go doubting me, there ain't nothing I can't take care of! I'll give 'em hell!"

"Oh, I know you will Zell. Can I say good luck anyway?"

"Damn, is that necessary? Whatever, if it'll make YOU feel assured." He looked insulted and hurt, but Rinoa mustered a giggle.

"Good luck Zell."

He too said goodbye to his friends anyways, and the valediction she was most dreading approached her with a glazed look in his eyes.

"Seifer…" She put her hand on his shoulder and he pulled her close.

"Rinoa, don't cry…you know I hate it when you cry."

"I'm not crying yet…"

"Yet, keyword, just please, don't cry until I'm gone." It was impossible of him to ask her this, and more unlikely that she would oblige. Two weeks, and any one of those 14 days, one of those 336 hours, one of those 20,160 minutes, he could die. It would only take one of those for him to be killed. All the reassurance she was receiving didn't prepare her for this moment where she would have to say goodbye, and let the future take its course out of her hands.

"I love you Seifer." The train whistled, and he looked towards it urgently.

"I love you too, Rinoa. You're my world. I'll send you a letter as soon as we arrive at base. I promise."

"Please be safe. Promise that too."

"I promise." The second train whistle parted them, and the doors closed behind Seifer. Rinoa knew he was still watching her, so she waited until the train was out of sight to let herself cry.


	4. Champagne

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy. Do you? Give me.

_Champagne. A perfect drink for celebration. Bubbling, and lighthearted._

_Author's note: Special thanks to _Emerald-Latias _for the guidance and positive, helpful criticism. It's very rare to find someone who will tell you what should be improved upon in a story positively, and I want to promise you that Rinoa's sappiness is emphasized for a future described reason, but can easily be toned down a bit, and thanks!_

_Also, sorry for a late update. Computer crashed, and my entire story outline and this chapter met an untimely demise._

* * *

How did Rinoa feel? Miserable. Just miserable. She had woken up to the first morning in a while where she was alone. So soon after being accustomed to Seifer being beside her as she slept, it was unfair.

"Rinoa, we're going out to breakfast, wake up pleaseee!" Selphie yelped.

"I'm up, I'm up." It was much easier to hop into the shower today, as Quistis normally calls it, and Irvine and Selphie had been awake for hours. Despite Rinoa going to be as early as she did, she didn't really feel like bringing herself up to the actual waking. There was not too much point in applying make-up generously, so with some cover-up and mascara she hopped into the car with her three roommates.

Everyone else in the house looked a little bit worn and tense, just as Rinoa was. Each person was worried about the three that had left, and no one would feel at ease until the first letters came. Rinoa picked at her eggs, eating a little bit here or there. Selphie looked disappointedly.

"C'mon Rin, it won't be all that bad. You still have the three of us." She put her hand on Rinoa's shoulder.

"I'm just not that hungry today, Selph." Selphie had been eating with a healthy appetite. Squall was as usual, eating politely with sips of milk in between. Irvine devoured his entire plate, and did everything short of licking it clean. "I'm not a pig like him, anyways…"

"He's just…dedicating this feast to Zell. In his own way…" Rinoa smiled. She started to eat a little more. There was no use in crying and being so solemn. It would be hard, but it would be harder to take the sympathy and to rot in her misery.

"So what's on the agenda for the next two weeks?" She asked her friends.

"Lots of shopping! Now that Seifer is gone, I can have you all to myself!" Selphie squealed with the upmost glee.

"First, I'll need to go job hunting. My savings isn't going to last me that long, if I'm going to be shopping with you." Rinoa's wallet, was once fat with a monthly allowance from General Caraway. The older she was getting, however, the more he skimmed off each month. She still had enough to pay her portion of rent, but her leisurely purchases were becoming farther, fewer, and less expensive. Within the next year, she was sure he would cut her off completely. Yes, it was time for Rinoa to get a real job.

"We can go this afternoon, Rinoa! If you have a job, whenever Seifer is gone, you'll have something to do to pass the time, too. It's a great idea!" Selphie hugged her friend, and Rinoa did see this point as one of optimism, rather than an insult.

"You could always join SeeD with us." Squall added while cutting up his food. It was always strange being the odd one out of SeeD. Rinoa could fight, this was true. She was even in a Timber resistance group for a period of time.

"Seifer would never allow that." Rinoa shook her head in dismay. It was almost a double-standard really. He could go and risk his life to earn money, while she worried, but it would never work out vice versa. That's what he always told her. The subject was changed.

"Well, not that there's any liquor to do a toast with, but I for one would like to thank the gods, that I can spend a little more alone time with Selphie…" Irvine winked at her and reached for her hand. Selphie courteously scooted away in her seat.

"You're going to need to figure out a new agenda, Irvine." Rinoa said while Selphie took cover next to her.

"A lot of beer…now that I don't have to split it between anyone." Irvine added. "Unless you'll join, girls."

Selphie wrinkled her nose in disgust and took a sip of orange juice. "I don't drink beer."

"Well with Seifer gone, and living with you guys…I see a lot of drinks in my future." She stated smiling.

She didn't know the half of it.

- - - - - - - - -

"So where to first Rinoa?" Selphie had dropped the men off at home, and now it was time to job hunt.

"I don't know Selph…I don't have any experience anywhere." Rinoa pulled her purse onto her lap. She was a little ashamed. After taking so many hand outs from her father, she had forgotten to prioritize the whole employment thing.

"Well, let's get you started with a standard job then. No huge wages, no huge commitment. Then after a couple months, maybe we can get you a better one. You can move on up!" Selphie proceeded to pull into the mall. And so, the hunting began.

Applications. So many damn applications. Every big and small clothing label, they started out with. Rinoa really should have done more with herself this morning. She went over the information.

Name: Rinoa Heartilly. Age: 18. Special Skills:…What special skills did she have? What really would make her stand out from the next girl to walk in there? Previous convictions: None. Previous employment: None. As many convictions as jobs. That showed how little wisdom she really had.

"Okay Rinoa, so far you could be an annoying perfume-counter-lady-"

"It's called a sales assistant."

"Yeah, whatever. You could be one of those ladies that take all my money."

"A cashier, Selphie."

"Same thing!" Selphie said in exasperation. "Where else can we try?"

"Well, we could always try restaurants. Getting tips would make going out on week days a lot easier."

"I won't be going out at night if I have work the next morning, or the same night!" Rinoa insisted, but Selphie just lasted.

"When you're our age…you always find a way." She pulled into a vacant parking lot, of a shabby diner, and together they walked in. An average man wearing a pin that had his position and name seemed to be boasting on his chest. Manager. Zone. With dark hair and dark eyes, he looked vaguely familiar. Rinoa felt the routine words come out of her mouth.

"Hi, may I please have an applic-wait a minute…Zone?!"

"Long time no see, Rinoa." Zone replied, with a huge smile on his face. Selphie looked back and forth.

"Uhm…have you guys met?" Zone came from behind the counter to give Rinoa a hug.

"Yes! Zone was one of my partners back in Timber. When I was part of the resistance!" Rinoa exclaimed.

"More like your lackey, Princess." Zone laughed.

"So what happened to you, Zone? How'd you end up working here? You're so smart, and organized. I'd figure you would be a CEO somewhere by now."

"I could ask you the same thing. If I'm not mistaken, I thought the next word out of your mouth before recognizing me was 'application,' but correct me if I'm wrong." Zone held up the application that Rinoa so dreaded.

"There's a time in every girl's life…where she needs to get a job." Rinoa giggled as she plucked the application from his grasp.

"A princess never works." Zone replied.

"Well, this one has to…but just temporarily. Until she finds buried treasure. Or wins the lottery. But anyways, how'd you get here, Zone?"

"Well, after the Forest Owls broke up, when you left for Balamb, me and Watts would do odd jobs, clean up work. Trying to get Timber back on it's feet. When I did so much, that there was nothing else to do, I ended up here. And how did _you _get here Rinoa? I could much better see you singing one of Julia's songs, being a star somewhere, then in a coffee shop."

"Oh Zone, you know I can't sing to save my life. After Timber, I stayed in a Balamb Garden dorm. Cid was nice enough to allow that without me taking classes. But it was really boring while everyone from SeeD ran around the world. When my friends and Seifer graduated, we all moved in together."

"Still with that Seifer, eh? It's been a while for you two…how's that working out?"

"It's been just wonderful."

"Living together is sure a big step…always thought you were too independent for that step Rinoa. I could've seen you married and still living by yourself."

"Things change. And besides, I've never been that independent…which is why I came here. I need money that my dad hasn't touched yet."

"There is no such thing as money that your dad has never touched, haha." They both laughed. Zone never understood why Rinoa chose to live in their makeshift home while she had a mansion at home. Her father had just about all the money in the world, and it never did make her happy. It was a show of character.

"Now how about you hand me a pen, Zone, so I can fill this out." She held out her hand, but Zone did not oblige.

"I'm sorry to say this, but I'm going to have to take that application from you, Rinoa."

"What? Why?!" A sense of confusion rather than fury was an overtone in her voice.

"Because I know everything about you, Rinoa. And we can't waste paper." He took the application and put it back under the counter.

"Does this mean…"

"Come in tomorrow, Rinoa. You're hired. You've handled a lot of jobs bigger than this, I know you can do this one."

Rinoa and Selphie held each other and jumped for joy, very typical for excited women.

"I won't let you down, Zone, I promise!" She hugged him and waved goodbye.

"This is so great Rinoa! You can be one of those cute waitresses with an apron and a coffee pot. Oh, I'm going to come here all the time!"

"As long as you leave a big tip, I'm fine with that." Rinoa playfully shoved her. Finally, she had a job. All thanks to Zone!

"By the way, Rinoa, that Zone guy is pretty cute. I just might have to come here even when you're not working…"

"You're going to break Irvine's heart with that attitude!"

"Oh, please." And the girls picked up a bottle of champagne, and toasted to growing up. Though they were doing it fast, they were enjoying every minute of it.


	5. Martini

**Disclaimer: **Writing these get old. Squaresoft owns FFVIII. I just nourish myself with their incredible games.

_A martini. The drink of the classy, the business manager, the employed. When you get home, nothing will relax you like a martini._

_Author's Note: I know the pace is awkward, but the ball is rolling, I promise._

Rinoa woke up excited and with an extra spring in her step. Today was the first day of her first job. The life-quality improvement was enough to get her up before her alarm clock. She put her hair up, added a fresh face of make-up, and slipped on some jeans and a polo. With a great enthusiasm, she started the car and made her way to Louie's Coffee shop, where she would start her job as a waitress.

Walking in, Zone met her at the door, and handed her a yellow article of clothing, Rinoa opened it and stretched it front of her.

"I hope this isn't what I think it is, Zone." She held it up against her body.

"It is exactly what you think it is. Sorry, but not my decision. Uniforms are mandatory. Should I get you some better shoes?"

Rinoa examined the torture device carefully. It was a short, bright yellow dress. There was a white collar at the top, and white buttons down to the waist, where a starch-white apron was pinned to. Bordering it, was an awful, gawdy frill. Her enthusiasm lessened. She looked down to her black, high-top sneakers.

"Yeah...some matching shoes would be nice." Zone went behind a wooden door labeled 'employees only' and emerged with a pair of white flats. He set it on top of Rinoa's uniform, and she went to the bathroom.

After buttoning up the top and slipping on the shoes, she dared to look in the mirror, and held in a dramatic gasp. She looked like a sun flower. She was brighter than the sun. The uniform was snug and gawdy. This must have been a prank, but when she opened the door, she saw another waitress wearing the same thing.

"You look glowing, darling." Zone said to her, suppressing a laugh. He handed Rinoa a pad of paper. "Now, those tables over there, by the window, are yours. Once a customer walks in, you will greet them with 'Hi, I'm Rinoa, and I'll be your waitress today!' and ask them what drinks they would like to start off with. If I catch you in a mood other then friendly, I'll have to give you a strike. 3 strikes, and you're out. Now after you bring them their drinks, ask if they're ready to order, if they say not yet, then leave and make yourself busy over by the counter. You'll know when they're ready when they put their menus down, or when they make eye contact with you. Otherwise, check back in five minutes."

"That's a lot to rememb-"

"When they order something, write it down on the pad of paper. At the end of the day, I'll hand you a sheet of shorthand I'm going to want you to memorize, but don't worry about it too much. Normally people just order coffee, and I won't hold it against you if you don't write it in shorthand, it's just much faster. And look, here's your first customers." Zone finished his speeched and looked over Rinoa's shoulder at three customers. Rinoa sighed, and laughed. It was her dear old roommates. Irvine, was evidently dragged out of bed by Selphie, who was so full of pep that she would not need a single cup of coffee. Squall was holding his newspaper, as usual. They sat over by the window, and Rinoa walked over.

'Uhm, I'm Rinoa, and I'll be your waitress today. Can I start you off with your drinks?" She was biting her lip not to laugh, as was Selphie.

"I'll have a coffee, pleasseeee."

"The same." Irvine groaned, setting his head in his hands.

"A glass of milk, please."

Rinoa wrote the orders on the pad and went back to the kitchen, where Zone showed her where all the beverages were. Rinoa emerged from the swinging door with two mugs, a glass of milk, and a coffee pot. Zone told her that she would have to learn how to keep her hands full, and she took her steps slow in fear of dropping any of these items. She poured the coffee and set down the milk.

"Are you guys uh, ready to order?" She knew this was where the games would begin.

"Well, what do _you _suggest, ma'am? What's good here?" Irvine asked, with a polite smile.

"Irvine, don't test me." Rinoa growled through a smile. Squall put down his menu.

"_I _am ready to order." Squall said, placing down his menu and smiling.

"Okay...what do you want?" Rinoa put pen to paper.

"I want two omelettes, egg whites only, american and mozarella cheese, green peppers diced finely, fresh tomatoes sliced, chopped onions, and make sure the eggs aren't overcooked...I really hate when they're overcooked." Even Squall was testing her now, which made her smile a little more genuine. When Squall was playful, you had to appreciate it. Rinoa looked at her already full piece of paper, and resisted complaining. She really would need to learn this shorthand.

"I want the cowboy's breakfast..." Irvine said, pointing to the picture in the menu. "Steak, rare, eggs over-easy. I want maple sausage, too."

"Mmmmm, that looks good, I'll have the same. But scrambled eggs. Oh, and toast!"

"Coming right up..." Rinoa said. She put the paper in the line for the cook, and started making a new pot of coffee. When she turned back around, Zone was talking to her roommates, and they were laughing. He came back and patted her on the back.

"What was all that about?" Rinoa asked. He looked her up and down.

"We were just deciding whether you looked more like a banana or a daffodil in that outfit."

Rinoa laughed, and got back to her 'customers' with a fresh round of coffee.

* * *

Rinoa got home in a totally different mood then she had left with. It was 5 p.m., and she felt like she could fall asleep right there. When she opened the door, her roommates were sitting around the television, and greeted her with cheer. Rinoa just collapsed with her head on Selphie's lap.

"Don't make me go back...ever."

"Oh, Rinoa, it isn't that bad I'm sure." Squall said, with no sympathy.

"It is Squall, it is. I hate this uniform. And I never thought people were so annoying! They ask you what you think THEY should order, as if you've eaten everything on the menu-"

"That's when you point to the most expensive meal, Rin." Irvine smiled smugly.

"It'll all be worth it when you get your paycheck!" Selphie added.

"If I even make it that long. I slipped today too, did I tell you that? Luckily, the shards of glass broke my fall." Rinoa rubbed her lower back. At least no blood was showing though the mustard dress.

"Someone's a little clumsy." Came from Squall.

"Well, Rinoa. If it makes you feel better, we got letters today from wherever everyone else is stationed." Rinoa jumped up a little bit at Selphie's mention of this.

"It didn't say where they're stationed?" Selphie shook her head.

"That's against SeeD rules. Only they can know." Rinoa sighed and grabbed the pile of letters on the table. There were three, one from each roommates.

"Why did you only open two?" Rinoa asked, holding the closed one. It was addressed to her.

"Seifer wrote only you one." Selphie looked at it with a dreamy look in her eye. "It was so ahrd for me not to open it!"

"Yeah, very polite of him…" Squall started. Rinoa ignored his remark and read the two letters that were already open.

* * *

_'Dear roommates,_

_How is the house? Is it filthy? Irvine, I swear that if I get home and there is a single shoe print on the coffee table, I will KILL you. But anyways guys, we got here late, but in time to send out the mail. We were briefed and we start tomorrow. I want to reassure you guys, that it is no more dangerous than any other mission we've ever been assigned. And I've never came back hurt from one of those. The only danger we really face is Zell, because he has an ongoing bet with another SeeD to see who can last without taking a shower the longest. The first stench that enters my vicinity from him, will be his end, I promise this. Selphie, make sure that no one is worrying, as usual, I have everything under control. Squall, I know you're next responsible from me, so keep an eye on those troublemakers. Rinoa, only use a circular motion when cleaning things, otherwise, you'll leave streaks._

_Affectionately,_

_Quistis._

* * *

_'Sup guys!_

_These people at camp are totally my kind of people! Me and my buddy Jason decided we're going to have a contest to see who can go longer without showering. This is so gonna piss Quistis off, heheh. This is the only stuff that's going to keep me going these next two weeks. No beer, no football games, no co-ed bathrooms. I could use a soft woman's touch…and Quistis's touch, is not that soft. You should've seen how hard she slapped me for ONE sex joke!! But anyways, I miss you guys, we're going to kick some ass here. See ya soon!_

_Zell._

* * *

Rinoa laughed. She could almost smell him from here. But it was great to hear they were doing fine, and very reassuring that this job wasn't more dangerous than the rest. Quistis always had a knack for making Rinoa feel a little more secure and alright. She was sure that was her motivation for some of the letter. Rinoa ran upstairs to read her letter alone. She collapsed on the bed, and opened the envelope. This letter, actually did have a fragrance. It smelled just like Seifer and she held it for just a bit, knowing he had held it for a moment the same. Taking a deep breath of him, she started reading the contents of the letter

* * *

_Dear Rinoa,_

_I'm glad that you're spending time with the sane roommates, though I never feel safe when any woman is with Irvine. And you never know those tricks that Squall could pull. I miss home so much. Any pink sheets are much better than this stiff cot. I think SeeD should just start having women decorate the camps we're stationed at. It could use a ladies touch, and Cid has no idea of comfort either. We were briefed today, and I guarantee you Rinoa, I am absolutely safe. You really should have more confidence in me! I miss you so much, Rinoa. I will be home, on time, and see you soon. It hasn't been too long since I've seen you, but still, it kills me. Don't tell all those other guys that I'm a softie…They don't need to know. I love you more than you'll ever know._

_Seifer._

* * *

Rinoa closed her eyes and smiled. This was just what she needed after such a long day. She tucked the letter into the drawer of her nightstand, and grabbed a pen to immediately write him back. In her best penmanship, she wrote a letter about her twenty-four hours without him, and how much she missed him. She didn't cry, however. She had promised herself not to dwell on the fact that he wasn't there, but rejoice in the fact that there were only thirteen days left. After rereading the letter to herself, she slipped it into the envelope and put it on the kitchen table with the rest of the outgoing mail.

"Selphie, let's go out tonight."

"Okay, what do ya want to do?" She asked Rinoa, placing her own letter on the table.

"What is there to do? I have enough money in tips to do something that isn't too expensive…" Rinoa felt her wallet, which was not starved, but still very lean.

"What do you mean what is there to do? What do we always do when we go out? We drink, of course!" Irvine said with a smile, and Selphie laughed. Squall rolled his eyes.

"Is that all you guys have to do, really?"

"Squall, don't kill my buzz. You can sit home and drink milk all you want, but I am taking these fine two ladies out to the club for some dancing and drinks!" Irvine took Selphie's hand and kissed it. Selphie seemed to be excited, but Rinoa was questioning the idea.

"I've never been to a club before…" Rinoa felt Selphie squeeze her hand with glee.

"Then get ready, because this is going to be a blast, Rin!"


	6. Cosmo

**Disclaimer: **No, still don't own this. Working on it!

_A cosmopolitan. For anyone who just wants to have fun._

* * *

_Author's Note: I'm glad you noticed, Emerald-Latias, that her diner was that of the old school ones. I had a barbie doll that was ridiculously old that had the outfit I was describing._

_I attribute my lack of update to the ACT, MME, birthday, boyfriend, and Final Exams. Television lies to you folks. There are NOT the best years of one's life. I can, however, tell you with the upmost glee that the guy I'm dating adores ffviii and agrees with me that it is the BEST video game in the world. Yesssss 3_

* * *

Rinoa had never been to a club before. Selphie, however, had. So when Rinoa threw on jeans and a v-neck t-shirt, Selphie knew that it had to go. When she tossed Rinoa in a black baby doll dress with some silver eye make-up, Rinoa laughed at herself in the mirror. Who did she have to impress? Selphie was similarly wearing a yellow, silk dress that didn't cover much of anything.

Squall had agreed to accompany the group, after much persuasion from the other three roommates. He had agreed finally when the thought of the cab fare for everyone else to get home. He dressed casually, in black pants and a leather jacket, and Rinoa admitted to herself he looked handsome when he didn't look like such a stiff. After everyone looked club enough, they piled into the car.

Upon arriving, Rinoa found herself uncomfortable with the flashing lights, smokey atmospheres, and loud music. Selphie kept shouting things at her and Rinoa couldn't hear. It was too high-paced, and much louder than a bar. And where to start? Dancing or drinks? Rinoa laughed to herself, because she knew she would never be able to dance with all these people without a couple of drinks in her system. So Rinoa sat down, and let Irvine handle the drinks order. A cosmo? Never had that before, but it looked cute and delicious to her. She wrinkled her face at the alcohol taste as she often did, but still drank it. After two of these divine beverages, Rinoa decided to dance with Selphie. Afterall, it didn't seem like conversation would too much play a part in this evening.

Selphie grabbed Rinoa by the hand and lead her to the very front of the dance floor, right in front of the speaker. It was the heart, pumping out sound while the cardiovascular floor system in front pumped with life at each bass hit. The flashy lights and smoke were growing on Rinoa, and everytime the music sped up, so did she. Her and Selphie were entirely in-sync. Irvine was spinning around a petite blonde across the crowd, and Squall was watching from a plush lounge area across the club. By the time Rinoa felt her cheeks flushed with energy, and her mouth dry from smiling and panting, she strategically dodged her way through the crowd. Jumping onto a bar stool, she ordered another cosmo.

The bartender slid one towards her, and Rinoa took a sip to revive her buzz that was wearing away. She was surprised how she didn't feel awkward sitting in a line of these strangers. It must've just been the booze.

Rinoa was starting up a conversation with the bartender when she felt a warm breath on her ear.

"Hey, how are you?" The voice was clearly a man's, and Rinoa backed up a couple of inches before turning to see who it was. It was no one she recognized or knew, so she was put off immediately.

"I'm fine." Being as naive as she was, she didn't leave back to her safety zone, she only averted her gaze.

"You're looking real good tonight." The young man had gel in his hair, and smelled like a mix of liquor, cologne, and sweat.

"Thanks." Rinoa only glanced over at him when she spoke, but felt uncomfortable and stiff every time he leaned in.

"Mind if I buy you another one of those?" The man pointed to her drink.

"Sure..." Rinoa was actually not sure if those was a good course of action, but she accepted the offer regardless. Within that drink she found out his name was Ryan and he was from far away. Within the next, she found out that he was going to school to be a mechanic. The one after that, she found out that his last girlfriend had dumped him for his brother. And the last drink, she discovered the curves that he appreciated on a woman.

The conversation had grown more and more intimate, as Rinoa grew less and less sober. Things had progressed to Ryan and Rinoa facing each other, with his hand on her knee, but Rinoa hadn't even noticed. She was focusing on the bubbling feelings in her limbs, the light-headed feeling that made it hard to sit up straight.

Yes, the only thing on her mind was this physical and mental innebriation that the majority of people interpret as fun. She was not paying attention to the man next to her, or his warm, friendly hands. Nor did she see someone else working their way through the crowd towards her.

"So, Rinoa, how about we go back to my place and talk some more? You seem like a pretty awesome girl.

"Well I-" Rinoa felt a firm grip on her arm, and her being pulled by a gentle tug off the bar stool.

"Sorry buddy, she's taken." Squall said, eyeing the young guy who didn't have a chance to swear and curse. By the time he had understood what happened, Squall was pulling Rinoa across the dance floor.

"Whattya do that for?" She asked, sloppily slapping his arm.

"This is why drinking is ridiculous. That guy was hitting on you, and he was not very nice. You were not safe." Squall said into her ear.

"He was just buying me a couplea drinks!"

"Don't be stupid. You would've never forgiven yourself if I let you sit there just one drink longer."

"Let's just...dance." She was smiling at how protective he was being and felt a friendly affection towards him for the first time.

"No, Rinoa, we're going home." He was still pulling her hand, but she stopped. With a harder yank, she wouldn't budge. "Rinoa, Selphie and Irvine are already in the car waiting, we are going home."

"No, I wanna stay. I won't budge." She crossed her arms. He pulled again and found that she wasn't, and was very determined to stay in that place. So with a sigh, he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder. With a gasp, she started punching him. "Put me down! Put me down right now!"

A couple people were giving awkward looks, to which Squall replied, "Taking the drunk home."

Outside of the club, Squall tossed Rinoa into the passenger seat and quickly locked the door while she clawed at it. Once he started the car, she gave up and laid her head on the seat. Mouth open, she let the exhaustion overcome her. When she opened her eyes due to movement, Squall was caring her up the stairs of the house, and placed her in her bed. Tucked in and warm, she slept off the drunk spell that made her think that it meant something.

* * *

Rinoa woke up, and it wasn't pleasant. The first thing she felt, was the feeling that a cinderblock was sitting on her skull. The second feeling was the urge to vomit. She quickly stood up, to which she soon regret from the throbbing sensation of her head, and then ran to the bathroom. She threw up all sorts of colors from the previous night, and rested her head on her hand. Oh god, after last night, she would never drink again.

Most of the night was blurred to her. Some guy...Squall hauling her off...she couldn't believe she really acted like that. Clubbing was not for her. And the way the contents from last night were coming out, she could not think about drinking again. When she walked downstairs, in the same clothes from last night, Irvine held in a laugh. Selphie looked a little worn herself, but had showered and was wearing a yellow robe.

"Wow, Rinoa, looking good..." Irvine was still stifling the laugh.

"Shut up. Now." She slumped over the table and rested her head on her arms.

"I'm assuming you don't want a beer to make that headache go away." When Irvine said this, Rinoa's gag reflex made a move.

"Leave her alone, she had a rough night." Squall called from his usual lounge chair.

"Hey Rinny, if it makes you feel better, you got a letter today!" Selphie said, placing an ivory envelope in front of Rinoa. Rinoa's heavy eyes opened a little to gaze at the chicken-scratch writing that was her name. It was from Seifer, and filled with glee, she tore open the envelope.

___________

_Rinoa,_

_This camp smells awful, did I mention that? Maybe it's just Zell's lack of showering. ONE DAY and he smells awful. And I feel like this mission is futile. The resistance groups will never cease. Why bother? But still, I know we can manage this mission. It might take a while, but one by one, we'll nail these guys...And congratulations on the job, Rinoa. I can't wait to come back and see my little diner waitress in action. Tell me I get free breakfast? This food sucks. I love you, and I miss you. One more day down, at least._

_Seifer._

__________

Ahh, it certainly seemed the alleviate her headache a little more to be hearing from him. What brought her headache back was the thought of work the next day. As much as the thought of independence made her happy and content, the future of wearing her yellow uniform haunted her. With a shiver, she decided the best thing would be to have a recovery day.

A letter to Seifer was written, summarizing last night's events and sympathizing for the stench he had to live with. After that was done, Rinoa practically crawled into the bath tub and sunk beneath the surface of the steaming water. The sweat from last night was cleansed from her skin, as was the smell of smoke and vomit. She hadn't even noticed the sticky feeling of her hair from throwing up. Drinking made her feel so disgusting.

While washing her hair, she thought to herself, that maybe it was time to slow down the drinking. She just wasn't cut out for the fast-paced life her roommates lived. In Deling with her father, the only alcohol she ever had was champagne at fancy dinner parties. She wasn't raised with the option to sneak off and go to parties like other teenagers had. Rinoa had experienced her taste of freedom, and it was still the prominent bitter taste in her mouth.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt to have a glass of milk in a while like Squall. Healthy bones was much better than a failing liver. He managed to live happily without alcohol in his life, and still enjoy his independence. A glass of wine once in a while, now that was tolerable. A cosmopolitan however, was never going to be introduced into her life again.

After the bath, she went downstairs feeling a little bit better, and a little more refreshed. She ate light, still in fear of her stirring stomach. She didn't even dress in pajamas when she collapsed in her bed, with wet hair. She didn't have the energy to run errands with Selphie, talk to Squall about books, or endure Irvine's teasing. No, she only had the energy to pull the blankets tight around her and slip into the realm of blissful, revitalizing sleep.

* * *

The next day, Rinoa woke up and her stomach was still feeling woozy. It was early in the morning, and she rushed to the toilet and dry-heaved whatever was left into her stomach into the porcelain net. She was definitely paying for her drinks the other night.

After a thorough brushing of her teeth, she dressed in her waitress uniform and tied her hair back. At work she had a much easier time than her first day. Already, she had learned some of the abbreviations for food. After counting out her tips, she found that she had made sixty dollars in them. It had been noticed that the male customers tipped much more. Maybe the yellow uniform was more flattering than she had thought. Regardless, the tips seemed like a lot, and she was determined not to waste them on a night out.

Returning home, Irvine was drinking with Selphie on the couch and Rinoa declined the invite.

"No thanks guys, I think I'll just relax tonight and read. I have work again tomorrow." She tossed her purse on the ground and immediately went to the fridge.

"C'mon Rin, just knock a couple back with us. It'll make ya less stressed." Irvine called in between sips.

"I said no, okay?" Rinoa replied with more of a snippy tone than she had intended.

"Okay, sheesh. Relax. What, is it your time of the month?" Irvine called back. Rinoa rolled her eyes. She went from feeling good to feeling extremely irritated. PMS, she ruled it out to being. She started tomorrow.

"I'm sorry Irvine. I'm just really worn out."

"It's fine, Rin. Just watch the moodiness…you women have knack to indulge yourselves in that." Irvine's comment set her a little bit on edge, but she ignored it. She found a letter from Seifer and went upstairs to write him back. She wasn't putting up with the roommates. Not today. After getting into her pajamas and preparing for her oh-so-fun period tomorrow, she settled down to hopefully enjoy just one restful night, hoping she would feel a little less ill the next morning.


	7. Water

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. :l

_A glass of water. Because one sometimes needs to prioritize their health above fun nights._

**Author's Note: **_Two jobs + Boyfriend + AP reading list + Little resolve._

_Sorry, folks. I suck at commitments. But if it brightens anyone's day, my lovely boyfriend purchased me the FFVIII Griever ring. Heck yes._

_Out of curiosity, who here eats at Denny's?_

Rinoa checked her caldendar twice that day. Seifer was coming home in only two days! She hadn't gone out since the night of the club, and all she wanted was to curl up next to him and relax. In her life, she had never had such passion for anything, or anyone. Seifer made her so happy. So happy...

She found a letter from him on the table, and read it. Smiling to herself, she did not feel the need to write back. 48 hours, and he would be hers again. She should buy him something to celebrate. A 'welcome home,' gift. Just something small, now that she could afford it.

But first, she had other responsibilities and obligations. They went by the name of 'work.' So after throwing on her hideously yellow uniform, combing her hair, Selphie drove her to the tiny diner of doom. Normally she didn't mind fufilling her duty as a working cog in society, but today she did. She felt bloated, nauseas, and sore all over. Her time of the month was any time now, and Seifer would be sorely disappointed that it was scheduled the same time of his return. The moodiness was also another issue when working, but she would do her best to serve everyone with a smile on her face. She arrived 15 minutes early, and hung back in the kitchen prior to clocking in.

Ah, the fragrances of breakfast, the smell of fresh coffee. Hash browns, pancakes, waffles. All of it was so delicious, so...nauseating? Rinoa didn't like this feeling at all. She ran into the bathroom at the first 60 seconds of the breakfast scent and threw up her own breakfast. Even Rinoa couldn't ignore this sign. Pushing the thought to the back of her mind, the urgent message her body was sending her, she wiped her mouth off and flushed. Brushing herself off, she emerged from the bathroom to meet with Zone's crossed arms and irritated expression.

"And what was that about, Rinoa?"

"That? It was nothing, just not feeling too well today." She averted his gaze and started rearranging the pockets on her white apron.

"You feel ill, and you thought it was a good idea to come into work where customers eat the food YOU carry?"

"No, I - "

"Save it, Rinoa. I'll let you off with a warning, but I'm going to have to ask you to go home today."

"But Zone-"

"No, Rinoa, I insist. And get your priorities straight. If you have work in the morning, stay away from partying. That's what it's like in the grown-up world." He turned to leave and Rinoa's moods swung in first circle.

"Excuse me, but just what are you implying Zone? That I'm immature? That I don't know what it's like in the 'grown-up world you speak of?" Rinoa had a sour expression on her face and a bitter tone. Zone however, turned around sweetly with a strained smile.

"Well, Rinoa, I for one never relied on my father's money and worked hard for everything I own. I have realistic views and know what I'm capable and incapable of. If you think you're capable of-"

"Zone, where is this all coming from? You've never said any of this before, not when we were growing up, not in the Timber Owls - "

"Oh, give it a rest, Rinoa. What did the Timber Owls ever accomplish? It was just another of your made up fantasies. That's exactly what I mean but realistic goals and capabilities. You're making more of a difference serving coffee to old men than you did with your extravagant plots in that child's game." What Zone said, it stung. Maybe because she believed him a little. She closed her eyes for a minute, to ignore the pulsating need for tears, for a display of vulnerability. What could she really say to hurt him back? He was just waiting for her retort. She knew what would tug at him the most, however, was saying nothing at all. She grabbed her bag and left, ignoring the calls of her name and apologies following her.

She hurried her steps on the street to avoid having to speak to him. The farther she walked, the farther away the problem slid. Her steps became less heated, and more exhausted as some time flew by, but she seemed to be approaching a new problem down the busy streets. This 'sick' problem wasn't one she could just ignore. Sure, a lot of possibilities ran through her head. Food poisoning, pregnancy, liver purging, menustral troubles. She tried to narrow it down. She could easily reduce it to menustral troubles. Food poisoning seemed unlikely, because it wouldn't be carrying on like it was. As for pregnancy, well, Seifer had no real chance at providing that, to say lightly. Liver purging...it was impossible for the alcohol to still not be processed through her system. But what if it was something greater than all of those? Some serious illness that she was ignoring?

Ah, but she knew what it was, deep down she knew. She didn't know how it happened, but she knew exactly what it was.

You see, nature is a really amazing thing. It doesn't try to trick you, or burden you. It warns you, it signals you. It has a sense that we don't.

No matter what we do to stop it or what we wish for, it WILL take it's course. Interfering with nature's course will more often than not, end with one in a more unhappy situation than before.

Part of the motivation was from Zone, but part of it was for resolution. Rinoa decided to take an adult step in the world, and called the local doctor. He was kind enough to see her without an appointment. She had to be sure, just absolutely sure. It was a block or two away, and it didn't take two sidewalk squares before her nerves set in. About a month or two into the adult world, and already, she had been careless. But should such a minor careless mistake make such a weighty sound at the drop of the gavel?

She hated herself right now. Whether it was this instance or Zone's word, the seed had been planted in her mind. She was so stupid, she was so immature. All her big plans for the world always came crumbling down like the walls of a once grand palace. And yet she would walk out of the rubble, with a stupid grin on her face. Such ambitions were always beautiful, and when they turned to wreckage, she went on to the next project.

Life can't be like that. Ambitions need so much more effort than what she was offering. Dreams need work, obligations require time, realism calls for maturity. She needed to grow up, and she needed to grow up fast. She was so far behind everyone else...

So in the waiting room she sat.

Rinoa hated waiting rooms. The smell of sterile surroundings, the smell of cotton swabs and stethoscopes. The smell was a negative association for the fact that you find out things are wrong with you here. She saw the children running around with red noses and spraying their coughs on glass dividers. Oh, god, kids needed so much guidance.

But the mothers, they showed true patience and persistance. Every sneeze was followed by a kleenex from the purse and a bless you. Rinoa looked in her own purse. A wallet, a couple breath mints, make-up, and body spray. Selfish items. Perhaps the first breath an infant takes cleanses the mother of all selfishness. Maybe that was a learned attitude and habit, to be nurturing. Is it possibly that it just wasn't that she was so screwed up, while everyone else was normal? Just how far behind was she?

The nurse called a mother in, and the child held onto her hand for dear life. He needed her. He needed her to work for him, to give up time for him, to be mature for him. And because she gave him all that and surely more, he looked at her with big eyes of adoration. Just an absolute, pure white adoration that is so innocent and melting, only a child is capable of such love. There is no wrong, in such a love.

Soon, the nurse called her name, and Rinoa grabbed her selfish bag and stood. She was so mad at herself. She wished she could bang her head on the wall. At this moment, she just didn't like herself all that much.

Rinoa followed the nurse down a narrow hall, and was lead to room 3. The room had a tall vinyl seat that she needed to hop on a little bit. Sitting upon sterile paper, she swung her feet back and forth. This was the most irritating part of visiting the doctor. You're put in a room that isn't so obviously labeled 'waiting,' and sit around for twenty minutes until someone finally comes to give you five minutes of their time.

_'Patience, Rinoa. You must learn patience.' _

But as the minutes ticked, she could not find it in herself to resist squirming. Out of all the situations, it happens that the waiting time for the most uncomfortable situation the longest.

She looked across the room at the mirror facing herself and grimaced at the effect the fluorescent lighting had on her skin. Or perhaps it was her condition. Either way, the woman in the mirror looked sickly. Pale, and tired. Not glowing, certainly not glowing. She realized she was still in her awful, daisy yellow uniform. She laughed to herself a little bit. This made her ease up, for a few seconds.

Then the heavy wooden door opened. And revealed a doctor with thin, graying eyebrows. He had wisps of gray hair surrounding the center of a head that would be shiny and bald if it weren't for the hair being swept over to cover it. His mustache looked like it had the same rigidty has wire. The gray mustache faded into a wide beard that was neatly groomed and encompassed by his enormous hand, which was stroking it.

"Good morning, Ms. Heartilly." His voice was warm, and smooth.

"Good morning, Dr. Reynolds." Her voice was more of nails on chalkboard and crammed into one breath. If he noticed, he showed no reaction. His eyes hadn't met hers yet. They stuck to his chart.

"Apparently you're a new patient, would you mind if I asked you a few questions about your medical history?"

Ah, although Rinoa feared it, there it was. Extensive questioning when all she needed was an answer. But his mellow persona seemed to calm her nerves, so she did not question it and panic. She answered each of his low-toned questions, and was glad he was there. His presence had eliminated some anxiety, and only enough lingered to make her tap her fingers a little. After she answered all interrogations of her allergies, mother's history, father's history, smoking, drinking, sexual activity, average amount of physical exertion, and eating habits, he placed the clip board aside. After measuring her on the scale (and grimacing at a small gain), she finally was sat down to come to the topic of the matter.

"So, Rinoa, now that formalities are over, what can I do for you today?" And then the anxiety rose through her body in a wave that swelled to the very tips of her fingers.

"Well, Dr. Reynolds...I've felt rather sick the past couple of days..." He pulled out his clipboard again and started writing in an illegible, inelegant scratch.

"Elaborate, what sort of symptoms?"

"Well, nausea, I've been throwing up." she looked at her feet.

"And?"

"I've been exhausted."

"Not so uncommon for a woman with a job. What else?"

"I'm sore everywhere. And my cramps are much worse than usual." As a professional, the doctor did not cringe. "And this throwing up, it's been happening...a lot in the morning."

"So you feel...that you're pregnant?" He raised his eyebrow to look at her. She suddenly felt less comfortable.

"Well, yes, I do." She could not look him in the eye and instead played with the frills on her stupid, bright uniform.

"You told me that you've recently become sexually active, with only one partner. Has this been unprotected?" Rinoa felt a weight in her stomach grow. Oh, how uncomfortable she felt.

"Well, yes but -"

"Has it been frequent?" Dr. Reynolds interrupted.

"It was but you have to listen to me, Dr. Reynolds, Seifer is sterile! He was diagnosed as sterile years ago, when he was really young, could it even be possible?" She blurted it out. The doctor set aside his chart and met the eyes of a concerned young woman, begging for help in front of him.

"Ms. Heartilly, medicine has advanced since your boyfriend was told he was sterile. Because his body was in such a young state, his diagnosis could easily have changed along with his body as early as puberty. The human body changes, as do the conditions. Doctors at the time may have simply assumed his sterility was assured, but this is actually a growing trend we've seen. Many men who were once diagnosed as sterile are now finding out that they are actually quite fertile." As the doctor explained this, her heart sank.

"However Rinoa, it's also quite possible that the doctor who diagnosed Seifer was right. Sterility lost in accidents is normally irreversible, but sterility due to bodily malfunctions and errors can sometimes change. It's also possible that the stress of a new job and financial difficulties have taken a toll on your health. So what I'm going to do is order a blood test and take a urine sample. We can contact you within the next 48 hours with the results.

48 hours? This would be the longest forty-eight hours of her life. In forty-eight hours, Seifer would come home. And yet this was overshadowed by the fact that in forty-eight hours, her life could possibly change forever.


	8. White Wine

**Disclaimer: **_See previous chapters._

_Author's Note: I really want to get back on track with this, so I will try._

_Also, fair warning, __a lemon is ahead__. Skip if preferred. I've read more explicit, but not everyone appreciates a sexual scene. There will be a line break signaling the start and the chapter will end with said lemon. Perhaps it is more of a lime. _

Today was the day. Ah, yes, today was the day that resolution would come to Rinoa. First off, she would have Seifer again, in her bed and by her side. But this was pushed aside at the weight of a more mighty occurence. Any minute now, the phone would be ringing, and news would be given that would make her sleep like a baby or stay up for nights on end.

Why did doctors tell you, 'up to 48' hours? To instill a shred of hope that maybe, just maybe they would let you know your condition sooner than later? No, they take every second of the damn time they're given, and you better accept it. What would come first, the open of the door or the ring of the phone?

Rinoa's eyes switched from both. Her touchy attitude had most of the roommates on their toes. She didn't mean to give off a bad vibe, she merely wanted to avoid any questioning, and any conflict. She merely sat at the kitchen table, by the door with the phone in front of her. Twirling her hair with an indifferent look upon her face, she observed her roommates out of the corner of her eye.

Selphie and Irvine were making some sort of strange plans to go to a gun range, because Selphie had challenged him. Irvine's manhood was not something he would so easily allow to be challenged. Rinoa witnessed Selphie try to lift his gun, and stumble forward with the weight. She crossed her fingers that the safety was on. Squall seemed to also be observing the two roommates.

She wished she could be happy with them as well. But alas, her and Squall had a somber aura.

And to think, just a week or two prior, Rinoa was anticipating her life with her roommates. If the doctor told her a certain confirmation, this would all change. Concern and focus would be on her, tensions would rise, disappointments and change would be dealt with. Just as her water joined the river, the river changed it's course.

Watching her socially-orientated slice of life slip away through her fingers, like sand through the open fingers of a child, she felt sick. Nauseas. But not the physical nausea she had been experiencing. A mental nausea that she wanted to vomit up, get out of her system, and be done with. Taking the cordless phone, she exited the house and sat on the back porch. She wasn't ready to face Seifer, especially not with what she had to offer him. She almost felt guilt run it's course through her body, and sunk her head between her knees. Behind her, the sliding door opened, and she felt the presence and heat of a roommates legs inches away from her back. Leaning her face on her knee, she tried not to look as upset as she had, but it did not succeed.

"What seems to be the matter?" A husky, cold masculine tone asked that could only be pegged as Squall.

"Me. I'm what's the matter." She lifted her eyes to meet his. They were a cold, ice blue, but the curved concern of them could not be mistaken as anything but warm. He slid the door closed behind him.

"That sounds rather dismal. Why do you feel that way?" He sat next to her on the small cement block that jutted out from the door. The blinds fell back to their place, and all the other roommates were shut out from the conversation. Rinoa picked up a stick and broke the little twigs off it, dropping them on the ground. She wasn't willing to look Squall in the eye. She wasn't comfortable with sharing this burden with anyone.

"I messed up, I really messed up." She started drawing designs on the cement in front of her, designs that never appeared. Resting her chin on her palm, she finally glanced over to him, and to her relief, he was looking in the far off distance.

"How so, how did you mess up?" His voice was flat, but there was some sort of comfort in it. Rinoa looked at the same, far off place he was looking. Then she turned her face. Her eyes started to fill up, but she took a deep, inaudible breath to prevent her own voice from cracking.

"I'm so young, I'm so careless, I'm so...foolish." The crack in her voice had happened, and Squall's head quickly turned to look at her, but gazed off into the distance upon seeing she was hiding it.

"You know, you can tell me...I don't really talk all that much to begin with." It seemed to be hard for him to reach out a hand like that, but the simple gesture was the crevice in her dam to make it burst.

"He's going to be so mad at me, Squall. He's going to be so mad." She buried her face in her hands and let out a soft whimper. She was crying now, and she knew he was fully aware. "I'm so embarassed."

He nudged her a little, and she only looked at him with her periphreal vision and sniffed.

"I'm sure you didn't mess up that bad...look at me. What, you're not going to let me see you cry? It's what women do. Don't be embarassed." She wiped her tears away, and looked off again.

"I-I so much wish I was like you, Squall." Her voice was returning to normal.

"Oh, no you don't. Trust me, you don't." He almost laughed after his sentence, but it was the kind of laugh that hurt and came with admittance.

"No, no, I do. I wish I was so adult. I wish I saw through all the things I started. I wish people would take me seriously and I actually helped give something to the world. I have nothing to give." She had stopped crying, but her voice still let on that she was uneasy.

"You do have something to give. You make a lot of your roommates happy, you give them a lot of laughter. And what do I give them? I give people nothing, no bit of my soul and no proof of my thought. But you give yourself so openly...it is I, that has reason to be envious of you, Rinoa." He turned to look at her. After a few moments of silence, and all evidence of her tears gone, she could look at him too. Maybe, he didn't want his solitude...maybe he was just lonely.

"Thank you, Squall." He didn't smile, or didn't acknowledge it. He just looked at her, seeming to hold no interest whatsoever. But she smiled at him, just so he would know she meant it. She laughed a little. "Do I look all beat up, now?"

"No, no. I can't even tell you broke down. Your eyes are still..." In mid-conversation, the door slid open. Rinoa turned to see that it was Seifer, and she jumped up with joy.

"Seifer! You're home, finally!" She jumped through the blinds and tackled him. He wrapped his arms around him, and kissed her with passion that was built up for two weeks. With his gloved hand on the small of her back, she recoiled and wrinkled her nose. "And you taste like whiskey."

"Open bar on the train back, and god knows I needed it, dealing with these two." He pointed to the other two missing roommates who walked in and dropped their bags. Quistis exaggerated a stretch and yawn before a leaping Selphie gathered her and Zell in a big hug. Both Zell and Quistis gave uncomfortable expressions, but gave up on them at the excitement of finally being home. Soon enough, Selphie, Zell, Irvine, and Quistis were all sitting at the kitchen table. Zell and Quistis were telling the other two about the camp life and their missions. Squall was eavesdropping from a close lounge chair with a paper open.

Meanwhile, Rinoa and Seifer had headed up to the room. At first, they chatted. Rinoa bounced onto the bed and spoke, "Tell me everything!"

Seifer laughed and held her hand.

"It was an easy mission, like I said, and you had no reason to worry. You know what I find a much better topic?"

"What?" Rinoa giggled.

"Dare I ask what that yellow frock over there is, and may I see you in it?" Rinoa sighed, for that frock was not a very good, cheerful topic of conversation.

"That's my work uniform, for the diner." A grin from Seifer grew on his face until it seemed to stretch the entire thing.

"Please...please put it on." Rinoa playfully punched him with a serious look on her face.

"No! You're going to make fun of me!"

"Oh...noo...I'm sure I'll find it...quite sexy." His sarcasm dripped off his sentence, and Rinoa pushed him again and kissed him.

"You'd find me putting a uniform on sexy?" Their faces were so close that their noses almost touched.

"Perhaps. But I find you taking things off much, much sexier." He grabbed her by her hips and rolled on top of her, giving her short kisses trailing down her neck, and up again until he found her lips. He kissed them and held the side of his face, and each motion of his mouth made him kiss more firm, and more passionately. His hand soon left her face, and grazed down her body. It took a firm hold on the side of her waist.

Rinoa reached her hands around Seifer's neck and pulled her closer to him. Every time he exhaled, she could taste the whiskey. His breaths grew deeper, and soon her problems were completely off her mind as she preoccupied herself with the body that she had missed. It was an easy move, to slip off his jacket.

While Rinoa was enjoying the foreplay, Seifer's kisses got rougher. His hands were more firm on her body. Perhaps a man's longing for a woman is stronger than a woman longing for a man.

It didn't take him long to slide off her tank top over her head. The weight of his entire body was pressed against her and she found it hard to breathe. When he was once so tender, this was a violent kind of love that she was unaccustomed to. And still, he breathed deeper, and was quick to unbutton her pants.

"Seifer, slow down. I want to enjoy this. After all, you just got home." She whispered, to avoid the roommates from hearing.

"I missed you, Rinoa, I missed you a lot." Was all he said breathily, his lips not detaching from hers. It was as if he was in another world. Completely lost in another world with her body. He soon had her unclothed. When she reached to turn off the lights he pinned her arm down. It wasn't rough, but it wasn't exactly gentle either. And much less gently, much less tender than before, he thrusted into her. While his moan was one of pleasure, she produced a slight sigh of pain. He did all the working, while she tried to relax her muscles to reduce the pain she felt.

It was the first time that she didn't erupt with pleasure as he did. And when he was done, he dropped on the bed beside her. He heavily, almost sleepily slung his arm around her. For once, she felt that they had not made love. They merely had sex. After a few minutes of laying beside her, it seemed that he had fallen asleep. Rinoa sighed and got dressed. She felt a little used, but not hurt. It had been a while since he had been home. He deserved her when he wanted, and however he wanted. She sat on the bed beside him, and ran her fingers through her hair, resting on her neck.

As long as he's happy.

She tried to lay down and relax too, but it was nagging at her. But looking over and seeing him there was enough comfort for her to still be happy. She had almost forgotten about her troubles completely.

That is, until the phone rang.


	9. Milk

**Disclaimer: **:l

_Author's Note: I project that this story will be about 25-30 chapters long. Please don't think that the proceeding chapter is what the story revolves around, and especially don't think that it is the climax of the story. Thank you._

_And to dear Trevor X, who has not yet experienced alcohol, I will give a summary of the need-to-know information. It is bad. _

_Milk. For a growing child bones, for a lost soul trying to find solace and sleep._

__

The phone rang again. Her stomach dropped, for this situation she had neglected to mentally prepare herself, after being caught up with Seifer. He was still sleeping, but with less comfort after hearing the ring. He was stirring. Quickly she grabbed the phone, and placed the receiver up to her mouth. This was hard to do, with trembling hands. She fumbled once or twice.

Taking a deep breath, she hit 'talk' and spoke.

"H-Hello?"

"Hello, Ms. Heartilly?"

"Yes...this is Rinoa."

"We have the results to your blood and urine tests." Her heart rate increased. Her palms were already sweating, and the combination with the trembling was making the phone almost impossible to hold. She held it between her face and her shoulder, and rubbed her palms together. "It seems that your hCG levels are around 50 mlU/ml, as shown in our qualitative and quantitative tests."

"And what does that mean?"

"It means that you're pregnant, Ms. Heartilly."

Oh, her head was spinning. She hadn't thought of hearing the words before. She had blocked that portion out of her mind before it got there. What had she done, what had she done. She seemed to be fading out to the world around here until she realized, the voice on the other end had not stopped.

"..so we'll need to see you in our office immediately to get you started on pre-natal vitamins. Don't worry, Rinoa, we'll take great care of you for the next nine months."

Nine months, nine months. How was she going to tell Seifer? Not only was he very much fertile, she would have to tell him that his fertility had done the trick. Her hand jolted to her stomach.

A baby. A real live baby, growing inside her. A part of her felt warm, felt full. Another part however, felt completely frightened, and completely scared.

"Also, we would like to see the father in the office to describe to him exactly how he has healed and to examine him. Congratulations, Ms. Heartilly."

Congratulations. What did she need a congratulations for? For getting knocked up? For ruining her good name? For trapping Seifer and herself in a future that they were much too young for?

The other end of the phone, as if hearing her, clicked off. She slowly lowered the phone from her ear. A baby. A child. Not only was she going to have a living being inside her, she would be taking care of him for eighteen years, at least. She would take the child to school. She would watch them suffer puberty, heart break. She would make their lunches, help pay for their first car. She was going to be a mother, a real mother.

Fuck, she didn't even know what to do. Her mother was dead, and Seifer's might as well have been. She had left home when he was very young. How did mothers act?

"Who was that?" She heard a lazy, sluggish tone from her partner.

"Prank call, or something." She sighed as he probably had not heard her, for he started snoring immediately after. Rinoa was still sitting up, tense as can be, when she heard a knock at the door.

"Yes?" Her voice almost came up as raspy, but she cleared her throat immediately.

"Hey, Rin, do you and Seifer want to go out and celebrate at the bar tonight?" It was Zell, and Rinoa sighed. There would be no more drinking for a long time. Seifer seemed to perk up, a little bit.

"Yes, Zell, that's fine." He called, in a half-yawn. He nearly fell back to sleep again, after hearing Zell's exiting steps, but Rinoa stopped him.

"I'm not going out tonight." She said flatly, finally placing the phone on the receiver. He opened one eye.

"Why not, Rin? C'mon, we just got home."

"I…just don't feel the need to, is all." He was looking at her, but she was playing with her hands.

"It's not really a need that needs to be satiated. It's a want. Do you WANT to drink tonight?" He sat up, knowing that he wasn't going to sleep if he planned on going to the bar.

"No, Seifer, I do not want to drink tonight. You, go ahead." She had an irritated tone in her voice, but that wasn't going to stop Seifer from partying up with his friends. He had just got home, it should be okay. But Rinoa also felt that this excuse wasn't going to hold up after a while.

"We just got back from a two-week mission, and you're not even going to join the festivities? You don't even have to drink while you're there." Rinoa bit her lip and considered it. Quickly, she rejected the idea. With a light flutter of her fingertips across her stomach, she knew a smoke-filled bar with rowdy men drinking would only lead to trouble.

"I have work in the morning, I'd rather get a good nights sleep." Before Seifer could finish, she slipped into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, shutting her eyes. No, the bar was an awful idea. As an adult, as a mother-to-be, she needed to prioritize. Forgetting her problems with company was much less mature than facing and evaluating them.

So rather than argue with Seifer, she turned on the bath water. Running her hands underneath, she felt the warmth and started to undress while it ran. She simply could not wait to take a bath. She heard Seifer rustling to get ready, and very soon heard the slam of the door as the roommates left. The car started up, but by now this was a muffled sound as Rinoa sank into the warm depths.

She looked down at her pale, smooth stomach. It had not yet started to protrude, but it seemed different from her. She poked it, and it didn't _seem _like a future human being had found it's nest in there. Ah, but it had.

Rinoa did not know why she didn't tell Seifer why she did not want to drink. She already was taking the precautions to preserve the youth that she had created.

Slowly but surely, as she washed her hair, she felt like she was rinsing out all the negativity of the entire situation. The intonation changed the sentence entirely. She could angrily state, _I'm having a baby._

But she could state in a tone fulfilled more with wonder, and amazement.

_I'm having a baby._

Already, she felt some sort of idea sprouting within her. An idea that really, she may just have a teensy bit of love for this new life. This was a tiny piece of her and Seifer. A physical manifestation of their love. As much as she tried not to, she couldn't help but feel a little less negativity.

After this small revelation, she felt a little more relieved. Also, she knew that once she exited the bathroom, there would be no one to dodge questions from. They were all out at the bar, and she had the house for herself. It was time for a novel. For she no longer had to entirely focus on the situation. She would tell Seifer when she was better prepared. Besides, she was exhausted. It was a good excuse to relax.

After grabbing a small novel that she had previously read multiple times, she put on a fuzzy robe, and her hair in a towel. As she was about to plop onto the couch, she noticed someone was already sitting on it.

"O-Oh. Hello Squall." She stammered, and blushed a light pink before tightening her robe. Looking around the room, she sat opposite in a lounge chair. Curling up, she held a pillow in front of her. His eyes never broke from the news on T.V.

"Riots, Riots everyday in Galbadia. He shut off the television, but still watched the screen. "The entire country probably smells like tear gas by now."

"It's a shame, really." She picked at her cuticles, but she didn't really focus on the conversation. She had her own war to deal with at the moment. "Why aren't you drinking?"

He looked at her blankly. Taking a sip of his milk, he broke contact for only a second.

"…I'm on probation." He placed the glass down and looked back to her, crossing her arms. Her mouth was a flat line, accompanied by a head-tilt and bigger eyes.

"What? Really! You!" She leaned forward a little. His face seemed unaffected, indifferent.

"Stupid questions deserve stupid answers. I never drink, Rinoa." Rinoa furrowed her eyebrows and stuck her tongue out at him. What a surprising smartass. But she what she concentrated on mostly, was how he said her name.

Squall, being a quiet guy, normally did not have much to say. When he did speak, however, she found herself completely enraptured and infatuated with what he said. It was a new tone, a new voice that was saying her name. The husky undertones to the voice.

She often heard the shrill 'Rin!' of Selphie's voice coming from the living room, which caused her shoulders to raise and goosebumps to rise. She often heard the same nickname whispered in her ear by Seifer, in which she responded with a giggle and the fair hairs on her neck to stand on end.

But not often, and not unless it was spoken by her father, did she hear her whole name. Yet some how, coming from Squall it did not intimidate her or irritate her so. It sounded much nicer, being almost surreptitiously slipped into conversation. The roll of the 'R,' the curl of the mouth upon the 'o.'

Perhaps, when she had children, she would sweetly call them their name, the entirety of it in a tone that spoke of love and not demands. This made her recall that the time for that would soon be upon her. With another lightning fast movement, her hand went to her stomach.

She was saddened, for a moment. How would someone like Squall, like any of the roommates, view her after this? As an irresponsible teenage girl, not fit to be a mother?

"Something the matter?" Squall's gaze, was as always, distant. He seemed to have quite the problem keeping eye contact often. Only a few times, had her dark eyes met his crisp, brisk eyes. Normally, for only a mere second. It seemed that even without his eyes observing his surroundings, he could sit quiet like a cat. Upon hearing the change of sound, or feeling the change of atmosphere, he could immediately identify it.

"How do you seem to know?" She managed a meek, shy smile. It was a courtesy, to change the situation from a serious inquiry to a joke. To digress to a more light topic than the one he would surely encounter with an honest answer. With a slow gait, she tip-toed on the cold linoleum floor of the kitchen, glancing over at him occasionally, as to await a response. She was pulling out a glass when she heard the deep-tone. It sounded quiet, though only a few feet away.

"Just a feeling." She was pouring herself a glass of milk as well, being that most of the beverages in the sticky fridge contained some sort of alcohol. Acknowledging that the events of the day were rather exhausting, she put the glass in the microwave. Leaning back on the counter, she hit start, and dropped her head back.

"Do you get these sorta visions for everyone in the house?" A small smile to herself, she watched the glass go round and round. As usual, there were a few seconds before a response.

"…No, you're just very obvious." Rinoa imagined that if Squall genuinely smiled often, now would be a time that he released a grin of triumph. She put on a façade of fake defensiveness, and asked in an appalled tone.

"Oh really? I'm just that easy to read?" The seconds were counting down from the minute she had originally started the microwave with.

_40.…39...38..._

"Please do not change the subject. What is the matter?"

_25...24.…23..._

"If I'm easy to read, why don't you tell me."

_18...17...16..._

He paused before he responded. "If I had to guess, regarding our previous conversation, I would say something critical has happened to you and Seifer, as a result of moving in together. Now he is upset, which is why you are not accompanying them drinking."

_8...7...6..._

"Interesting theory, Squall."

"Am I right?"

_2...1...00:00_

"Sorta."

''_You don't even know the half of it.'_


	10. Labatt

**Disclaimer: GTFO!**

_Author's note: As it is my first day off work since the 11th__, I have written two future chapters and I am starting this one. Wish me luck! Also, aside from working at Denny's I'm working at gamestop, in which they're having a SUPER sale going on right now. Y'all should go._

_Boy or girl, decide, decide, my reviewers._

_And thank you Angel Avery for continuing to review!_

_Beer. Whether it's for irresponsible college boys, or fathers coming home from work._

_

* * *

_

Rinoa had been laying quietly upon her mattress when Seifer returned home. She was not yet asleep, however, as there was a million ideas running through her body that she could still feel the tingle of her fingertips. Though Seifer had silently shut the door and shed his clothes, she heard every rustle. When he slipped under the covers with her, she flinched.

His skin was rather cold, and the stubble from not shaving gave a little tickle. But the breath, oh how it reeked of whiskey. Kissing him would be like taking a shot for herself. He put his mouth up to her ear.

"Awake, eh?" He whispered subtly, making the smell even stronger. She could not wait for the next morning when he would be whiskey-free and go back to his natural, earth smell.

"Yes." Her voice was quiet, but a little squeaky. Perhaps he had the right idea about whispering. She turned to face him, and she could see the bright green eyes even with only the moonlight illuminating the room. She rested her hand on his face, and rubbed her thumb against the grain of his stubble. "Seifer?"

"Yeah, Rin?" The words were a tad slurred, but she heard them nonetheless. Maybe she shouldn't drop the bomb on him just yet. But a little nudge and foreshadowing wouldn't hurt the situation. She was curious on how he would react to holding an infant son, or daughter. It was thoughts like this that caused her to be side-tracked. Would it be a boy, would it be a girl? What would she name it?

"Seifer…do you think that I'm like, the one for you?" His eyes met hers and his expression yielded no answer. It was still the slovenly look of a man who spent too much time away from home, and at a bar.

"Yeah, yeah Rin, I do." He put his arm around her.

"No, no, I'm serious Seifer. You know, there's this theory. All humans in the beginning of time were just one human with two sets of everything. Legs, arms, you name it. And then, since the gods above saw that humans were getting too powerful, he split 'em all in two. And ever since, each person is constantly looking for their other half so they could feel whole again. Do you really, honestly think that you can spend every day with me, until the day you die?" He seemed to be fading in and out of the conversation.

"It's a great bedtime story, babe. But not too logical, so I may have to disregard that theory. As for the other part, yes, I think I could spend every day with me, until I die. Which won't be too long from now if I don't get some sleep. Man, I'm going to be hurting tomorrow." Rinoa sighed, and kissed him while ignoring the strong taste of alcohol.

She was content with the answer. As long as she knew he could spend every day with her, she knew that they could raise a child. They had so much love for each other, it seemed to spill over, and it would be enough for any child they had.

She needed to tell him, but he was already asleep. Now was simply not the time. But tomorrow, tomorrow she will. Afterall, she didn't have that much of a choice. He too, needed to go to the doctor. And he needed to be in a state that was not paralysis due to shock.

How would you go about telling something like this? How do you tell someone that their life is about to drastically change and every future decision to be made will have a new variable to decide for?

Rinoa listened to the soft snore of the man she loved, and buried herself deep beneath the pink sheets. She moved closer to him to feel his warmth. Reaching behind her, she grasped his hand. It was rough from the wisdom of work. Hard, aggressive SeeD work. She placed it on her stomach, to let him get the first feel of his newborn child.

With the father of her child's arms wrapped around her, she felt soothed, and soon fell asleep.

Upon waking up, Seifer was still snoring like a grizzly bear. She knew that today would be the day that he found out he was going to be a father. The words still felt strange on her tongue. Mother, father, child. During her bath she repeated the words to herself.

The idea hadn't completely sunken in yet. It was her prime concern, her first thought when she woke up. She looked at her slim stomach and wondered when she would start to show. What would she look like with a big round belly on her small physique? The slender skin stretching from her breasts to below her navel would soon be the environment for a youthful infant, a new life.

Perhaps this was the best thing she could offer, in her life. She was fulfilling her duties as a human, afterall. But she still had lingering doubts. Was she even responsible enough to create a productive member of society? She had decided long ago, that the goal for her child would be to improve his or her life by fifty percent of what her own was. And my, the bar was set rather low. General Caraway had offered her a lot of money, a lot of things, but that isn't what she wanted. She wanted time, she wanted someone to make her eggs and bacon when she woke up, someone to read her a story before she fell asleep. If anything, General Caraway had told her how not to raise a child, and at least she was aware.

Ah, but Julia. Julia had died much too young. Rinoa was positive though, that her mother was great, even if she didn't remember all that vividly. Julia had died when she was almost five, after a car crash. Now that night, Rinoa remember exact, verbatim, in all detail.

* * *

'_I don't know what you're talking about, Caraway.' Julia had said it in a cold voice, that still managed to drip with venom despite the beauty in it._

'_Don't fucking lie to me Julia, don't you dare fucking lie to me. You still miss him and it's bullshit. He's NEVER coming back.'_

_Unbeknownst to the couple, small Rinoa Caraway was sitting outside the kitchen door, sitting on a lounge chair. She was picking thread off the cushions, though her mother constantly told her not to. She was tired of loud voices, she was tired of mean words that made her cringe._

'_Don't you think I know that? And besides, you have it all wrong. I don't miss him. He-He's gone.' Her mother's voice had dropped in assertiveness, but was still clearly upset. Rinoa tapped her fingers on the chair impatiently. _

'_I found your letters to him.'_

'…_.'_

"_Yeah, that's right. I found your fucking letters to him, and I read every last one of them.' Caraway's voice had dropped in volume, and the sound of his footsteps grew closer._

'_H-How dare you.' Julia stated, stomping her foot. She heard quicker footsteps. 'Don't touch me!'_

'_How dare I? Are you even asking that? How dare YOU! I welcome you into my home, into luxury and this is how I'm repaid. You're obsessed with a fucking soldier who never gave a damn about you, and who's probably dead.' There was the sound of breaking glass. There was the sound of faster footsteps, of backing up and of a quiet sob._

'_Don't say that!' The voice was shrill, not at all the musical symphony that usually erupted from those vocal chords. _

'_This is exactly what I mean. You're still in love with him aren't you? You don't love me at all, huh?" She heard a stumble, and fall over a chair._

'_I married you, and I gave you a daughter. How can you say that?' There was another readjustment of the chair. Rinoa peeked in the swinging kitchen door. Caraway was climbing up. She looked at her mother, who's arm was resting on the table, and one covering her mouth, to quiet the sobs that didn't seem to stop coming._

'_Yeah, I was second best. You'll never love me like you loved him. No matter how much I buy you, no matter how well I treat you.' Julia's eyes were closed but a stream of tears still steadily flowed, moving around her fingers and down her wrists._

_Julia's voice, after a deep breath was calm and cold when she replied, without whimper or stutter or sob._

"_I don't give a damn what you buy me, Caraway.' Her voice started to raise. 'I don't give a damn about this house, I don't give a damn about your car.'_

_She started to throw things. 'I don't want these stupid vases. I don't want this stupid china, or these stupid wineglasses. I don't even want this stupid ring anymore.'_

_The ring that she threw hit his chest and fell to the floor with a clear, and almost echoing sound._

'_If you really loved me, you would take a week off of your stupid 'job,' and spend time with your family. You wouldn't worry about buying us things. I haven't seen you in our room in weeks. No matter what you do, until you start showing your face around us, you'll never be loved like he was.'_

_Julia turned and stormed out. Rinoa quickly moved out of the way of the door, but not before seeing Caraway's face, with mouth agape and eyebrows furrowed. Julia was wiping away tears when she emerged. She sat on a chair facing Rinoa. _

_That image Rinoa remembered. Julia's arm slung carelessly on top of her knees. Her eyes red from crying, but a small smile gracing her perfect features still. _

'_Are we still going for ice cream, Ma?' Julia laughed in an exhale, that still had the tone of previous tears, and closed her eyes._

'_Not tonight, Rinoa. Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll take you. Right now, I just need to be alone.' Julia picked up her purse and grabbed the car keys. Before leaving, she reached down, and kissed Rinoa on the forehead. The faint smell of a floral perfume, the warm arm wrapped around her, the residual wetness on Rinoa's skin from Julia's crying. And Julia's singsong voice as she said her final words._

'_I love you, little one.' And with one graceful movement, the movement as light as a ghost, she swept out the door. It was only a few seconds, and Rinoa's ears picked up every song. The start of the car, the too-fast acceleration, and the car that took the life from Julia's eyes and lungs. Rinoa had run outside. Her bare feet met the dampness of pavement met with a previous rain. _

_And there she saw her mother. Arm again, slung carelessly outside the window of the car. As Rinoa ran up to the car, with Caraway running behind her, the picture was becoming more clear. The blood looked silver under the illuminated street lamp. The body, limp. Rinoa had just grasped a hand that still felt warm when Caraway lifted her and took her away from the wreckage. _

_

* * *

_

Rinoa's recollection was interrupted by a series of knocks on the door.

"Rinoa, I have to get in there! It's an emergency!" Selphie's voice rang high and alerted. Rinoa grumbled and opened the drain, dressing in a towel and robe before exiting. Selphie screeched a 'thanks!' before running in and slamming the door. Again, Rinoa was alone with Seifer, who seemed jolted because of the slam.

"Good morning, angel." He said, in a groggy voice that was almost incoherent while he stretched. She smiled and bounded on the bed next to him.

"Good morning, Seifer." She kissed him on the head and he laid back down on the pillow.

"So are you going to actually spend time with me today, instead of staying home and being a wet blanket?" Rinoa's nerves tinged a little but she just smiled a little bit.

"I fully intend on spending the day with you, Seifer." She said with a little smile. Little did he know, she had her heart set on visiting the doctor's today.

"Then what do you want to do?" He asked. Oh, he had set her up. She could just say she wanted to go to the doctor's because she was pregnant. Just blurt it all out right now. But that seemed impossible. When she opened her mouth, it felt dry. No, she wouldn't do it that way.

"Well, what do _you want to do today?" She asked sweetly. She was stumbling over words._

"_How about I take you to a very expensive restaurant for lunch, and then we bring a bottle of champagne back home, and celebrate right here." He motioned to the bed, and Rinoa leaned in and kissed him._

"_You're so sweet, baby….but no good." Seifer tilted his head a little._

"_That sounded like a very good plan, to me." Looking at his confused face, she had decided now was the only time, the only chance she really had._

"_You see Seifer, I don't think we should treat ourselves to a fancy lunch, we should save our money. And champagne, that is completely out of the question." Seifer's face frowned, and the look of confusion had not yet evaporated._

"_I don't get it. Why not? Why should we save our money? I earned it for a reason, so we can spend it." She took a deep breath._

"_Because…we're going to need it when the baby comes." His face did not yield an expression. She was sure alarm was shown clearly on hers. His eyes looked back and forth across the room._

"_What baby? Who's baby is coming here?" His voice was quick, and dumbfounded. Rinoa wanted to slap her hand on her forehead. But instead, she looked at him and smiled weakly._

"_Our baby is." His face was still expressionless for a few seconds. His eyes started to grow wide, so wide that she felt any second they could fall out. He sat up a little bit, and shook his head._

"_Rinoa, I don't know what delusions you're having, but need I remind you of something. I am not fertile enough to produce a child. I'm actually the opposite." He looked at her with eyes still wide. His speech was slow. She could almost see the synapses at work._

"_Well, that's what I told the doctor-"_

"_You went to a doctor and didn't tell me? How long have you known?" He started to get angry. He rested his face in his palms and seemed to have went pale._

"_Less than 24 hours, I swear! The doctor said we can come in, he can test you to prove your fertility, and check on the baby." He looked at her, and the anger was rising with him. She could almost feel the heat radiated off his body._

"_You say that like we agreed to keep the thing." He spewed, standing up from the bed. Rinoa crossed her arms. She took offense. This was no longer a thing to her. This was her child growing inside her. Her baby, her life-long commitment._

"_For one, it is not a 'thing,' it is a child. And for two, what are you suggesting?" She squinted at him and her breathing got heavy. She too was getting rather upset. Why didn't he see the wonderment of this, how amazing this was? _

"_We didn't even talk about any options yet. God damn it, I found out three fucking minutes ago, that I'm going to be a father, and you already decided to keep it?"_

"_Seifer, I can tell you that I'm already fully aware of what my options are, and that I'm opposed to abortion."_

"_I didn't necessarily say abortion, have you even thought about adoption?" Rinoa was silenced. No, she hadn't. But she knew that she couldn't. By now, she had accepted it was fate. It was fate that had planned this child. And as she let this miracle grow for the next 9 months, she would not be able to let it go. All this thinking had already made her decision for her._

"_Seifer, I am keeping this baby." She said in almost a whisper. Her heart jumped with joy, after feeling the finality. This baby would be hers. She was slowly but surely, falling in love with it already._

"_God damn it, this shouldn't just be your decision! I should get fucking say in it too!" He pounded his fist in the wall. She shuddered, but managed to keep her composure. And with the voice of Julia, she too made a remark that would make him ache._

"_Seifer, this is happening, this is real. And this baby is coming, whether you choose to be a part of it's life or not." She could tell it had hit him. He bit his lip and looked around the room in a frenzy. He quickly started getting dressed._

"_I can't deal with this right now, Rin. I'll be back later." He slammed the door and Rinoa shook._

_Well, that hadn't exactly went as smooth as she had wanted it._

_But what she had said hit her too. This is real. This baby is coming._


	11. Rum

Disclaimer: _**Initially, I was going to say something vulgar. Rather, I'll say, I do not own Final Fantasy VIII and I make no money off this fan fiction.**_

_**Ah, gotta love a 7-day work week, huh? As a high school student, I am envied as Denny's Waitress and Gamestop Game Advisor, as those venues are frequented. Alas, it is a sad, hard life.**_

_**Again, thanks to Angel Avery for her enthusiasm. I very much appreciate it.**_

_**Also, apologies on the aesthetics of the chapters. I hadn't been noticing that they look goofy online. Thanks a lot WPS! :(  
**_

* * *

_Rum - a beverage produced from fermented sugar. To warm and sweeten your spirits with ease._

Rinoa had been waiting, waiting, waiting. She was running her conversation with Seifer back and forth through her mind. She had felt slightly offended, that he would want to rid her body of a human being. Not only that, a human being that they had created. Rubbing her stomach, she felt a swell in her heart that she never felt before. She felt a love. A love that was growing with every cell division.

If her love was this evident already, how strong would it be after she carried her child to full-term? Too strong to be able to put it up for adoption. This was hers, and she knew deep down, this would always be hers. She could not terminate it, or give her responsibilities away. Her own child.

But how she wished Seifer would agree.

Rinoa put on jeans, that immediately felt different, almost snug. Perhaps it was a placebo effect. She knew she needed a walk, to clear her head. Seifer was probably drinking already. Now this was an idea that truly upset her. It put such a fury into her head that her fists clenched white. She was stressed too, didn't he understand that? But she wasn't going around drinking (even though that would be an especially awful idea in her situation). She was merely taking a walk.

After slipping on a sweater, as the air was growing brisk with the transition of seasons, she headed out of her room. She evaded the roommates with curt, short answers. Soon, they would need to know what was going on as well. Then again she could act normal around them. Ah, but how were things ever going to be normal again? Rinoa would be the only one of her friends who was a mother. Who could relate to that?

Besides good ol' Quistis. She was used to mothering the group of them. Perhaps Rinoa could use her guidance through all of this. Cooking, cleaning. Someone like Quistis was already prepared to be a mother.

It hurt her a little bit to say that. It wasn't a kind thought to admit that her friend would do better at a task that she received. Rinoa would commit herself to learn the skills to provide for her child within the next 9 months.

After closing the door silently behind her, she started her walk at a fast pace with her hands in her pocket. The wind tossed her hair lightly, but it felt good after how heated up she had been. The prevalent thought on her mind was still Seifer.

What if he did choose not to be a part of her child's life? Or of hers? What if this is something that he really can't handle? I guess it was ignorant to dream he would be a doting boyfriend and father. He had a life to. She couldn't expect him to drop it for something that he didn't want, and she did.

She was looking down on the ground when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Quickly, she turned around, a little bit fearful. When she saw it was Squall, she was relieved. Placing her hand on her heart, she exhaled, laughing.

"Give me a heart attack, why don't you!" He didn't smile or really respond, as he was taking his ear buds out, and pocketing his mp3 player. Rinoa glanced at his attire. Gray sweatpants and a white t-shirt, damp from perspiration.

"Wasn't my intention." He sniffed, meeting her eyes. "Exercising?"

"Nawh, just a little walk to clear things up." She raised an eyebrow. "But obviously, you were jogging. Didn't mean to interrupt."

"I'm actually in middle of a cool down. Giving the lactic acid a rest." He started to walk at a slower pace and she walked alongside him. "You have _another_ problem, I'm assuming?"

"The same one just growing." She responded in a flat tone. But I suppose with her mood swings, anyone would think she was problematic. "I don't really feel like talking about it."

"I wasn't going to ask." She glanced over, but their eyes never met. He was looking straight ahead, and she continued looking at the ground.

"How convenient." She muttered, stuffing her hands farther in her pocket, with a little shiver. She paused in her steps. "I think I'm going to head home, it's a little cold."

"Already resolved your problems with that quick walk?" He raised an eyebrow, stopping to face her.

"It's going to take a lot of walks to resolve this one." She had intended to have some alone time, to figure her situation out. She had started to head back, and he called out to her.

"How long is it going to be until you spout out what your problem is?" She turned around and stuck her tongue out with him. Soon afterwards, however, she heard his footsteps following her.

"I don't have to spout out my problem, I'm fixing it myself." She started to walk faster. His footsteps increased a little bit too.

"Obviously you need help."

"No, I don't need any help. I can do this all by myself." Rinoa didn't want anyone's help, she wanted to deal with this herself. She couldn't rely on everyone else to fix her problems all the time. "Do I really look like I'm so distressed all the time? Like I need a therapist?"

"Not all the time. Lately, yes. Preoccupied. Weighted. You don't have to bear your damn soul to me, but talk to Quistis or Selphie or something. Whenever you mope…it just dampers my mood." Rinoa turned to him and he stopped abruptly, but not abruptly enough to avoid being inches away. She immediately broke eye contact.

"I'm sure you can rely on Selphie for cheerfulness in the house." Rinoa turned around to continue walking, but not at a fast, escaping pace.

"There's a difference between cheerful and annoying. Guess which one I interpret Selphie to be?" Rinoa laughed. There were points where Selphie was a little over the top. But perhaps she should confide in in Selphie or Quistis. Maybe they could relieve her, a little bit. Give her some kind of direction in which to pursue a course of action. She had enough confession for today, however. Tomorrow she would invite them out to lunch, and tell them.

She felt that by telling the world that she was indeed pregnant, she was finalizing it within herself. Over the past 24 hours she had felt some sort of maternal instinct awaken. She was in fact, keeping this child. No matter what Seifer or anyone else has to say. She had full faith that he would stick with her through this situation…he only needed time.

"Well…thanks, I guess." Rinoa said almost inaudibly. Squall merely kept his eyes forward and walked with her the rest of the way house. His silence was good. When he spoke, so profoundly and meaningfully, it was good too. He only spoke when he truly had something worth contributing. Not mindless babble. Enjoying the silence. "Squall?"

Although she called his name, he didn't have to glance over or not for her to know he was acknowledging her.

"Do you think we're…y'know…like, friends?" She had meant it earnestly. She wanted Squall to be her friend. He inquired about her welfare when it seemed that no one else was willing to go near her.

"I'd think that a status such as friendship isn't something to inquire about. If we weren't friends, I wouldn't be walking you home." He never met eye contact with her. Their feet finally met the walkway to the house. She was turning when she realized he kept going down the sidewalk. She had completely forgot that he had a jog to finish. One moment he's interested and inquisitive, the next he wants all the time he can alone. What a confusing creature, he was. But rather than comment, she waved goodbye and smiled. She couldn't tell if he even noticed as he ran past.

After entering the house, she laid on her bed, listening to the sound and roar of the roommates. It was comforting to hear love and camaraderie going on, merely feet below her. Especially comforting when it was feelings she was lacking at the exact moment. Focusing on the slight murmur of joy rising to her room, she fell asleep into a quiet cat nap.

Hours later, she awoke. It was now dusk, and she had waken up to the presence of Seifer. He was sitting on the bed next to her, stroking her hair. She turned to face him, and smiled when she saw he wasn't upset.

"Why, good morning, Princess. Nice of you to join us." His beautiful green eyes only met hers for an instance before he looked away. But it was long enough of an instance for her to feel her heart jump a beat.

"So you're not upset at me, anymore, Seifer?" She looked up with honest eyes as she had decided to cut to the chase. He again just focused with a distant gaze and caressed her hair slightly still.

"You caught me off guard, Rin. I wasn't ready. What were you thinking, bringing it up to me like that?" She slightly rose so she could look him in the eye, and apologetically smiled.

"I couldn't wait anymore, Seifer. Only you, me, and the doctor know. I just needed some answers, some relief." He put his hand on her face. His eyes were slightly glazed over, but she assumed it was a little bit from a bar visit. Or perhaps it was the gloss of sincerity.

"Make an appointment for the doctor's tomorrow. I'll go. But you know, Rin, I'm still not sure how I feel about keeping the baby. We're way too fucking young." He ran a hand through his golden hair and held his eyes closed, in a strain to think.

"Seifer, I don't know how else to go about this…I want it. I want it more than I've wanted anything. I don't know why. I'm sure a week ago I didn't feel the same. But now, knowing it's there…it's got to be mine. I want it so damn bad." She said this, looking straight at him. He wasn't good at the sentimental stuff, but something softened about him.

"Rinoa…you are so heart-breakingly adorable, at times like these." Rinoa wrinkled her nose at him.

"I'm telling you that I want a whining, screaming, child. And that's is supposed to be 'adorable?" Seifer chuckled lowly.

"You want something so adult…and explain it in such a childish manner. We really gotta work on your eloquence." He kissed her head and she relaxed it upon his shoulder. She had thought about it, and quickly jerked up a little bit.

"Are you saying we can keep it?" Her eyes glittered with enthusiasm.

"God damn, it's not a dog, Rinoa. It's a baby, get that through your head. And I know you're going to do whatever you want. I really wish you'd condone looking into some alternatives…"

"You're right, I am going to do what I want…and I want to keep it. But I also want your support. I want you to be there and…" she paused for a moment, and insecurely wrapped her arms around her stomach. "I want you to love it a little bit too."

"Of course I'm going to love it. Don't assume such ridiculous stuff just because I have a completely reasonable reaction to life-altering news, alright?" Looking into his eyes, she smiled. Then, that was it. Her child was coming. Rinoa had embraced the fact she was going to be a mother, but now Seifer had accepted he was going to be a father. She kissed him hard on the lips, and felt a small smile while she did it. There was not a hint of whiskey on his breath. It was sober carbon-dioxide when he exhaled, and at that moment she could not find a higher level of happiness. "And one thing, Rin."

"What?" She asked eagerly, ready to give him the world.

"Let's not spring the news on your dad like you did to me."

Shit. She hadn't thought about that at all yet.

"…do we even have to tell him?" She reluctantly asked, knowing the answer beforehand.

"No getting out of that one, Princess. I'll try to wait outside. I've heard how fathers react to this sort of news about their daughters."

"Smart thinking, Seifer."


	12. Pucker

**Disclaimer: I own only the plot and your soul.**

**I'm surprised at the fact I'm still writing, seeing that only Angel Avery feeds me! :3 I like yummy Review Thermidor.**

_Pucker - Sour and sweet, wrapped into one._

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Rinoa and Seifer both seemed to have the same readable expression at the doctor's. Completely and utterly bored to death. They had finished small talk, and now Rinoa was slouched in her chair in her giant brown coat, examining her hair and looking at the clock in between. Seifer was slouched, facing the opposite way, inspecting his finger nails. Seifer spoke first.

"Hyne, there aren't even any people here. What the hell are we waiting for?"

"I'm sure there are people in the actual rooms. Why are you so anxious?" It was very obvious he was anxious. She had seen the quick way his eyes darted around the room, and heard the audible 'tap tap tap' of his foot.

"Well gee, I dunno Rin. This is a FERTILITY test! For all I know, they could be putting a needle in my ball sack!" He looked at her with despair and Rinoa couldn't help but to burst out laughing.

"That is NOT how they do it Seifer!" She barely got the words out between her hearty laughs and he just grumpily looked straight ahead.

"How do YOU know? When's the last time someone checked on your sperm?"

"You really don't know how this goes?"

"No, and it's scary that you do!" He had his arms crossed. Rinoa let out another laugh before leaning forward and whispering the actually method in his ear. He jumped a little bit.

"No way, nuh-uh! I'm outta here!" Rinoa grabbed his arm before he made it to the door and with all her weight tried to drag him back to the seat.

"Seifer! C'mon! It's not that bad at all! In fact, if you look at it, it's sorta good!"

"I am NOT whacking off in the same room other creeps have whacked off! It's not going to be good! Especially when I have to aim it into a cup! I don't want to focus on my aim at times like these!" They must've caused quite a ruckus because the medical receptionist stood up and ordered for them to sit and quiet down. Seifer grumbled but Rinoa merely laughed. Who exactly were they quieting down for?

Ah, but that's not the way a mother should think. Of course Seifer shouting lewd things was inappropriate in a public setting. Rinoa toned herself down and pursed her lips. Soon, a doctor came in and they both went into separate rooms, Seifer grimacing the entire time.

Once Rinoa entered the room, it was much easier than last time. She knew what was wrong with her, and now she was just waiting for the doctor to confirm everything with her. Very soon, her walked in.

"Hello there, Ms. Heartilly." Dr. Reynolds opened the door. She was already sitting on top of the vinyl seat, swinging her legs and whistling.

"Good morning, Doctor Reynolds." She chirped, much less squeaky and insecure as their last meeting. He returned it with a smile, and looked down at his chart that she figured must never leave his hand.

"Congratulations. I understand that becoming a mother is a very stressful, but rewarding condition." Dr. Reynolds smiled at her and she lightly treaded her fingers across her stomach for the ten millionth time that day. "I'm also glad you came to the doctor as soon as your symptoms started to show. A lot of women prolong it and neglect to get proper pre-natal care."

"Thank you, Dr. Reynolds." Rinoa smiled, a little proud of herself too.

"There are some things I'd like to go over, before I give you your vitamins, however. But it'll be a short process, and by the time we're finished your boyfriend will be finished as well, most likely."

"You never know." Rinoa clucked. It was this statement that did earn her an eyebrow raise from the conservative doctor. But nevertheless, he continued.

"First of all, your signs showed very early, which sometimes is a sign of complicated or troublesome pregnancies. For example, you will get most symptoms rather than a few. Second of all, you're a rather slender young woman, and therefore there may be a chance of low birth weight or the requirement of a cesarean section." Doctor Reynolds then looked at Rinoa to gauge her reaction. She bit her lower lip and looked at the ground. It wasn't only her mind rebelling the idea of being a mother. Even her body was going to give her complications.

"So…the baby could be unhealthy?" Rinoa whimpered a little. She felt a churning sensation in her stomach and the need to be sick, as she had grown to love this little one within the past few days. A little guilt seeped into her brain for not considering that this was also a possibility.

"The health of a baby can never be guaranteed, but I'm fairly certain that with the proper care for your body in the next nine months, Ms. Heartilly, this baby could be just fine." He smiled, and his mustache turned up with his lips. Rinoa wished she could believe him more wholeheartedly. She didn't have much to say after this, and soon was given her pills and permission to leave. Seifer was already in the waiting room.

"That was fast…" She smirked, hiding her worries of her infant child.

"They have, err, reading material. So are we done now with this doctor bullshit?" Seifer winced, perhaps recalling his interrogation and session in the private room.

"For two weeks, and then we have our first ultrasound." Rinoa kissed him on the cheek and he let out a low whistle.

"This is really happening, isn't it?" He knew the answer before he asked.

Hours later, the doctor had called confirming that Seifer was indeed fertile, and all doubt dissipated. They were together, in this situation, and agreed. Breaking the news to their roommates however, was an entirely situation. Rather than have a large squawk-fest by telling all roommates at once, they chose to split them up. Rinoa would tell Selphie and Quistis. Seifer would tell Zell, Squall, and Irvine.

Rinoa chose lunch at a restaurant, while Seifer chose a bar. Go figure.

Selphie and Quistis were both very enthusiastic for the lunch, but also very aware that this was not an ordinary lunch. For Rinoa had been in such a reclusive state lately, it was strange to them that she was setting aside spare time. They shared an initial uneasy glance. There was a reason for the giddy delight, as well for the previous embrace of solitude. And both young women were eager to unveil Rinoa's secret.

At lunch, Quistis ordered a salad, while Selphie chose pizza. Rinoa declined her craving for a mayonnaise and fish sandwich and ordered a cheeseburger.

And for the first time in almost a week, they gossiped. Selphie finally admitted that Irvine was cute, and that she was finding it much harder to resist his advances for a formal date. Quistis on the other hand, hid her admiration for the silent Squall by saying, "I cannot fathom how you could be attracted to a pig such as Irvine. Someone like Squall is much more mature and intelligent."

Selphie brushed the comment off with a certain look to Rinoa, secretly saying, "Arguing with Queen Quistis is like arguing with a wall."

"So how are things with Seifer, Rinoa? You have sure been rather closed off, lately." Quistis said, but seemed intrigued in less of a concerned way and more of a 'give me the gossip now!' way.

"Things have been…really good, lately." She took a animalistic bite of her cheeseburger and wiped ketchup off her mouth.

"And…? Elaborate, please." Quistis wanted to get straight to the point. "We heard you two arguing the other day."

"Well, that argument is resolved…" Rinoa made eye contact with Quistis and let out a playful wink.

"Are ya sure he's not being a jerk to ya, Rin? All that bar-hopping seemed to make you pretty mad!" Selphie tried to smile as she let out the uneasy truth.

"I'm sure he'll stop the bar-hopping by the time the baby comes." Oh, the sweet delight that radiated from the smile Rinoa flashed as she watched her friends freeze on the spot. With dropped jaws that would assume the bomb she just dropped was the atomic one.

"But he's-"

"He's not." Rinoa intervened Selphie. She set down her burger and leaned forward on the table, ready to feel the joy from her friends. To her surprise, it didn't come.

"Rinoa…you've…decided to KEEP it?" Quistis asked in something that seemed more like dismay than pride and cheer.

"Well, yeah, I have." She was getting a little irritated at her friend's reaction.

"What will Caraway think? You're way too young Rinoa!" Quistis scolded. Rinoa dropped all her attention from her food to her friend. She felt betrayal. The matronly Quistis was being more of a shrew.

"I don't give a damn what Caraway thinks. And I don't give a damn about what you think, either. I'm done with what everyone else thinks. This is my decision. This is MY life." She insisted, letting the comment sting.

"No, Rinoa, it isn't. You're going to bring a baby into a house that is full as it is. The last thing we need is a hugely dependent infant. Do you know how much work goes into raising a child?"

"No, but I'll learn! What are you trying to say?" Rinoa shouted, throwing her napkin. The owner of the diner gave them a suspicious look.

"I'm saying that you are not responsible enough to care for a living, human being Rinoa. And if you're not going to take your roommates opinions into consideration, that's proof enough. This is an awful decision, and I cannot condone it." Quistis folded her arms and glared. Rinoa had enough.

"I'd say that this lunch is over, ladies." She stood up, and went to the pay phone to call a cab. The entire time, Selphie had been quiet. Now sitting next to a fuming Quistis, she had no input here, either. So she just scratched her head and said,

"Huh, imagine that. Seifer isn't sterile!"

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Similarly to how Rinioa took her female friends to a lunch, Seifer went with the men of the household. They went to a local bar and grill, and had a beer and a burger. Except for Squall. The men laughed.

"Squall, you're such a wuss!" Zell exclaimed, happily chugging his lager and asking for more.

"No, I'm just not insecure enough to be forced to prove my masculinity." He didn't have a smug look across a face, but rather an indifferent one. He lacked the true arrogance of a man.

"So Squall, did you hook up with Quisty yet?" Irvine elbowed him and Squall grimaced a bit without a reply.

"Yeah, don't be a fucking chicken. Bag that babe while she's still begging for it." Seifer said with a laugh. His smile was so large and uncharacteristic, it seemed to make the men uncomfortable. Normally he had just a self-assured smirk. This time he seemed breathy, genuinely happy. "Irvine, did you catch Selphie yet?"

"Selphie, is not a 'catch.' She is a beautiful young woman, and every time I gaze into those beautiful emerald eyes, I feel myself whisked away in the heat of romance and-"

"Cut the crap. She's not going out with you yet, huh?" Zell said joking, starting on another beer.

"No, but good things come to those who wait." He raised his own glass, and the guys muttered offensive things and Irvine just smiled. He knew Selphie was different, and the other men did too. "So I guess you're the only one who's getting anything, huh Seifer?"

Seifer still didn't display his arrogant smirk, but you could tell he was still himself when he said "Unless Zell is, but let's be honest."

Squall didn't seem to be offended at being left out of the conversation. He just ate tiny bits of food and observed the setting. The setting of drunk manly men, to whom he did not feel apart of. Yet, he found no hurt in this acknowledgement.

"So how was it with Rin? I heard you were her first." Zell smiled, wanting to hear all the dirty details. But to no avail. Which certainly was a shock for the all-inappropriate Seifer.

"I was her first, and I'm betting her last." He took a drink, and looked at Irvine. Those two men felt a bond. They felt the same bond, of being intimate with a woman on a higher level than physical. Zell seemed to be slightly nervous. Even Squall looked as if he was slightly interested.

"You that into her, huh?" Irvine said, looking at him with a small, charming smile. Seifer nodded and relaxed with his arms behind his head.

"Not only that…" He had the same anticipation Rinoa had, about to drop the bomb. "She's pregnant. And keeping it."

Seifer gauged the reactions of the men. They were wide-eyed. They leaned forward. Zell stood up.

"Seifer…man, that's great." He walked over to Seifer and patted him on the back, and Seifer stood and embraced him in a hug. Zell then had the same genuine smile Seifer had. Irvine soon acquired it too, and also hugged Seifer. And they started hooting, and hollering, like happy men do in a bar. Irvine even yelled, "Can I get a shot of whiskey for the dad-to-be?"

A waitress brought it over and Seifer was still smiling and laughing at his congratulating friends before he drank it. He glanced at Squall, who had said nothing, and was just looking at him. Upon seeing that Seifer was looking at him, Squall reached his hand over the table, and Seifer raised his to shake it.

"Good luck." Squall said. Something in Seifer felt that deep down, Squall was really unhappy. Then again, a screaming baby doesn't really fit into Squall's lifestyle. Seifer ignored it though, and sat deep in the atmosphere of celebration. Squall left early, but the boys stayed out for most of the night.

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Upon getting home, Rinoa went straight to bed and slept. She always slept when she was unhappy. She awoke again to Seifer's present, like an alarm went off in her body that needed to react to him. He rested a warm hand on her bare shoulder.

"How did it go, Rin?" He asked, barely a whisper. She turned and saw a face that was not solemn, but elated.

"It went awful, I don't want to talk about it." She turned back around and dug her face deep into her pillow, and dug her nails into the skin of her arm.

"What? What do you mean?" Rinoa laid on her stomach, something she would later miss, and buried herself even more. She let out an inaudible sob and paused, not wanting to have a cracked voice.

"Quistis thinks I'm a nut for wanting this." By the time her tongue had reached her teeth on the first phoneme of 'this' it was obvious she was about to cry.

"Quistis is an uptight bitch. Who cares what she thinks. She'll come around." He rubbed his hand on her back while she cried quietly. "What did Selphie say?"

"Nothing. She probably thinks I'm just as stupid." Rinoa murmured pitifully, feeling the despair of abandonment by her friends. "Did the boys tease you?"

"They're actually…really happy. Except for Squall, but he's never really happy." He listened and heard Rinoa let out a small laugh..

"That's good…I'm surprised…but happy." Rinoa again felt the sadness weighing down on her. Seifer shook her until she turned around and faced him.

"Rinoa, you love that baby, more than Quistis has loved anything in her life. You don't need her. You have a whole bunch of stinky old men that are willing to help with almost anything. Except changing a diaper." Rinoa laughed again.

"Do you love the baby too?" She teased, wrinkling her nose. He sniffed and looked at the ceiling.

"Meh, it's okay I guess." He laughed. "I dunno if I love it yet. But I think I'm growing to like the little bugger."

Rinoa laughed again, and pulled him into a good night kiss. As she ran his fingers through his hair, she wondered whether their child would have his platinum or her ebony locks.

She did not dwell on what happened that day.

Females are always advertised as nurturing and mother like. Males are always shown as selfish and irresponsible. But today, that had been proven wrong to Rinoa. She couldn't talk to them about cramps, bloating, or nipple soreness. But they supported her, and Rinoa needed that more than ever.

Hopefully her father would be the same way.


	13. Schnapps

**Disclaimer: **I don't make any money off this. I only make money off serving old men coffee and selling used video games.

_Are you folks still with me? Are you there? Just checking._

_Schnapps - This fruity sweet beverage lures young females in. It tastes great, but the 80 proof contains consequences._

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As if morning sickness wasn't bad enough, the long train ride just put the icing on the cake. Rinoa was resting her head on the cold glass window pane. She knew she couldn't hold her breakfast until they reached Deling. Hell, she didn't know if she could hold her breakfast for the next fifteen minutes. But despite her illness, she was very, very happy.

Seifer seemed to be more and more cheerful towards the pregnancy, and they had already started their plans. She would work at the coffee shop for a little bit longer, and save up for their own car. With Seifer's SeeD job, they would find their own apartment. Quistis had been a little bit right. A small child would definitely cramp the roommate's current young lifestyles. It had been a week since her and Quistis spoke, but the venom was still there.

She was just hoping right now that a SeeD job would be enough for the three of them. She never wanted to struggle, or for her child to feel that it ever went without. And chances are, that after today, her father would cut her off completely.

With a nervous look to Seifer, she hopped out of the train seat and ran to the bathroom. Yep, she knew it. She rested her head on the cold porcelain basin of the sink as she sat next to the toilet on the tiled floor. Her throwing up had started to last a little bit less each time, but the train ride certainly prolonged this feeling. It was the third time she had thrown up already. She might as well not even head back after her seat, for after vomiting she still didn't feel any relief from the nausea.

It would all be worth it in the end. So she tucked her head between her knees and prayed that the train would soon come to the stop. By the time the train stopped, she would have to do something that would make her feel sick all over again.

* * *

Seifer put his hand on the small of Rinoa's back. They were standing in front of the mansion that General Caraway resided, sure that he was shoulder deep in meaningless papers. This was the house she was meant to love, the house she was raised in. Rinoa, Caraway, and Julia. None of them were happy in this house. With a great sigh, Rinoa told the doorman the code and they were led into the parlor, with Seifer's arm snaked around her waist.

She remembered this as the room she last saw her mother alive. Still the image was burned in her memory. Her mother's knees up, eyes closed. Soft shading. And that careless arm. Rinoa felt like if she stared just hard enough, she could see the tear stains from that night on the arm of the chair. Her attention turned however, when General Caraway entered the room.

The couple stood next to each other, still one of Seifer's arms around Rinoa. Rinoa had her hands folded in front of her, and the general stood tall in front of her with a trying smile.

"What a pleasant surprise, Rinoa. It's certainly been a long time. And even longer since you've been around here, Mr. Almasy." Seifer had managed to make his worst grimace a smile. Caraway extended his hand for a shake, and though Rinoa could sense Seifer tense, he shook it. Last time Caraway and Seifer had met, it hadn't been on pleasant circumstances. Her father never was very fond of her boyfriend, but isn't that the way life has always been?

"It sure has, sir." Seifer tried to sound polite. Admirable effort, but Seifer being polite sounded awkward sounding to even himself. Caraway then turned to Rinoa with a much greater smile.

"I'm so glad my princess has finally decided to come and visit her father. I'm hoping your visits will become more frequent than this." He leaned forward to hug her, and Rinoa's arms stiffly wrapped around her father. It was as much as she could offer, and he did seem pleased. He retreated and faced her, with a strict smile on his face.

"Yeah…it's been a while." Rinoa's smile was weak. She looked around the room and her father took this as an indication that she wanted to sit.

"How impolite of me, it must've been a long ride. Please, sit. I'll have some tea brought down to us."

Rinoa sat on the couch next to Seifer, sitting up straight and proper. She folded her hands on her legs, and glanced over at Seifer who was fully reclined and looked almost ready to put his feet on the mahogany coffee table.

"So what's the occasion, Rinoa? I can tell you're not very fond of Deling, and you never really come around unless it's for a reason. What's the reason this time?" Caraway looked straight at her, while she looked away. This was a clear indicator, that she did indeed have a purpose for being here. A purpose that he wouldn't like. "Is it a money issue, Rinoa? Am I not sending you enough?"

"That's not it, Caraw - uh, Dad." She bit her lip and nervously looked at Seifer who was staring at the ceiling. She knew that although it looked like he didn't care, he was listening and his nerves irked whenever hers did.

"Then what is it, Rinoa? What do you need from me?" His smile was kind but his words sounded hurtful. She hated this mutual symbiotic relationship with her father. He gave her money, and he felt like he was the greatest father in the world. "I can have my checkbook out in ten seconds, and let you go about your way."

"I don't want any money. I just want-"

"A place to stay? A car?" Caraway went on and on and Rinoa's hormonal temper was much more vicious than her normal one, so before he could continue she put her hand up to silence him.

"Please, just listen to me. I don't want money, I don't need a place to stay, I can get my own car. I want to talk to you about something, is all."

"If it's the will that you're worried about -"

"It's not your god damn will, okay? Can you just listen instead of treating me like a parasite?" Rinoa's voice had raised and she felt Seifer grow a little more alert and his eyes moved to their interactions. Caraway folded his arms and gave her a stony look.

"Well Rinoa, I'm just going on what happens every other time you come here, forgive me." Caraway was nonchalant which made Rinoa even more excited and upset. Feeling this, Seifer slowly sat up straight and grasped her hand lightly.

"Okay, I wanted this to be nice, _Dad_. I so desperately wanted to tell you that I wanted to fix things between us, that I wanted things to be _normal _for once. But I see that's a lost cause." She picked up her purse and stood, and Seifer stood with her. "I wanted us to be okay, so you can be there for me because if you would listen, you presumptuous jerk, I'm having a baby."

Rinoa was about to leave, thinking that she would leave Caraway as her mother did, eyebrows furrowed and mouth agape in silence. But she felt a strong hand latch onto her wrist before she even passed the coffee table.

"I don't think so, Rinoa. You aren't going to stand up and walk out after dropping a bomb like that." Caraway was standing now as well, a full head taller than Rinoa. He was glaring at her, and Rinoa was sure to look like the vulnerable one. She tried to shake his grip off her wrist, but it was like having her hand enveloped in cement. Seifer was watching Caraway's moves very carefully, waiting for the wrong one.

"Let go of me, Caraway. I'm leaving, and I'm not coming back this time. You can keep your money to yourself. You can fucking swim in a pool full of it. Enjoy every penny you have, but you will never see me or your grandchild, because I'm done with this." Rinoa spat. Caraway grabbed her other arm and pushed her back down onto the couch.

"Like hell you are!" The general shouted, but in a lightning quick instant, Seifer had him by the collar. Now Seifer was a full head taller than General Caraway. Now General Caraway was sure to look like the vulnerable one.

"Caraway, I'm going to say this once as politely as I possibly can. Keep your grubby fucking paws off my girlfriend and my kid and I'll let you live." Seifer was snarling, taking deep breaths, and the general at first looked panicked. He had placed his hands on Seifer's arms and tried to push him away. After seeing it wasn't working, he feigned relaxation and looked Rinoa's boyfriend in the eye.

"Seifer, it really isn't wise to threaten a member of government. Then again, it wasn't really wise to knock up his daughter. I suggest you let go of me right now, lest you spend your child's first day of school in jail." There was a heated stare between them that seemed to last years to Rinoa. Finally, Seifer let him go. "Rinoa, I apologize for that outburst. But I cannot pretend to support this situation. This is a real hole you've gotten yourself into this time. I cannot stand by a bad decision."

Rinoa pushed back tears in her eyes. Certainly she didn't expect this to go great, but she really hadn't been hoping for a blow out either. But this is the same end she's went over in her head time and time again.

"I will call you at a later date. Until then I suggest you and your _boyfriend _go home and think of the careers and youth you just threw away." Caraway rose, and brushed off his pants. With one last glare at Seifer and a mere to Rinoa, he exited the room, leaving the two alone. Seifer snorted, and murmured about 'that bastard this' and 'who does he think he is.'

"Seifer, forget about it. He's never going to change. But we don't need him." Rinoa stood with her purse and started to leave, but Seifer did seem really frustrated.

"He can't just get away with it!" Seifer shouted, flinging his arm to his side.

"Seifer, get off it. This is who he's been for years." Rinoa half-smiled in an attempt to calm him down and make it seem like she was okay with it. On the inside she was hurting that internal ache she always had when it came to her father.

"So help me god, Rinoa, if we have a daughter, I'll never do that to her." Seifer's voice rang promise through Rinoa's ears. She smiled at the sensitive thought. Seifer's face froze, knowing that he emitted such a soft emotion, straightened his face into his usual arrogance. "And if my daughter came home with a charming guy like me, I would welcome him with open arms!"

Rinoa laughed and shook her head, and started to leave, with Seifer in tow.

"You know what we can do if we REALLY wanna piss him off?"

"What, Seifer?"

"We can do it on his couch….heheh…"

"Maybe another day, Seifer." The two left and on the way back to Balamb, Rinoa felt less sick. But more importantly, she felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

Telling your father you were pregnant was not a light feat.

* * *

Rinoa's first ultrasound was next week and she was entirely excited. While her stomach was still lean, it seemed that the area between her hips felt swollen, but she read in the many purchased books that this was natural.

It had been two days since she spoke to her father, and he did not call like he said. She didn't care, however. She was walking on air. Even with Quistis not talking to her, even through being neglected by her father, and even being a very young adult pregnant and about to spend the rest of her life with a child.

She was entirely ecstatic.

The roommates downstairs were engrossed in the dull buzz of conversation, accompanied by the sizzle of a pan. Dinner would soon be ready. After dinner, just about everyone was going out to the bar besides Rinoa. This was an affair Rinoa would like to avoid even if she wasn't pregnant.

Quistis had not only severed most ties with her, she severed ties with Seifer, and Seifer wasn't one to keep his mouth shut. Quistis was also someone whose quick tongue was not afraid to retaliate. Any verbal brawl between them would escalate to the point where none were welcome in a public setting.

Seifer peeped his head in the bedroom door to tell her dinner was ready. She happily bounced off the bed, comfortable in only her robe and slippers. While everyone was just beginning to start their night, Rinoa was very fond of the idea of sleeping in. She had to work tomorrow, and this money was more needed than ever.

Zone had not mentioned their argument after Rinoa called him to inform him she was pregnant. He in fact, apologized for the words he had spoken and congratulated her. She made him promise that her work load would be the same amount, if not more. Only hard work would reward her desperate plea for funds.

This was reassured as she flipped through the envelopes on the table and noticed not one was a check from her father. He had actually cut her off. That was fine, they would get on by their own…she hoped.

Seifer had sent a letter requesting to take another SeeD test in hopes that his wage would raise, and also requested for closer locations on each mission. Cid was a kind man, and hopefully would oblige. But nothing was set in stone until they received the letter saying so.

Rinoa sat down to the table next to Selphie and Seifer, and everyone else had begun to dig in. Since her hormones had started taking control, she consumed almost as ravenously as Zell himself. The difference was that Rinoa did not speak with her completely full.

Most of the conversation was between her and Selphie, which entirely irked Quistis's nerves. Rinoa saw with peripheral vision the communication towards Squall in an effort to converse. Squall answered with a nod or shake of the head, but that was all. There was some sympathy felt towards Quistis, but not too much. The woman would just need to learn that quick judgments will quickly leave you alone.

After dinner, Seifer left with a quick goodbye kiss on Rinoa's lips, and a wave. Soon she found only herself and Squall in the house. Squall's company had started to grow on Rinoa, as she often was left with him on bar ventures. Flopping on the couch beside his chair, she started to poke what was soon to be a rather robust abdomen.

Squall noticed this at the corner of his eye.

"You don't look any different yet. Quit touching your stomach every ten seconds." He did not make eye contact with her, merely stared at his newspaper. Rinoa rolled onto her stomach and supported her head in her hands.

"Are you sure I don't look absolutely glowing?" She asked in a sing song voice.

"…No, I'm afraid." The paper turned, and Rinoa stuck her tongue out at him, and started humming to herself, playing with her hair.

"Y'know, out of all people in the house, you haven't had one comment on this pregnancy thing. In fact, you haven't talked that much in the past couple of days." Commented the young girl while she folded her legs on the couch.

"Not much to say. You have conceived. There is my comment." Another flip of the page.

"I'm disappointed that you haven't given an in-depth psychological analysis yet. You do seem to know everything, right?" She gave him a friendly wink, but he didn't seem to see it.

"Again, what is there to analyze? You are with child. If I were to analyze this, I would have to say you participated in intercourse for this to happen." Rinoa furrowed her eyebrows and silently mocked him. He still didn't seem to notice, or care. Feeling irritated, she went to her room.

This week had taken a toll on her, and she had no trouble slipping into slumber. While she knew that there was so much more to hammer out for this child to come into the world ready. Would she ever be ready?

She brushed the idea out of her mind. The love that had grown for this child was so intense that she would stand up to any obstacle that told her it was wrong. Any Quistis, any father, would not be too strong to remain undefeated to maternal love.

Besides, she knew that no matter what, it would all fall right into place.


	14. Wine coolers

**Disclaimer: ** Nyeh.

_So for my personal note today, my senior year is going just fine. I do take welding as a vocation student, and a big piece of my classroom is missing this year. I am sad to say that a very close friend of mine committed suicide recently. _

_I just want to say, I love you Donny. And I forgive you._

_%%%%_

_I promise that the chapters will speed up after a couple things are established. I hate rushing stories and I'm so desperately afraid that I will rush this one. Every time I grasp for quality in any work it isn't very well noticed. Also, this isn't TOO much of a story progression in this chapter. So don't be mean. Sorry so short.  
_

_I know people ADORE Squinoa and are partially avoiding this because there is so much Rinoa/Seifer. But the reason why I choose Rinoa and Seifer often is because it does hint at a past romance between them and it was left unexplored. Squinoa is fast approaching. But I think many of you misunderstand this story. This is not going to be happy, and cheerful. Squall will be miserable. Rinoa will be miserable. Seifer will be miserable. _

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Rinoa excitedly hummed to herself, lying on the bed at the gynecologists. Today was her first utlrasound, and she was as excited as any new mother should be. Despite the bouts of stifling heat and frosty chills, her pregnancy seemed to be going well.

Seifer was more nervous about this than she was. He sometimes tried to avoid the realism of being a father, but at other times just did not like doctor's offices. His hand continuously threaded its way through his golden hair. His foot nervously tapped.

Soon enough, the doctor came in to proceed with the ultrasound. Rinoa took a deep intake of breath as they put the cold blue jelly on her stomach. She took another intake of breath as they pressed the machine onto her abdomen and scrolled it around. But anxiously, with a bitten lip, she watched the screen.

"There it is, Ms. Heartilly. There's the baby!" The ultrasound technician squealed, awaiting Rinoa's giddy response. Rinoa said nothing, but instead raised her eyebrow and squinted.

"What, am I giving birth a peanut?" She said, looking at the low quality blobbed scribbles. Seifer cocked his head a little.

"Did you expect a Polaroid of a crying infant, Rin? These things have to grow." Seifer said softly, but he could not keep his eyes off the screen. He placed his hand in Rinoa's gently, and it was her turn to cock her head.

"Seifer? What's the matter?" She asked, placing her hand on his back. He was still staring at the image on the screen.

"Remember when you asked me if I loved the baby yet? And I told you I only liked it?"

Rinoa nodded. She watched his face, as it turned into a slow smile.

"I think I love it now." He said, and finally he looked towards her, with a smile so genuine and large it made her heart want to burst. She laughed and squeezed his hand a little tighter.

"It is quite a cute peanut, isn't it?" Her eyes started to tear up. Seifer's eyes went back to the screen.

"Yeah…and it's my peanut. Forever."

The two walked out of the office hand-in-hand. They were holding photographs of the living being they had created, and that they would continue to love for the rest of their lives.

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Two months after their first ultrasound, Rinoa and Seifer were still beaming with pride that they were going to be parents. Rinoa was now getting a slightly rounded stomach, and she loved it. Constantly you could see her holding it, or rubbing lotion on it. Selphie had also been quite taken with this transformation. Whenever Rinoa turned a corner, Selphie would come out of nowhere to poke it. Zell had suggested they paint black lines on it to make it look like a basketball. Rinoa detested this idea, but Seifer said Zell would have to wait until it became a little bigger, and a little rounder.

Rinoa wasn't upset being the fat lady of the house, but still felt the heavy weight of her abdomen wherever she went. Her feet started to swell, and being a waitress became a little more difficult every week. But she now needed just a few more hundred gil, and they could own their very own car.

While Seifer and Rinoa hadn't quite went apartment shopping left, she often laid on her bed and lazily daydreamed all the things she could do with a space that was just hers. Well, hers and the little baby inside. She had decided that next month she would go for another ultrasound to discover her baby's gender. Because it never was too early to start picking out clothes…

Quistis still wasn't speaking to her, but it had become a routine. There was barely any animosity left from Rinoa's side. How can she focus on disliking someone when she had so much joy in her life?

And besides, today was a special day that brought more excitement than usual. Selphie and Irvine were going on their first official date tomorrow night, so Rinoa and Selphie were going shopping for a new date dress.

Rinoa sighed as she opened the mailbox and discovered that there was again, no check from her father. With a dignified expression, she agreed to herself that she didn't need anyone's support. She sorted the mail (one for Selphie, one for Irvine, four for Quistis, and one for Seifer) and hurriedly met Selphie at the car.

It had been ages since she had been at the mall. Since they first moved in, actually. What used to be a daily routine was now an appreciated outing. The fountains, the faint smell of food in the air, the escalators. Tags, dressing rooms, the buzz of a security sensor somewhere. Every girl's paradise, their haven. Rinoa looked at all the stores that she used to love to wander into, and frowned a little at her protruding stomach. She missed squeezing into a dress and feeling beautiful. But this is what she chose.

Selphie, who always managed to turn a plus into a negative, dragged her into a maternity clothes store. While Rinoa wished this could be like old times, where they stacked hangers upon hangers of clothes in each other's arms, it wasn't. These clothes were mature, conservative. Pants that were not called jeans, but they were slacks. No t-shirts, only blouses. She inwardly groaned.

But this was her choice, this is what she wanted. Some sacrifices would have to happen. After all, they don't cater to teenage mothers, do they?

As always, her best friend did manage to find the diamond in the rough, and found a beautiful white sundress with a blue flower pattern accenting it that Rinoa immediately fell in love with and purchased immediately. One thing she did enjoy, was that she was not paying the designer prices she did buying her usual clothes.

Before they could make it to their favorite dress boutique at the end of the hall, Rinoa was distracted by the wafting scent of pretzels and cheese. After two pretzels, cream cheese, and a large coke, she felt satisfied enough to waddle behind Selphie with full arms. Selphie's eyes sparkled upon entering the cramped store. Racks upon racks of one-of -a-kind dresses were on display. And then, Selphie pounced.

She devastated each rack, clamoring to get all sorts of dresses in her greedy little arms. Rinoa was devouring a pretzel and just waltzing through them, refusing to acknowledge that she was the company of the fashion fiend on the other side. As the dressing room portion began, Rinoa told Selphie everything that was great about the dress, Selphie told Rinoa everything that was wrong with it, and then they made another trip back to the racks.

On their fourth trip of browsing, Rinoa at this point just sliding her hand along the clothes, stopped when she felt a fabric incredibly soft. Almost hesitantly, she pulled it out.

It was a soft, silky yellow dress that would hang mid-thigh on Selphie. It seemed as if it would cling to the torso, and the top cut into a deep, seductive v-neck. It had a rhinestone halter and a rhinestone belt that went beneath the breasts. Rinoa handed it to Selphie who had an expression that showed she was dazzled by it.

"Oh, Rin! This is it! This is it!"

Selphie tried it on and this time, had nothing bad to say. After the purchase, she was giddy the entire way home. Even Rinoa was giddy for her. It had taken forever for Selphie to give in and agree to go on a date with Irvine.

After arriving home, Rinoa assisted Selphie on her swollen feet doing all the things they used to do. She curled Selphie's hair, clipped the back of the dress, chose shoes. But even waving Selphie out the store, it still didn't feel 'just like old times.' Perhaps because there was a sense of finality to it.

Rinoa wouldn't have time to be 'girlfriend' to Selphie anymore. She would only have time to be 'mommy.' She would lose the part of her life that gave her license to get giddy over a dress, or to look pretty for a nice date. There are few dates when raising an infant. She was losing a part of her life, a part of herself.

Again, she reminded herself, this was her choice. A nagging voice in the back of her said, 'it's not too late yet.'

Oh, but it was. She had already fallen in love with her child. Besides, she lost a part of her life, and was gaining a much bigger one.

She wouldn't pick out dresses for herself, but maybe her daughter. She wouldn't go on nice dates, but she could wave her son off on one. Truly, this was gain.

It became further affirmed that this was the right decision when she went upstairs and saw Seifer's beaming face.

"What are you so smiley about?" She asked, laying on the bed and poking at her stomach. She looked up and saw that he was reading the letter he got.

"Cid confirmed my request for a promotion in SeeD. I'm going to have almost double the pay I do now. He must be shitting me." Seifer lunged on the bed next to Rinoa, who felt her heart start to flutter.

"_Double, _Seifer? No strings attached? Same job?" She sat with her hands clasped in prayer.

"Well I'm moving up in the job, so we'll see. Worst comes to worst, we'll have to relocate for some boring desk job. I have to still be briefed. But get this - if I do have to relocate, they're paying for the house!" Rinoa could not believe her ears. She clapped and jumped on Seifer, with her arms around his neck. Everything was falling into place. Everything.

"When do you get briefed?" She could not wait for this. For this jump in her life. A family and a home with the man she truly loved.

"In two days. Oh god Rin, we're going to have it good." Seifer said, laying back with his hands behind his head. Rinoa smiled and nodded, placing her hands on her stomach again.

All three of them are going to have it good.


	15. Gin and Tonic

**Disclaimer: **I sadly earn no income from the making of this story, nor do I own any characters.

_Author's Note: Thank you for your reviews everyone. This week has been rough. I got kicked out of my house again, and I won't be returning anytime soon. But now I have a calm enough home life to be able to write whenever I choose. Not to mention I'm now twenty minutes away from the distraction of social gatherings, haha._

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* * *

_

Rinoa had come home from work, exhausted as ever. Her back had a dull ache in it, but she had finally reached the point she was waiting for. She had enough finances for the car her and Seifer had been saving up for. It was the first step of becoming independent adults. How was she to have a child if she couldn't drive them to school, to daycare, to soccer practice?

Rinoa's belly was certainly noticeable now. She was carrying her child high, and she always had an internal complaint of swelling, appetite, heart burn, or feeling overheated. She was five months pregnant, and loving every second, deep down. The ultrasound to find out the gender of her child was next week. At first, it was a toss-in-the air. Rinoa was second-guessing whether or not she wanted to know until birth, but Seifer was dead-set on knowing in advance. So alas, the appointment was finally scheduled and she was already choosing baby names.

Seifer came home shortly after she did, with a smile on his face after hearing the good news about their increasing stability and progress. They had not heard anymore of Seifer's promotion, but they were awaiting news of relocation and any missions.

Rinoa's happiness had reached a peak. And then, the phone rang. Selphie had answered it. Rinoa was lying in bed and Seifer took the cordless from Selphie, smiled at Rinoa, and answered it.

"Yep?"

There was some noise at the other end of the line.

"I'm listening."

There was more noise, and Seifer's grin ceased.

"There's no fuckin' way. You know my situation, man."

The voice on the other end grew a little less official. It was the voice of an older man.

"It's the only way? There's no way I can get out of this? I can't do this."

Rinoa's eyebrows furrowed with concern. Seifer seemed to be getting worked up. He slashed his hand through the air.

"That's bullshit!" Seifer yelled. Rinoa jumped a little bit and put her hand on Seifer's shoulder. He shook it off and stood up, and began pacing the room, while the voice on the other side seemed a little panicked. What exactly was going on?

"Jesus Christ...alright. Whatever it takes. Goodbye."

Seifer hung up the phone and tossed it on the bed. He sat across from the bed in an armchair and rested his head in his hands. Rinoa knew better than to speak. He was taking deep breaths, and then started massaging his temples. Only did he stare at the ground, afraid to meet his love's eyes. This frightened her, and she rose from the bed and sat next to him on the chair.

Softly, she ran her fingers through his hair, the color of river-side sand. She rested her head on his shoulder and dropped her hand to grab his. His palms were sweating, and he was shaking with anger. But he didn't reject the gentle grasp she gave it. Knowing that he was so upset, she rubbed her thumb across the back of his hand lightly. He firmly squeezed it, and when he spoke, he spoke slow.

"There's been a change of plans, Rin." He said in a low-voice. She nodded and looked down at their hands intertwined. "I guess things in life don't come as easy as we would have hoped."

"What happened, Seifer? Tell me." She whispered in his ear, eyes glistening with sadness for him.

"The promotion...Cid can't give it to me unless I go on one more mission. As a captain." His tone was serious, but Rinoa didn't understand what he meant. She cocked her head to the side slightly, and he continued. "It's a little more dangerous being a captain...you're in the heat of everything. But it's a longer mission than usual."

Rinoa tensed, and felt her throat grow tight. Not a long mission, not again. This isn't what they needed. The money for these longer missions, they would be enough to buy a house and more, but it wasn't worth the risk this was presenting. It sounded to her that what Seifer was actually saying was, 'I might die.'

"How long?" Her voice was so quiet it seemed raspy. He exhaled heavily.

"A little over three months."

Only half a second passed before Rinoa replied.

"Don't go."

"I have to, Rin. This is what I have to do for us. We can't take care of this kid on a waitressing job and a quick week-long SeeD mission every two months." Rinoa grabbed his arm and shook it.

"It's not worth it Seifer, we'll find another way-"

"Damn it, there is no other way Rinoa! This is what we have to do!" He said, getting worked up all over again.

"Don't you know what you're risking, Seifer? If you don't come back...If you...I'll be all alone, Seifer! What if you get held up again? It'll just be me and..." She rubbed her round stomach, the one that was carrying their child.

"Rin, don't make me feel like that. Even if I don't come back, you'll get enough money because of that to support both of you and the next generation. This is what I have to do to take care of you. And of our kid. So quit trying to convince me, it's useless. I'm going, that's that."

Rinoa made a curtain of hair fall between them as she started to cry. She felt the cold saline fall from her cheeks and down her chin, trailing down her neck. But she didn't want him to see. She rested her face in her hands, and monitored her breathing so not to sob. He rose from the chair without another word. She couldn't take it anymore.

"Don't go Seifer! Just please don't go." She cried out, sinking to the floor, and grasping the hem of her skirt in fists, white knuckles covering the sky-blue fabric.

"I have to pack." He replied coldly, going into the bedroom.

"God damn it Seifer!" She cried, reaching hysterics. She punched the floor. "Damn it..."

The entire situation reminded her of an old saying.

What goes up, must come down.

* * *

On the way to the train station, Rinoa kept a straight-face. Seifer did as well. She had not forgiven him for his decision, and he refused to apologize. She was hurt, lonely, and worried. But no, he wouldn't be allowed to see that. Her tears were all dried up, and she was finding it hard to locate the everlasting joy she had felt just two days prior.

The clouds outside were overcast, covering every field and flower with it's melancholy shade. The air was brisk, and the breath of one would light up the air and soon after disperse. Rinoa tightened the belt of her jacket over her pregnant belly and dug her hands into her pockets as they exited the car. She still wouldn't look at him, but walked down the familiar path to the outgoing SeeD station. Seifer was two steps behind her, as she made sure to waddle fast down the damp concrete. A prickle of rain landed light on her skin, but sent a shiver through her body. Her quick steps were more exhausting than they had been walking away from her problems last time. There was a point to be proven.

Rinoa stopped quickly in front of the platform and looked down to her feet. Seifer slowed his gait and stood in front of her, looking around the station, rocking on his feet. It seemed that both of them were wondering 'what to do now?' Yet for a moment, neither of them made the first move. The tall blonde decided to speak.

"Are you really going to let me go like this?"

Rinoa swallowed and kept looking at the grown, perpetuating abstract thoughts to evade the feeling of guilt. She looked at the man walking down the cement with a briefcase, another group of Garden students, looking forward to going home. Deep down, the young mother-to-be was envious of them. The baby that had become a reason for happiness had become a reason of despair. The idea of a mother and father starting a nest for their beloved child was vanishing in front of her. If anything were to happen to Seifer, she would be raising a child without a father and seeing his features every day. Even now, Seifer was missing out on an entire third of her pregnancy. He'd miss all the next ultrasounds, and if he came back late, he may even miss the birth.

The only thing that would console her was some company, comfort, or consort. But she would be in a house with people who didn't exactly understand what she was doing or why she decided to do it. And it wouldn't be like last time, where for only two weeks she woke up alone in bed. This was three months. When something dropped, no one else would be there to pick it up. Looking for a home would be difficult, and she would need some help. Again, dependent on the people around her. The only person she wanted to depend on was Seifer.

"Will you write to me?" She finally contended, looking up to him with an apologetic smile. He relaxed his muscles in relief that this wouldn't turn into a debacle or argument that he'd dwell on for the next three months.

"Whenever I can, Rin."

She reached up to him on her tippy-toes, and kissed him on the lips. He pulled her in for a deeper one, the last one that they would have for the next three months. He rested his hand on her stretched belly, and said goodbye to his child. Whether it be a son or a daughter, he would know in the next letter. But it didn't matter, he loved the little bug, more and more each day. He would miss glancing at the slight ascension that Rinoa's drowsy arms were enveloping every day that he woke up. But this wasn't forever. If he wanted that slight ascension to have the best opportunity in it's life, he knew that he had to go.

With one last kiss, they seperated. First lingering in their embrace, then in the whispered 'I love you,' and then as their fingers were slowly but surely parting. When he turned around, he didn't look back. Even if he didn't see, Rinoa waved him off, the young woman in love with a man off to war.

* * *

Rinoa woke up limp, and in a daze. While the letter she received saying that Seifer had arrived safely had comforted her, she still didn't feel the same waking up cold. Squall was taking her to the doctor's today. She insisted that she could drive, but he refused as vehemently a calm person can. She understood his point though. She was afraid of everything as long as she was pregnant.

Squall met her downstairs, and had already put eggs and bacon on a plate next to a glass of grapefruit juice. Since her morning sickness had disappeared, she liked to eat once she woke up with as many calories as acceptable.

"Squall, this looks like a suggested meal straight out of one of the Expecting Mothers books." Rinoa giggled, digging in gratefully.

"Sometimes, I run out of other books to read." She laughed, imagining Squall study books that talk about cervical mucus and amniotic fluid. It seemed like the type of thing that he'd be uncomfortable around, and Rinoa vocalized that thought. He replied, "It's a completely natural thing, not anything to be creeped out about."

When he was in the room and the cold blue jelly was being rubbed on her stomach, he did turn away out of courtesy. Rinoa smiled at him reassuringly, and reminded him tha the didn't need to be in the room with her. Looking at the wall, he merely answered, "You should have someone to celebrate the gender of your baby with, right?"

Squall had lately been rather withdrawn and cold as Rinoa grew deeper enthralled with motherhood, for it was something he knew nothing about. It was quite a turn of character that he was becoming interested in the topic, and Rinoa thought of if Squall somewhere had the paternal urge within him. He would be a good father, Rinoa agreed to herself. Especially if he wasn't iffy about the gruesome details of motherhood, for he lightly spoke of things like the 'birth canal.' Rinoa felt slightly strange that this man living in her house knew so much about what her body needed, and was going through.

When the doctor came in, she greeted Rinoa, who had become a friendly face to her over the past couple of months. She introduced herself to Squall as well, who with a solemn face nodded during Rinoa's introduction of him. They set to work, and soon Rinoa felt the pressure of the machine that was searching for the image of her unborn. Rinoa watched the screen closely, loving to see the scribbled circles that she was so familiar in feel rather than sight. Squall watched intently too, but not at the screen. He watched Rinoa smiling, and her full chest raising up and down with every cheerful breath.

The doctor squinted at the photo, and seemed fully giddy with excitement. She squealed to Rinoa with eyes of anticipation.

"Ms. Heartilly, you have a girl!"

Rinoa let out a deep hearty laugh, half of her own joy and half of Seifer's shock when he found out. She couldn't wait to get home and write a letter to him, and spent the entire car ride daydreaming of how she would dress up her little girl, and what she would look like. Squall kept his eyes fixed on the road. But with the happiness radiating off the woman beside him, he let out a painful smile.

On the surface, he hoped nothing but the best for Rinoa, and wanted to protect her. But this ran deeper than the average friend watching over one as she endures a life-changing event. At his core, he felt a growing affection for the angelic being sitting next to him, and he was pained by the passionate love she held for someone whom Squall considered a less-than-decent person.

She seemed intellectual and caring, while he was ignorant and callous. The rivalry between them had always existed but only grew more searing when this young woman entered Squall's life. But he was stupid, quiet Squall. Who rarely spoke, and never spoke of importance when he did. He inwardly berated himself for being so secluded. How was she supposed to notice him when he might as well be a piece of old furniture?

Surely, she must appreciate his own intellectual qualities? But most women didn't notice that about a man. Still, he refused to categorize Rinoa with 'most women.' She was something special, but she would never be his.

Why Seifer though? He drinks, he's rude, he's immature. What did they have in common besides a romantic history?

Ah, that's right. They have a baby in common.

And they would have those two things in common for the rest of their lives.


	16. Pina Colada

**Disclaimer - NYEHNYEH!**

_Author's Note - Somewhat fluffy chapter. Made me happy to write. I sincerely apologize for it being so short. But I'm happy to even update it a little!_

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_Seifer._

She was delighted with this response. But she continued to loathe the empty spot on the bed next to her. The way his lips were slightly parted as he slept, the absence of all sins and flaws on his face, as we all are when we sleep. She reminded herself that he would be back, and all she needed to do was focus on her baby girl.

Rinoa let a big smile appear on her face as she internally did a dance for the fact that it was a girl. When it came to a girl's name, however, she felt vacuous. There were plenty of names she found cute and appealing, but it would have to be one Seifer would agree to as well. So with pen and paper, she went downstairs.

Squall was already awake, sipping on steaming coffee when Rinoa came down.

"Where's the rest of the house?" She asked him yawning, while she went to the cupboard to get a glass.

"At breakfast. Apparently, not a single individual in this house knows how to cook for themselves." He seemed haughty as he sat with his own breakfast consisting of eggs, toast, and bacon. "I made extra, if you're hungry."

"Are you even asking?" She smiled, and put a little on her plate. Eating became hard nowadays. She couldn't exactly get close to the table with her belly in the way, so she sat with her feet on another chair, and rested the plate on the top of her round belly. She shivered a little, realizing the cold weather had set in already. Peeking out of the blinds, she noticed a thin layer of frost on the grass and groaned. "Great, now we have to worry about a heating bill."

Squall wordlessly stood and turned the heat up on the thermostat. She thanked him with a mouth full of food, and set her plate down.

"So now that I know it's a girl, I need to think of names. Any good ideas?"

"I don't know. Don't you have a book or something for that?" Squall said, not moving his eyes from the paper.

"If I did, you would have read it already." She put pen to paper. "C'mon, give me one."

"Umm..Agnes?"

Rinoa's stare at him was blank.

"I'm not even writing that down." Squall let out a low chuckle that made Rinoa smile.

"Why not? I think it's a very respectable name." He replied, setting his coffee mug. It was strange, seeing him involved in something. As strange as it was, he was taking on an active role in her life during Seifer's absence. Maybe it was because in a little way, she admired him and his maturity. She wanted to be closer to that. The lifestyle of the others was something she needed to stray from. But Squall's presence, the air about him was more parental. In a way Squall took care of her when others just interacted. He was comfort food with Seifer being gone.

"It's a name that would get a girl beaten up in school by a Brittany. You can do better!"

"Marsha."

"Reminds me of marshmallow."

"Lucy."

"I had a dog named Lucy."

"Garnet."

"I don't know why, but it sounds too regal."

"Yuffie?"

"Well that's just goofy."

"Rikku."

"Sounds like a foreign name."

Squall finally sighed. "If you're going to turn down all my suggestions, I'm not going to give you any more names."

"C'mon Squall, just one solid name!" Rinoa said, tossing her pen down. He gave her a flabbergasted look that said, 'Since when is this my job?'

"I don't know, Rinoa, why don't you name her after your mother?" Rinoa paused and looked thoughtfully.

"That isn't half-bad, Squall. Good idea." So after all the turn-downs for other names, she wrote in an elegant scrawl the name of her late mother, and was contented with it being the only name on the page. Afterwards, she took another bite of toast and sat resting her head in her hand. Squall looked at her in much the same position, and she smiled again.

"Squall, I have a favor to ask." Squall nodded for her to go on. "I need you to teach me how to cook."

He raised an eyebrow and thought over it for a second before speaking, as he always does.

"Do I look like a master chef to you?"

"No...but..I mean, anything you can cook is probably better than whatever I can cook." was her response.

"I don't know about that. What can you cook?" He asked her, and she blushed a little.

"Well umm...I can toast things...and...butter things...so that means I can make toast."

"Oh dear." He said, his lips curled into a half-smile. She looked at him in feigned offense.

"BUTTERED toast, at that Squall." He smiled a little bit more and stretched.

"Well, let's get this show on the road. Since everything in this damned house is ramen noodles, we'll have to go to the grocery store first off."

Rinoa jumped up and clapped. She went upstairs and tried her best to squeeze her belly into a button up pink blouse, and put on her khaki capris. Buttons were her enemies nowadays, along with zippers, stairs, and things that fall. After collecting her hair into a high ponytail, they were out the door.

At the market, Rinoa examined all the fruits and vegetables curiously.

"Do you know what you would like to cook, Rinoa?" Squall asked, examining an apple.

"I think breakfast first...so I won't have to rely on you cooking it for me." she grinned at him. Squall had placed a dozen eggs in the cart, when he turned and saw Rinoa dropping a gallon of milk, which spilled all over the floor. As she looked around embarassed and urgently for someone to help her pick it up, he placed another dozen eggs in the cart. He knew half of them would end broke by the time she got through with them. He then picked up the gallon and called for an attendant while Rinoa apologized profusely.

After this, Rinoa made a habit of dropping things and having Squall pick them up. Each time, she had a sinister giggle as he thought nothing of it.

At the checkout, Squall set everything on the belt and waited patiently, glancing at a magazine. Rinoa dropped a pack of gum that Squall politely picked up, while the cashier squealed at the sight of Rinoa's rounded belly.

"Ohh! You're pregnant! How far along?"

"About six months." Rinoa put one hand at her back and the other on her stomach and smiled. The cashier giddily jumped for glee as if it were her own pregnancy to be happy about. Squall then reemerged from picking up the gum and the cashier squealed again."

"He's the father! The baby is going to be soo cute!" Squall and Rinoa looked at each other and let out a nervous laugh.

"Just a friend." Squall said with his hands raised, and the cashier looked disappointed.

"Oh...sorry!" She said sheepishly and rang up the groceries without another word. The couple got in the car and prepared for the disaster of cooking that was ahead of them.

At the house, it didn't go nearly as bad as Squall had initially imagined. Sure, a couple eggs were broken. But nother burned down, and the smoke detector only went off twice. That goes to show you how bad he assumed it was going to be...

But by the time one o'clock rolled around, Rinoa could somewhat make a respectable breakfast. She had perfected scrambled eggs, and was working on balancing runny and burnt eggs.

The roommates returned eventually, blowing the smoke out of the air in front of their faces. Selphie and Irvine were holding hands and Rinoa smiled. That was progress.

Quistis gave a curt nod to Rinoa. They were on polite speaking terms instead of ignoring, as Quistis slowly came to accept Rinoa's pregnancy. In fact, Quistis had been much more relaxed all around, and Selphie gossiped that there might be a man in her life. Quistis sat next to Squall and started a conversation as Rinoa observed everything intently. The way that Quistis playfully touched him when Squall said anything remotely un-serious, the sparkle in her eyes when she saw him. If Quistis DID have a man in her life, she wasn't very serious about him the way she flirted with Squall.

Rinoa felt a pang of guilt as she realized she was a little jealous that Squall was paying Quistis attention. She quickly shook it off. The older woman was allowed to flirt with whomever she wanted, as long as it wasn't Seifer. It wasn't Rinoa's business. Squall wasn't HER property.

Rinoa convinced herself that it wasn't a romantic jealousy she had felt, it was a jealousy similar to how a father holds his youngest in the air and the older one is tugging at his pants saying, 'Up! Up!' She was just the older child tugging with her jealousy. She brushed it off her shoulders and went upstairs to write another letter to Seifer, about her choice of a name.

_I knew Hyne would do this to me! A girl for cryin' out loud. I don't know what to do with those! I'm exhausted enough from the one I have! Kidding babe. Great news. Name ideas?_


	17. Jager

**Disclaimer: **meepmeep.

_That last chapter was posted really weird. I hate how laptops rearrange things randomly. The bottom italics of the chapter were supposed to be at the beginning...sorry for any confusion my stupid netbook may have caused._

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Rinoa took a sharp intake of breath as she brushed away tears again. It had been 22 days. 22 days since her last letter from Seifer. Normally they wrote frequently, she received a letter once every three or four days. But twenty-two days. That was too long. He couldn't be ignoring her...something must be wrong.

She turned on the bath water and lowered her aching, round body into it slowly. Taking a bath was the only thing she could do, to do anything. She didn't want to speak to anyone. She didn't want to go out. She didn't want to sit in her new car. She didn't want to try cooking. She didn't want to read. The only thing she could convince herself to do was to take a bubble bath.

The roommates knew something was wrong, but no one asked her what. They were aware of the fire and ferocity behind the hormones. She didn't even want to talk to Squall or Selphie. She just wanted to talk to Seifer. But that seemed impossible. Cid was not returning any calls either, and where Seifer and the troop were was a complete mystery to her. Even the heated bath couldn't substitute as an escape.

As she sank deeper into the bubbles, she flipped through the pages of one of her maternity books that was already growing to be worn. At this point, Rinoa may have already memorized the book, but she didn't care. To think of her unborn child did ease the pain for the absence of Seifer. It was even someone to talk to who already knew what was wrong. Someone she didn't have it in her to snap at, either.

It was her seventh month of pregnancy, and in the book, it talked about how wonderfully bonding the experience was for mother and father. But where was father? Off to war, and who knows when he was coming back.

What if he were injured? Or Hyne forbid, killed? Would there be monuments for the lost soldier, the lost father?

It was something she couldn't bear to think of.

Her life would fall apart right before it was strung together. Her nest would be crushed by an ugly war. Why did Seifer have to try to be so noble? She shouldn't blame him, really, but it isn't easy to help it. He could have decided not to go...but it was for their family. What a beautiful word, 'family.' Is it possible to have a family still with such a large part of it missing?

As the water swirled down the drain, she felt that all her hope was twisting down in it.

She ended the day as she had the past couple of weeks. With a tear-soaked pillow and an aching heart.

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Thirty days. Thirty days without a word from Seifer, over fifty days without seeing him. But his features were in her mind as clear as ever. Each distinct characteristic she crisply remembered coalesced into a picture of him in her mind. Though it was impossible, it seemed that everyday his side of the bed grew colder. She missed being warm, and being enveloped by adoration.

Today was the last day she was allowed to work at the restaurant, with doctor reccomendation. Business had really kicked up now that the weather was growing colder. More people clamoring for hot coffee, more people whose beds were too warm to wake up in time for breakfast. But Rinoa found that her face was as hard to move as drying cement. She could not smile, for she was losing an ounce of happiness with every moment she remembered Seifer was missing.

When she arrived home, there was no time wasted taking off her awful uniform and slipping into a cotton robe with slippers. She tried to lay in bed, but she felt suffocated by the listlessness of the room. The silence was a piercing scream. The walls seemed to be closing in around her. As she anxiously rubbed the pink sheets between her thumb and forefinger, the uneasiness became unbearable. Rising carefully and clicking the light off, Rinoa headed outside. There were no walls, and the wind was a quiet and soft noise.

As she sat on the cool cement, she watched as the leaves blew in the air. It was one of the last warmer nights they would have, yet it still felt frigid to her. She looked at the stars, dimly lit in a sky all too dark, and all too easy to get lost in. Where was the north star?

The wind tousled her hair, but she let the coolness wash over her. The cold wasn't so bad, and it seemed to ease the anxiety and frustration built up in her for just a second.

She felt the screen door open behind her, and she felt the familiar presence, the familiar cologne of Squall. These are things you grow to instantly recall when you begin to really know someone. It was nostalgic the way he sat next to her, as she was drowning in her neediness. He, like last time, did not stare at her, but merely fixed his eyes on a spot in the distance.

"You're worried, aren't you?"

Rinoa snorted at the obvious question. Squall ignored it. That's what she liked about him. He excused her emotion-driven behavior. "Have a little faith, Rinoa."

That was all it took.

Rinoa looked at him, and for once, he looked back. He made pure eye contact, directly at her, and the striking blue of his eyes could be seen and understood even in the dark. His tone was unsure, but sounded steady enough for her to latch onto. She looked back at him, and unlike last time, she let him see her cry. It started slowly with a tear she tried to blink away, but he grasped her by her shoulders and didn't let her brush her tears away. This made more of them fall until eventually, she looked down to her knees and shook with sadness as if it invaded her very bones.

Squall could have left her there. He was uncomfortable around emotion, around sadness, around ecstasy, around all of it. But he didn't. Rather, he did the most uncharacteristic thing Rinoa Heartilly had ever witnessed him do.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her. It happened so fast that she didn't realize for a second, and let out a quick gasp of air. Then she felt the strong support of a man's shoulder under her cheek, and wrapped her arms around him too. And she cried harder than she ever had before. She cried because Seifer was missing. She cried because she felt alone. And she cried from the sudden appreciation for the care of this person who had quickly become one of the best friends she had ever known.

It was the only thing she needed right now, to feel a little less alone and a little more support. It was surprising to have come from Squall, but he had done so much for her already. How did he so instinctually know that a shoulder to cry on would alleviate her burdened heart so easily?

He did not say anthing; He didn't need to. He only held her, and gripped her tighter each time her sobs grew in volume. And this is how they stayed until Rinoa had wept herself into exhaustion and only hiccupped on his shoulder, interrupted by a sniffle. Squall helped her stand up, and kept his arm around her until they reached her room. She looked at him one last time, before flinging her arms around his neck.

She said, though it was muffled by his jacket, "Thank you so much, Squall. I love you."

And then, like a flash of lightning, she was gone.

And what lightning it was to Squall. The whole room was illuminated and then it left. He went back to his own room and contemplated what he had just done.

It had killed him to see her moping around for what was now weeks. But he didn't have it in him to ask her what was wrong. To hear her speak the venom that so often poisoned his blood and made it run cold would hurt him even more. She seemed to lose her vibrant atmosphere, and it was a loss that he did not want to confront. But he did mourn to see her so torn.

But eventually, as he saw the life seep out of her eyes, and the brown grew from a rich, dark caramel to a troubled mud. He couldn't take it any longer. He needed to be by her side, to save her, to take away her pain. To be her knight.

And again, Squall found himself replacing Seifer by being there for Rinoa when she needed care. When he opened the door and saw her, his reluctance to console her was instantly effaced. The pale nape of her neck textured with chilly goosebumps, the vulnerable positioning of her slender arms wrapped around herself. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Sitting next to her, it was hard to find words to say. It was hard to look at someone who was experiencing an intense pain. When she looked at him, he grasped her out of neccessity. He needed her to know that he did not care if she cried. He would care for her if she was crying, he would care for her if she was smiling. He would take her as she is. He held her firmly so she would not brush away the tears. So she would show herself, rather than fight the emotions just because he couldn't experience them himself. When he saw the heavy black lashes crossed with beads of crystal tears, he couldn't control himself.

He held her, just as he had wanted to for a long while now. When he felt the angel crying, he wanted nothing more than to slay the dragon. But alas, that wasn't possible. She loved the dragon, not the knight.

And then, she said the three words that made him feel something. To smile a genuine smile, even though no one was around to put it on for. Yes, Rinoa was the first person to make him feel anything in a very long time.

He was sure the three little words were nothing different than what a younger sister would say to an older brother. But even if it was just that, he would be content. As long as he was given the opportunity to be around her. He had changed, for the better and that was sure. When she had flung her arms around his neck, he was speechless. But as the round stomach brushed against him at the same time he inhaled her lavender scent, he felt a pang of guilt. He didn't even dare to think it out loud, but he hated that baby. He hated that it would be the cement bond between her and Seifer until the day she died. No matter what happened, Seifer would forever be a part of Rinoa's life. Which meant as long as Rinoa was a part of Squall's life, Seifer was part of the package. As was that little baby.

Still, he didn't let this be the last thought on his mind when he went to sleep. He let the thought be the warm arms of that beautiful woman around him, embracing him as if he meant the world to her.

He slept well.

* * *

Squall stuck to Rinoa's side for a while after that. Even though she wasn't back to the way she was, she certainly had recovered a little bit, and felt a little less lost. He cooked her breakfast in the morning, which she gratefully devoured each time. He was quick with a joke whenever her attitude became downtrodden. The roommates picked up on this, and felt relieved that repairing Rinoa wasn't part of their duty.

For Halloween, Rinoa did as Zell asked and dressed her big, round stomach like a basketball. When she was passing out candy, all the children wanted to touch it. It reminded Rinoa of the optimism that was physically growing inside her. She had been so focused on Seifer that she had forgotten the approaching motherhood.

While she still wept and prayed for his return, she couldn't let herself feel empty. She was quite full with her daughter, thank you very much. There was only a little over a month until her daughter arrived, and Rinoa held onto both this and Squall as her rock to survive the ongoing disappearance of Seifer.

Rather than let her hope diminish, every time she checked the mailbox Rinoa let her hope grow a little stronger. She needed that hope if she was ever going to survive this.


	18. Mudslide

**Disclaimer:** Commence the not-owning.

_A/N: Thank you for the nice reviews. I love you! Had to get this chapter up ASAP. The end of the fluff!_

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It was Rinoa's eighth month of pregnancy. The last long-haul before her beautiful baby girl, now decidedly named Julia, would be born. Seifer was still missing, and Rinoa still felt numb. She had lost count of the days that he had not written to her. The days all seemed to blend together.

She missed him, that was an understatement. She felt as if she'd never see him again. It was hard imagining that her daughter would grow up fatherless. It was hard to think she lost her love.

But it was unfair to assume he was dead.

She had to keep on fighting, to keep on having hope. Just like Squall said, she needed to have faith. One day, maybe tomorrow, maybe next month, maybe next year, he'd come through the door. But then what? Where would she be, who would she be? If only she could have some finality. The best outcome would be to have him home with her right now. The worst would be to never hear of him again.

The roommates were all out of the house, and Rinoa was sitting quietly with Squall in the living room, who was keeping up with current events in the newspaper. She sat watching a romance movie with a salad sitting delicately on her stomach. She was finding such a curved extremity very useful for holding things. The phone rang and she grumbled. Squall looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

"You're closer."

She understood that this was the law of the land, and set down her plate. It took intense effort to raise her body out of the deep indent of the couch, but eventually she found it in her to wobble to the phone.

"Hello?"

It was Quistis. She was asking first what was going on, and then what there was for dinner, and then what the plans for tonight were. All the while, Rinoa was trying to see what was happening in her movie. But every curt end of discussion was continued by another question from Quistis, and Rinoa was getting extremely irritated. Finally, Rinoa had enough.

"Whoops, gotta go Quistis, my water broke!" Rinoa said quickly, hanging up the phone. Rinoa walked back into the room, smiling triumphantly. Squall had stood up and was looking around frantically. She cocked her head to the side.

"We have to get to the hospital!" Squall half-shouted.

Rinoa laughed, and Squall eased up a little bit, and looked confused.

"I only said that to get off the phone, my water didn't break."

Squall crossed his arms and looked as if he was on the verge of a scolding.

"Rinoa, that is not humorous in the least. They're probably rushing home right now!" He exclaimed, waving his arms.

"Oh...I didn't think of that." Rinoa said, holding her stomach, feeling it stir. Squall continued shouting, but Rinoa grew very quiet.

"You nearly sent me into a frenzy and - Are you listening to me?" Squall asked. Rinoa looked up at him with doe eyes.

"Squall...karma!" Rinoa shouted, and Squall looked at the pool of water on the ground.

"Oh, I am not falling for this." Squall said, sitting down.

"SQUALL!" Rinoa shouted, pointing at the puddle on the floor. "MY WATER JUST BROKE!"

"You're not going to scam me, Ms. Heartilly. You're only in your eigth month of pregnancy." He said, crossing his legs and opening up his newspaper.

Rinoa's face nearly went red. She waddled to the coat rack and put on her coat.

"What are you doing?" Squall asked non-chalantly. She stopped in her tracks.

"Well, Mr. Leonhart, I am driving myself to the hospital because apparently you won't help me out with that!"

Squall too paused. He stood up quickly and started talking in a low whisper. "Oh my god, oh my god, why me, oh my god."

Rinoa tossed him the car keys and he went to get the packed suitcase Rinoa had set up a month ago.

"It's only your eighth month, you can't be in labor!" Squall exclaimed during these frantic movements.

"Don't you think I know that Sq-Oh my god." She bent over in pain of a contraction, and screamed at him to start the timer.

When the contraction was over, he rushed her out the door. "You know," he started, "this is what happens when you cry wolf."

"Well, if you hadn't made ME get up and answer the phone, it probably wouldn't have happened..."

"That's not even possible...do you think that's really it?"

"Shut up and drive, Squall. Fast!"

Squall was always a particularly good driver, and everytime he stopped at the red octagon, Rinoa squealed at him to speed. There she was, in the most agonizing pain in her life, and he was worried about getting a ticket for running a stop sign.

"Ugh, I HATE him, Squall!" Rinoa shouted as one of her contractions seemed to die down. She was now starting to sweat and the contractions became more frequent. "How could he? How could he just up and go missing, he's going to be a father!"

"I'm sure he didn't intend to go missing-"

"As if it wasn't hard enough doing this. Did you know premature births are sometimes caused by stress and lack of social support? Huh? This is all his fault!" She screamed, banging the dashboard with her fists.

Squall knew she was being irrational, being in labor is a perfect excuse for things like that. But he couldn't help but feel a little pleased she had this slight turn on him. He had suppressed his feelings about the friendly 'I love you,' and he would about her hatred of Seifer right now. Even though all these things probably would have been said differently were they not driven by strong emotions, he still liked to imagine that in this moment, she insisted she meant it.

After reaching the hospital, Rinoa was soon admitted. Her screams became more ear-piercing and Squall cringed at each one. She had a tight grip on his jacket now, and Squall could only imagine the damage it would have done to his bones.

As she was being taken into the delivery room, Squall stopped at the doors. She looked at him with large eyes.

"YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE ME! LIKE THIS!" She pointed to the stir-ups, and he inwardly shuddered at the gore that was promised to him beyond this point. But he couldn't let her do this alone. And if Seifer wasn't around, nor was her best friend Selphie, then the duty was most certainly rested upon his shoulders. With a deep breath, he stepped in.

He held onto her fragile hand that didn't seem so fragile anymore as she pushed. She would scream to him from time to time, "Ice, I need ice!" and he would bring her a cup full of chips.

He held onto her squeezing hand and brushed her hair tenderly as she moaned with the insufferable pain. She surely was regretting not choosing to have an epidural. Her black hair was sticking to her white skin and he kept brushing it out of her eyes, that were tightly shut. Every bone in his hand was on fire, but he would not take it away from her. She needed him, right now. He liked the sound of that better than 'she needed someone.'

This was when the guilt hit him for saying he hated the baby. She was going through all this for her child, and if she loved it, then he loved it too. All those months of her watching her diet, lightly exercising, putting headphones on her stomach. They were all for this little Julia. All the care only strengthened the dominant worry that because she was premature, she might not be as okay as everyone thought.

Rinoa, panting looked up at him with tears and worry. "I can't do this."

Her whisper was raspy and low. It pervaded his skin, muscles and flesh, until he felt the deep pang of hurt she was feeling at the same moment. Squall didn't know if she was referring to the delivery, or the big picture. Either way, he knelt to her level to look her in the eye. Her sunken eyes, her moist skin, her swollen lips. He could kiss her right now, but knew that it would only add more to all that was running through her head.

He looked her in the eyes, and calmly said, "everything is going to be alright, Rinoa."

She nodded with eyes brimming with tears and kept pushing. Seven hours later, Rinoa still fighting her exhaustion, Squall heard the glorious shout of, "Just one more push, Ms. Heartilly!"

Squall smiled, but knew that they weren't out of the woods just yet. Rinoa seemed on the borderline of passing out. This final push would be the toughest. He leaned in close to her and told her she could do it.

Just then the doors burst open. A shout much less glorious came from the beautiful woman's lips next to him.

"Seifer!"

There he stood, with fire in his eyes. Seifer Almasy, battered and bruised. There was a bandage around his head and hands, some of which had soaked through with blood. His eyes had dark rings around them as if he hadn't slept in weeks. His lips were pale and cracked, his hair damp. He saw Rinoa laying on the bed with Squall holding her hand.

"Outta the way." Seifer said, much less a command than a statement. He shoved Squall aside and he felt Rinoa's grasp loosen on his hand. The doctors looked around frantically.

"One of you has to leave." The doctor said as calmly as possible, bringing back the fact that they still had a task. Squall and Seifer's eyes locked, and everyone in the room but Rinoa, who was much too focused on the fact she was giving birth, felt the heat radiating off them. Everyone was aware at the situation at hand. This was the boyfriend, and Squall was 'just the friend.' Seifer instantly saw right through Squall, and Squall felt his heart pierce. He closed his eyes and nodded gracefully. Without looking at Rinoa once more, he turned and left the room.

Sitting in the waiting room, he almost felt like crying. This is something he hadn't done in a very, very long time. But he couldn't let that happen. He felt like HE was the one who should be in there. He was the one who took care of Rinoa these past months. Not that dirty bastard.

Meanwhile, Rinoa had given birth to Julia Almasy, a beautiful baby girl. Before Rinoa could hold her, she was whisked away to be taken care of, to have tests run. To make sure she would survive being prematurely born, Rinoa could not ask to hold her. But she had another joy to embrace until she could hold onto her warm daughter. Seifer was back, and she had a lot of questions for him. But right after she told him the name, he smiled, kissed her forehead, and went into the waiting room.

By now, the rest of the roommates had arrived. Seifer proudly announced to them all, "Welp, I'm a dad folks."

Even the strangers in the waiting room smiled, and Selphie and Quistis both ran up to hug him, while the men went to shake his hand. Squall stood in line to do this as well.

As Squall grabbed Seifer's bandaged hand, much less delicate than Rinoa's, he looked Seifer dead in the eye. While Seifer still had a smirk on, Squall's hard eyes softened. Seifer had won. He had come back, and he had won just by doing so.

Seifer was a father now. The father to Rinoa's child. And Squall couldn't take it anymore. He left the waiting room, and the hospital.

He couldn't let all those people see him cry.


	19. Blended

**Disclaimer: **Don't own the beautiful creation this story is based off of, FFVIII

_This chapter puts a little of a damper on the Squinoa fluff, but this will soon return. Slowly but surely, we're coming full circle. I told you it'd be sorta long...heheh._

Rinoa looked in the glass at her little, beautiful, Julia. She was hooked up to machines, but Rinoa had never seen anything more perfect in her life. Seifer was standing next to her, and she felt very complete. Her and Seifer agreed to continue the discussino after all her friends had visited her.

The hospital flowers and pink balloons added a spirit to the room that elated her spirits. As did the doctor's promise that for being a premature baby, Julia was just fine and Rinoa would be able to take her home in a few weeks. Rinoa's face had now been cleaned and freshened. Her wet bangs swept to the side, a smile plastered on her face. Color had been restored, and a small blush rested on her skin now. She was happy.

Selphie came to her bedside, jumping with glee. Quistis congratulated her as well. Zell and Irvine cracked jokes about how they were 'uncles' now. Rinoa's smile faltered slightly when she realized Squall hadn't come to see her too. She decided he might still be grossed out by the whole 'giving birth' thing. It made her smile and brush the thought away for a moment.

When everyone had left, Seifer sat down quietly next to Rinoa.

"You have so explaining-"

"God damn it, I know Rinoa." Seifer intervened. She bit her lip at his aggression. It left a bad taste in her mouth. They were supposed to be rejoicing.

Rinoa made her voice quiet. "What happened, Seifer?"

He closed his eyes and leaned his head on the cold tile. He obviously had been through hell and back. And she needed to know every single detail. She needed a reason, or at the very least, an excuse.

"I was stationed in a country where things had turned ugly. A rebel started against SeeD intervention with government regulations on citizens. The poor bastards didn't even know how bad they had it." Seifer let out a cruel laugh. He wouldn't look at Rinoa. "The government went as far as regulating marriages, births to a family, and had constant cameras running all over the city to survey the citizens. And they didn't even believe us..."

Rinoa held out her hand for him to hold, but he didn't seem to notice.

"So with our intervention, the rebel cause started up against us. It brought the attention of the military, and one of the nights when we were about to rest, they attacked...they attacked the home of the people we were staying with..."

Seifer's voice didn't crack. It was completely cold.

"They fucking murdered the man's son. Right in front of me. I couldn't even...I couldn't even stop it. It all happened so quick. And the daughter...Those fucking tyrants!" Seifer smashed his fist against the wall, and the echo shook the room. But Seifer didn't cry. Seifer didn't shake. The radiant anger on him was overbearing. "They knocked me out...butt of the gun. They tied me up and...well you can guess what happened next. But I couldn't tell them. We had to wait until another group of SeeDs could liberate us."

"I'm so sorry, Seifer." Rinoa whispered, resting her hand on his arm.

"Not as sorry as I am..." Like a switch, his mood changed. "But I have a beautiful daughter to look forward to. And a beautiful girlfriend."

Rinoa smiled again, and he leaned over and kissed her.

"How'd you decide on a name, anyhow?" He asked kindly, letting her rest her head on his shoulder.

"Squall actually helped me pick it out." Rinoa couldn't see, but Seifer's eyes flashed darkly.

There was a moment of silence between the two, that Rinoa didn't understand. She could feel the aura around him that she often felt when he was getting upset.

"You know, I think it'd be better if you stayed away from him for a while." He could feel her attention snap.

"And why's that?"

"Because he seems to be getting a little bit too cozy to you, for my liking." He heard Rinoa snort and inwardly groaned at his choice of such a stubborn woman.

"Well, Seifer, he did help me a LOT these past couple of months. He took care of me. You should be grateful-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well it won't matter much now." He said to her, and again she had confusion in her face. He answered her question before he asked. "Because of the mission, and my injury, Cid did secure us a home, close to where I'll be working."

Rinoa couldn't help but smile. She had forgotten why all these awful things happened. It was for their lives to progress. A house of their very own...entirely paid off...and they had their child. Everything was set up now.

"Where will you be working anyway?"

"Near Trabia."

Rinoa frowned. She knew the distance of Trabia from...well, anywhere else. This was slowly but surely feeling a little less glamorous than she had hoped. But nevertheless, it wasn't like they could stay living with the roommates. It wasn't a proper environment to raise a child in. However, she did fully intend on keeping in touch with all the roommates. There was too much of a closeness that intertwined her with all of them that could be severed by mere distance. Hell, Selphie would love to come and visit them, Trabia was where she grew up. And she turned out all right...

The lingering pain she had felt during her pregnancy about the loss of a youthful lifestyle had diminished within her now completely. She would go to Trabia, with her boyfriend and her daughter, and be a part of the happy family she knew she could be. She looked at him and smiled. His attitude disappeared and when he kissed her, she felt he was the same Seifer again.

"Okay," she said. "Trabia it is."

He laughed and gave her a content look, and beneath all the bandages, he was as handsome as ever to Rinoa.

"I knew you'd be okay with it." He reached into his pocket and held both her hands. "I know I'm not the romantic-fuzzy kinda guy, Rin."

He opened his closed hand, and resting in the palm of it was a thin gold band with intricate, floral metal work resting on top. In the center was a small, but sparkling diamond.

"Will you marry me?"

Rinoa's jaw dropped and she covered her mouth with her hands. She looked back down at the ring. Never, in a million years, would she have imagined Seifer to do this all on his own. Nodding yes, Rinoa brushed her tears away and embraced him. Putting the ring on, it was a little tight but she would manage. And oh, how it sparkled. Everything was perfect to her right now. She had the life she never knew she wanted, but would love more than anything else.

It was a drizzly morning as Squall looked out the window. He was never one for day-dreaming, but that had changed recently. When the reality wasn't how you wanted it to be, what was wrong with a little bit of dreaming? When he woke up, first as always, he would trudge downstairs and start the coffee pot. He would look at the empty kitchen table and hear the echo of familiar laughs. They would soon be taken away from him. He wasn't pleased.

The baby was beautiful, just like her mother. But Squall hadn't went to see either of them since Seifer returned. Why get even closer to what is going to leave you?

He felt as if that was his baby in the hospital. He had taken care of both Rinoa and Julia for a couple months, better than Seifer ever did. It gave him a fresh burn in his chest he hadn't felt before, that he loved them both and couldn't have them. He asked himself every day he woke up, and every day he went to sleep, "Why does it have to be this way?"

Helplessly, he splashed and gasped for air as he drowned in the situation, completely engulfed by it as it stung his lungs and froze his skin.

This hurt wouldn't go away for a long time, he realized. And everyday he saw that damn ring that just made the thorns further embedded into him. She would never be his. The realities he had pushed so far in the back of his mind now had burst through the walls. She didn't actually love him, not like that. He wasn't her knight. He was just silly ol' Squall, substitute caretaker.

Seeing Seifer made him want to vomit. And yet, he felt a stronger need to protect Rinoa from him. Seifer was a little bit different now, though Squall was unaware of what Seifer had been through during his SeeD mission. His personalities seemed to change quickly now, and he was more easily offended than before.

But Rinoa seemed ignorantly blissful of this. Ever since they had come home from the hospital with baby Julia, she was walking on air. It made Squall even more envious. Didn't Seifer see this glowing part of his life? Julia had to stay in the hospital for two weeks more before she could be taken home, but now that she was around, Squall felt his heart-strings tug even more. But never once did he get in line to hold her.

Ever since Rinoa came home, she had started packing what few things she had. They had a house now, far away in Trabia. Squall wasn't sure he'd even see her again. He didn't know if he'd want to see her again. He wasn't one of those people who liked to stare at things he couldn't have.

They had spoken occassionally since, but not like before. She constantly had the little child in her arms, and Squall was too afraid to be offered to hold it. He knew his heart would break. So he avoided both Rinoa and the baby like the plague, once catching her confused look as he immediately entered and exited a room. She never did ask him about it however, so he got the gist that she didn't care.

The cardboard moving boxes depressed him as he felt like he wasted every 24 hours that dripped into his palms. The diamond wedding ring she wore depressed him and made him feel like he was wasting his life. He never spoke to her, and he didn't try to stop her. He most certainly knew not to cross the boundary to tell her how he felt.

So for now, he would ignore his feelings. It's the only way he's ever handled them.

* * *

It was the last day. The last day in the house, and Rinoa was both saddened and excited. Selphie was, for once, being entirely silent while loading the boxes in the car. The men were drinking one last beer with Seifer on the back porch. Squall and Quistis were drinking coffee at the kitchen table. She heard Quistis playfully exclaim, "That's great Squall!"

Rinoa, closeby, smiled and asked, "What's great?"

"Squall's getting his own place!"

Rinoa stopped smiling and looked at Squall strangely, who kept his eyes straight ahead of him, reverting to his old ways. "Oh really?"

Quistis nodded and excused herself as she went to go read her mail. Rinoa stood for a second and then sat in the now empty seat.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked softly, gazing directly at him. He still didn't meet her eyes. She continued. "It's great news, really. But hey, you helped me pick out baby names, I should get to help you choose a house!"

He didn't smile at the joke, and Rinoa felt a small ache at his distance. He did reply, however.

"I didn't think I was obliged to tell you."

Rinoa felt hurt in place of the warmth she used to feel towards their friendship. She wanted to voice this, but felt an invisible blockade, a knot in her throat.

"I don't want to lose contact with you." She whispered. This time he did look at her, and he tried to smile.

For the second time he told her to have a little more faith.

She smiled and brushed away watering eyes, but this time they weren't tears of misery or of angst. They were appreciation of his company while it lasted, appreciation of all of the roommates company. Some of them, she might lose contact with. But none of them would be forgotten. After saying her goodbyes to the rest of the house, Rinoa opened the door to find a new situation that had been forgotten.

Sitting on the front steps was a white woven bassinet. It had a silky interior and was bordered with a pristine white lace. It was beautiful, much more beautiful than the ones in the store. She held little Julia closer as she bent down to peer into it, and saw a note left on the pillow.

_Rinoa,_

_I'm sorry for my behavior. Congratulations on having a healthy baby girl. I'm sure she's beautiful. As for being a grandfather...I'm ready if you're ready to let me._

_I never stopped loving you._

_Your father._

Her smile couldn't grow any bigger. Her father hadn't forgot about her. Though he had cut her off, she learned the importance of working hard. All the reasons she ever had, for committing any action in her life, were now seen in a different light. She found it hard to hate her father now. Being a mother, her views on everything were completely changed.

Rinoa felt her full life grow even fuller. As she closed this chapter of her life, she remembered she was once worried if she had the appropriate preparations to be grown. It wasn't even a question now. She had a healthy support system and she had learned a lot. The next chapter was awaiting, and she couldn't wait to see what was in it.

How young and naive.


	20. Tequila

**Disclaimer: **Refer to first chapter.

_I decided to divide this story into separate parts. The first part, obviously chapters 1-19, all summarized Rinoa's life prior to motherhood. The prelude of the troubles to come. The calm(if you can call it that) before the storm. The second part, starting at chapter 20, will summarize Rinoa's new life, moved away from her friends and in essence, her youth. This is, or will become, the storm._

_Special thanks to my reviewers, cheeriolord and Whatever41269. You both influenced me to update so soon. _

_**LEMON AHEAD - TO AVOID, STOP READING AT BOLD, START READING AFTER NEXT BOLD.**_

_**I.E., **__**START **_sour lemony lemoness _**END**_

_Tequila. A strong drink with 100 proof, often diluted with water. But some things are too harsh to dilute._

**- Part Two -**

Rinoa took one step into their new home and noticed one thing. The carpet.

The carpet was (or used to be) a cream white, but now looked matted and grey. There were stains all over it, and it made Rinoa not want to take her shoes off, let alone let Julia crawl on it one day. But that was a problem for another day.

Now the problem was setting up the new home with the extra responsibilites of taking care of Julia. They started this by painting. Seifer would paint one room, while Rinoa stayed on the far side of the house, away from the fumes. When all the rooms were painted, Rinoa then could start aiding him. She happily accepted the task of decorating the home. Soon, however, she was disappointed by the lack of funding for this project. While Julia was purchased the best crib money could buy, she found that she could only afford a shabby, brown suede couch and a less-than-satisfactory sized television. The bed carried the pink sheets Rinoa had purchased almost a year ago, before her life was flipped upside down.

But she did not focus on the small square footage of the house, or the less than luxurious furniture. These things took time to build and improve. As long as Julia was set for now.

What Rinoa most adored about her beautiful little girl were her striking, green eyes. They were the color of the glassy green ocean, and resembled Seifer's to every detail. As for her hair, it was thin and black much like her own. What a heart breaker, her girl would be.

When they were settled in with the mere essentials, life for the two started. While Rinoa couldn't dream to go back to work yet with such a young baby and no friends to take care of her, Seifer woke up at nine every day, and came home at six. Rinoa tried her best to start cooking, and soon got the hang of it after remembering a couple tips and tricks from Squall.

One day, she woke up blissfully with the sun shining through the blinds, making little dashes upon where she slept. Rinoa checked the time. Ten a.m., Seifer had already gone to work. Small murmurs were heard on the baby monitor, and Rinoa new it was time for feeding. She picked up her daughter gently, and kissed her forehead. These were little manuevers the child wouldn't learn to appreciate, for it could only focus on the fact that the food bearer was around.

So Rinoa sat in the rocking chair and fed her young one, looking out at the beautiful sky. She hadn't even had time to look around the place yet, she had been so busy. The only trips she made out of the house were to the grocery store. Because of Seifer's absence, she was chained to the house from nine to six. She didn't mind it so much, for she did have quite the company.

She made her daily phone call to Selphie, and started cleaning the house. Seifer had a tendency of leaving his laundry everywhere, and it was quite difficult finding it sometimes. It seemed easy now to take on responsibilities she thought she would forget. It was a pleasant surprise.

For dinner that evening, she felt more exhausted than usual, and started on some hamburger helper. It was done and waiting on the table when Seifer arrived. He hungrily devoured it, and somewhere within the bites she thought she heard a thank you. While she did the dishes, he set holding Julia in the rocking chair, watching the news. Rinoa smiled. They were a family, and she could happily call Seifer her fiancee now.

After laying Julia down to sleep, she went to put on a nightshirt and brushed her teeth. When she crawled into bed, Seifer was waiting. She had went so many months without him being there, it was almost a new and enlightening feeling. She kissed him softly and went to turn to sleep, but he kissed her again, roughly.

She laughed a little at his eagerness, and let his kisses trail down her neck, and stopped them at the curve of her breast. She knew exactly what he wanted, and she wasn't to keen on it.

"Seifer, it's only been two weeks. I need to at least have a postnatal exam before we have sex again." Seifer sighed and rested his head on her chest.

"C'mon Rin, it'll be fine. I'll be gentle." Seifer complained, but Rinoa was certainly not accepting it. She still didn't feel even halfway healed. Perhaps if he had witnessed the entire labor, he'd feel a little differently about sex so soon.

"No, Seifer. And besides, I don't want to get pregnant again so soon. I'm not taking any chances, we don't have any condoms, I'm not on birth control, and you are _certainly _not sterile." She emphasized.

"I have condoms, they're in my wallet." She sat up now, and clicked the lamp on.

"When did you buy condoms, Seifer?" She almost hissed, feeling a heat rise through her body.

"In the drug store, the other day." He shrugged, turning around.

"You knew full well that we wouldn't be able to have sex-"

"I just wanted to be prepared, geez." He exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "What's so wrong with that?"

"Nothing...I just don't know why you got your hopes up." She declared, and turned off the light, flopping down on the bed. She felt a little angry that he expected sex out of her when she felt so...abnormal. A pregnancy, let alone a birth, took a lot out of a woman.

"God, you're so paranoid." Seifer said, climbing under the covers.

"Seifer, I'm not ready yet." She said exhaustedly, hoping he would quit instigating her.

"That's what you said the first time, but boy you changed your mind."

Rinoa jolted up, turned on the light, and flung off the covers. She had her hands on her hips looking at the man, who normally would playfully say he was kidding, but kept a distinctly unapologetic face.

"Seifer Almasy, you listen to me-"

"No, Rinoa _Caraway, _you listen to me. The whole god damn world isn't about you. I've been fucking celibate for the past nine months because YOU didn't want to have sex, and now all I want is a little relief." He shouted. Her face reddened, and she kept her voice low.

"You will NOT shout in this house again, there is a baby in the other room, you insensitive prick. And I told you, I can NOT have sex. Do you know how much bruises and tears in the-"

"Yes, I fucking know how woe is you." Seifer interrupted, taking a step closer to her. "The least you could do is offer me a blow job, christ, I've been so patient with YOUR needs. Now you have a house, your wedding ring, I'm giving you everything! And you can't even volunteer your time for a little bit of pleasure? Don't be so fucking selfish." He hissed at her, each bit of venom cutting a new wound in her delicate skin. She felt the familiar knot in her mouth that would only leave if a sob escaped, but she choked it down when she spoke.

"I am tired, Seifer. I'm not doing this tonight." She calmly slid back under the covers and put the pillow over her head, using her arm to secure it firmly. Only seconds later however, it was torn from her hands.

"No, we're not doing this when you say we do it, how come I can't have any say in ANYTHING?" He yelled to her. Rinoa through her hands up in the air. Obviously he had ignored the yelling rule.

"You had a say in a lot of things, Seifer! For one, we're living in Trabia, that's a biggie isn't it!" Seifer knocked over the books Rinoa kept on the dresser in his rage. She clenched her fists around the sheet.

"Oh, so I got us a house in Trabia, that's a big ol' deal. I didn't get to choose whether we kept the baby, did I?"

Rinoa stood to scream back at him.

"You take that back right this second, you...you..."

"What am I Rinoa? Not so big and scary now, huh? At a loss for words?" Rinoa was about to scream again until she heard a cry on the baby monitor.

"Damn it Seifer!" She said grabbing her hair in fistfuls.

"Oh, woe is you, isn't it Rinoa? Go ahead, go get the baby and complain about that some more." He antagonized as she stormed past him, nearly in tears. She picked up Julia and rocked her for ten minutes until the baby calmly went back to sleep. Rinoa then stormed back into the room, not yet done with Seifer, and she saw him already dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" She said, poking his chest. He grabbed her hand in a fist and squeezed. He looked her right in the eyes angrily.

"I'm going to the bar, because even though Mom right here wants to go to bed, I'm not ready to sleep."

After a small struggle, Rinoa yanked her hand free from his fist.

"Why are you going to the bar? Your old lady won't put out for you, and you need to go find a new one?" She marched to the bedside table and threw his wallet at his chest. "Take your fucking condoms with you."

"Maybe I will." He said, jamming the wallet into his pocket. He swiftly left the room and Rinoa kicked the door shut, making a small dent in the process. He started the car, her car, and she sunk to the ground in agony. She didn't want him to cheat on her. She couldn't have that. And Rinoa would do anything to prevent that.

She rushed to the phone and called his mobile.

"Hello?" He hastily answered, irritated.

"Come back." She choked, almost in unwilling sobs.

"Why should I?" He spat. She closed her eyes and quickly wiped away tears.

"I'll...I'll try to make you happy." She said, angry at the thought that she was giving in to his demands.

"That's more like it." He snapped the mobile shut, and soon the headlights appeared in the driveway. He came in the room and she let him kiss her on the cheek. She felt dirty, almost disgusted with herself. She conceded only to oral, not sex. He was entirely pleased with this fact.

**Not **having done it in a long time, she dropped to her knees while he sat on the bed. His eyes watched her every move intently, but she didn't like it. They were eyes that expected a porn star, not a new mother. He roughly grabbed her sore breast and he must have mistaken her painful groan for a moan of pleasure, for he didn't stop. She slowly slipped him into her mouth and looked for his appeal. She continued to bob up and down, almost gagging each time. He didn't care anymore, he just bucked his hips to thrust himself in deeper, and her eyes were tearing from the constant gagging. He barely let her do any of the work, but he grabbed the back of her head with his hand and continued thrusting until, without warning, she felt him finish and wanted to throw up at the taste. Swallowing the sickening moisture was the hardest work she had done all **day.**

He smiled, and panted now relieved from the tension he had felt. He changed back into his pajamas, while Rinoa merely laid on the bed with the covers almost entirely enveloping her. Seifer slipped under the sheets and kissed the back of her head. He whispered an 'I love you.'

She let the poisonous, regretful words of _'Yeah right.' _run through her head before she fitfully dozed off to sleep.


	21. Red Wine

**Disclaimer: **Not mine!

_A/N: So long, so long. I probably never would've added another chapter if it weren't for KAMIKAZERAMEN messaging me. Thank you so much! Also, this is an establishing chapter for future chapters. I have plenty of these. Things will heat up soon. I'll try to keep adding, especially with your peer pressure ;) and before we begin...way to go Red Wings :D_

_Red Wine - A drink for parties and gathering, games and conversation. Strangers easily become friends by this luxury._

* * *

Several months had passed since Rinoa and Seifer's terrible argument. She had gotten used to the routine by now. Julia was now five months old, and terribly beautiful. Rinoa didn't regret a single day that she lived waking up with Julia in her life.

When she woke up, Seifer was not there. He came home to dinner, he watched t.v., he held Julia for a bit, and he went went to bed. This was all excluding the evenings that he went out with his work buddies. She hated these nights, and hated that he never gave a recap, reason, or excuse. It was nights like these that she felt he was an anonymous father. But then she remembered that he had given her a great gift, and she was blessed to hold her every single day.

But it felt like she was losing touch with the world outside of their home, and outside of Julia. She hadn't seen Selphie since the baby was born, and the only adult human contact she had otherwise was with Seifer. Rinoa had asked multiple times if Seifer felt it was fine if Selphie visited. His repetitive reply was, "No, the house isn't finished yet." Rinoa accepted this, because looking around, she was ashamed of it herself. It was a nest made of cigarette butts.

Presently, she ignored the disgust of her abode. She was curled inside, wearing a pink robe that was growing too shabby too quick. Her hair, disheveled. Her coffee, steaming. The outside world looked an entirely different place. When the fog disappated from the glass, one could see the first snow of the year setting in. It laid out like a fresh clean sheet over the world, contrasting against the black bark of the leaf-forsaken tree outside. The scene was untouched by man and foe, and it saddened Rinoa to know that soon there would be blackened slush from cars driving by, and dirty footprints from people who don't stay in the warm.

Feeling depressed, she grabbed the phone as she did in all times of need. She called Selphie's phone, and was directed to voicemail. Unsatisfied, she called the house. A familiar, monotonous voice answered.

"Hello?"

Rinoa felt almost a blockade in her throat, of joy and terror. Seifer didn't want her to talk to Squall...but she had missed him so bad. His wisdom was something she really could've used these past couple of months raising her brand new daughter. Besides, Seifer wasn't here, and she never was able to meet his friends to judge whether she wanted them around.

"Uhm, hey Squall. It's Rinoa."

"I know the voice well." His calm exterior resonated through static, through her hand, and to her heart. The familiarity was something she lacked in an entirely new life.

"How've things been going?" She continued.

"Well. Is your cooking terrible?" He asked. She laughed at his initial rough comment.

"Ouch, that one hurt! And just so you know, I learned to make casserole!" She said while laughing, and heard no laugh on the other end. This wasn't strange to her however. His laughs were far and few. If you found a diamond everyday, wouldn't it begin to lose it's worth?

"Oh, casserole. Now you've really become a housewife." Her day already grew a little brighter despite the joke at her expense.

"I could've told you that. Life sure is more dull without all my roommates."

"Well, maybe one day Seifer'll let you out of the house. Or let us in." Squall this time let out a laugh, that wasn't so much jolly as it seemed cruel. She couldn't really muster a laugh back, because the words rang with a sense of truth. She really did feel trapped here, here in this dirty place with no companionship. A sense of diappointment swelled in her head and seemed to push out tears. Rinoa was achingly happy at this moment that tears weren't audible. Pulling herself together, without so much as a sniff, she decided to end the coversation.

"I think I hear Julia crying, I'll talk to you guys later." Rinoa quickly said, and thought she almost heard a musky 'bye' as she hung up the phone. But for once, it wasn't Julia out of the two of them that was crying.

Later that evening, Seifer came home and ate, while Rinoa rocked her daughter with her eyes glued to the t.v. He must've called her name several times before she snapped out of her trance to look at him. He had his arms reached out to hold Julia. She sighed and gave her little one to his big arms, and she let him have her seat in the rocking chair. She curled up on the couch, and let her feet hang over, playing with her hair.

"What's wrong?" He asked briskly. She looked over and let out a weak smile. He actually noticed.

"I've just been feeling a little lonely, that's all." He didn't look at her after she said it, but he nodded.

"You know, I have a friend at work, he's always asking if you and I would like to come over for dinner. I always tell him no, because I figured you wouldn't want to have to find a sitter. But Julia's gotten big enough that maybe you could bring her along. Or they can come here." He said it without noticing her perked head or flushed cheeks.

"But I thought you said the house..."

"I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I think we have enough in the account to upgrade the place a little. Carpet, new couch, or maybe furnish the patio or something." She looked at him with a lowered jaw and tried to hide her feelings of irritation.

"Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

"Because I just thought of it, sheesh. I got tomorrow off. If you want to go look and shit, we'll go then." He ended the conversation by handing Julia to her. While Rinoa was rubbed the wrong way by his brutish manner, she was elated at the idea of human contact. When she crawled into bed later that evening, she kissed Seifer lightly on the cheek and whispered her gratitude in his ear. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. This was the Seifer she knew and loved. He was warm, he was safe, and he cared to make her happy. What more could a woman want in a future husband?

The next day, Rinoa woke up earlier than usual. She retrieved a bucket and cleaning supplies from under the sink to set to work on the house. She wasn't yet comfortable enough to take Julia around where she didn't have all the supplies to take care of her, so Seifer's work friends would just have to come here. Sighing, she started bleaching all that could be bleached, scrubbing all that needed to be scrubbed, sweeping everything she could sweep. When Seifer woke up, she took to vaccuming the carpet as well. After fixing him breakfast and anxiously pacing as he took his time with his coffee, she finally convinced him that NOW was the time to go shopping.

* * *

_I'm such an idiot._

Squall was sitting by himself on the outdoor patio. It was cold, but he never had a problem with that. Hell, he liked the physical feeling of numbness. He felt like it could profit him emotionally too. Because emotionally, he was burning.

She was so happy on the phone before he'd said something.

But what could he say? He was with the woman every day, and now he hadn't seen her in five months and twenty-six days. He hadn't even talked to her until that phone call.

Who was he to just marr her happy life? What would a glowing, engaged mother want to do with a quiet, sarcastic bore like himself anyway? She had her own life now, and it was her choice that he wasn't a part of it. What use was he to her?

He needed to go. Go far away.

He knew what he was anticipating when he fell in love with a taken woman. But he hadn't known the intensity. Any person can say, 'yeah, that'll hurt.' But until you can feel it, until you can tangibly understand exactly the strain it would put on your heart...you don't anticipate it and you don't know it.

But what hurt the most is that he knew he was the better man and that he had lost. Seifer didn't seem right after he returned form the SeeD mission, he seemed off. Dangerous. Too dangerous to be around Rinoa. Seifer always had a short fuse, and it seems like someone had made the bomb bigger. But Squall could not save her, or warn her. She wouldn't listen, it would be futile.

It was too engraved in Rinoa's romantic head that she was going to get married, raise a family, and grow old without wrinkling. Has she ever imagined yet that maybe things won't be perfect?

He looked at the empty spot next to him on the patio step. A cold wind blew and further isolated Squall from the world. He felt his skin grow bumpy and his hair stand on end. He wanted to show someone this effect, he wanted to shout at them, 'See! I told you...I told you I was human.'

But he would have to abandon this idea the moment he went inside. The happy roommates inside didn't have time for the brooding of an ignorant man, of a lost lover. He was the winter gray of a world otherwise vibrant.

* * *

Rinoa had just finished the perfect touch on her self-proclaimed 'famous' grilled chicken when the door bell rang. She dropped the spatula in shock.

She had a door bell?

Looking in the mirror one last time while passing through the wall, she put one curl back into place and straightened her crisp blue sweater. She thought she looked lovely in the slim, off the shoulder cut and hoped she would impress whoever walked in. It was an outfit Selphie had put together, and Selphie had excellent taste in impressing people. On the way to the door, she reviewed all the information Seifer had given her about the couple that was coming over.

_Frank and Tracy: Married 2 years. Both grew up in Trabia. No plans for kids. Tracy works at a SeeD office. Frank works with Seifer...cigar man...likes cowboy boots...walks...beach..._

Her mind overheated and she decided to just try to be herself. It's not like it's the first time she had ever seen people before. She was real loveable in school, or so she liked to think.

Overcoming her hesitation, Rinoa opened the door.

The couple stood side by side as if presenting each other with their arms intertangled. They seemed to be like one human with six limbs. In Tracy's left hand, there was a bottle of wine. In Frank's right hand there were two cigars.

Frank had black hair that was combed in the same manner as Seifer. His eyebrows were thick, but well groomed. His stubble was still dark and he had a strong masculine jaw. He was tall, intimidatingly so, with broad shoulders that made Rinoa feel as if he could pick her up with two fingers and break her just as easily. He was athletic, and would be considered handsome by many women.

Tracy was tall in her own right, though it seemed miniscule next to her husband. She was very busty, and made this abundantly so with a bright red dress that hoisted her breasts to her collar bone. She was curvacious and made Rinoa feel as though she should never be confident in her own body again. She had blonde hair with feathered bangs and bright red lipstick that Rinoa knew would make a mark on her clean glasses. It was her initial reaction to dislike this young woman, but she pushed all feelings aside with the overflowing gratitude that she had company.

"Bonjour!" Tracy energetically shouted to Rinoa, as she embraced her in a too familiar hug, kissing each of Rinoa's cheeks. Rinoa immediately felt the residue of make-up on her face and hoped she didn't look ridiculous afterwards. Tracy released her and walked into the house, and Rinoa heard her trailing voice saying, "That's how they do it in the foreign countries!"

Frank took Rinoa's petite hand in his oversized claw and smiled, saying more coyly, "Pleased to meet you."

Rinoa was much more fond of the pleasant and calm greeting. Rinoa heard the shuffling of Seifer around, and showed Frank to the kitchen. Tracy was checking her lipstick in Rinoa's clean spoon while Seifer was facing the glasses cupboard, fiddling with the wine bottle. Rinoa grimaced that Tracy had already used up a cloth napkin on her lipstick. She sat down at the table, her seat being directly across from Frank's, and she invited the others to do the same.

"Oh, Rinoa, this looks delicious! I wish I could cook to save my life!" Tracy exclaimed, pouring herself a glass of wine. She then offered the bottle to Rinoa, who shook her head politely. Tracy's jaw dropped. "Why not Rinoa, it's real good! Not much of a drinker?"

Rinoa shook her head with a smile. She found that Tracy reminded her of Selphie in a little way, and it made her more bearable. Almost likeable.

"I don't drink too much, especially since I'm still feeding Julia." Rinoa tried to politely leave the word 'breast' out of the conversation so that not all attention was drawn to Tracy's pair of them.

"Good point, welp, more for me! Good thing Frank over here is driving!" She giggled and leaned her head on his shoulder. "You are missin' out though, s'real good. From another country." Tracy's glass was emptying fast, much faster than her nibbled on plate. Frank however, devoured the food. He and Seifer had their cute little internal jokes that no one else could now about because 'they weren't there.' Tracy would pout, and Rinoa would softly laugh. Rinoa leaned her head on her hand and watched Seifer as he animatedly interacted with Frank. He looked so happy, and so interested. She missed that face. She would try to get it out of him today.

After dinner, Seifer and Frank had 'man business' to take care of in the garage, which left Tracy and Rinoa together. Rinoa was doing the dishes, while Tracy rummaged in her purse. After retrieving whatever it was she was searching for, she motioned for Rinoa to follow her out to the porch.

Stepping out into the winter breeze made both Rinoa and Tracy gasp in their heels and exposed legs. Rinoa wrapped her arms around herself and shut the sliding door as Tracy stumbled before lighting a cigarette. She held the box out to Rinoa.

"No, thank you. I don't smoke." Rinoa said smiling. Tracy laughed a wine-colored laugh, and did not take back the box.

"Ya don't drink, ya don't smoke. What DO ya do? Seifer is out there puffin a cigar, taking shots of liquor, and you won't smoke a little cigarette? Ya can't always be super woman!" Tracy taunted, not knowing how much the comment hurt in her innebriated state. Rinoa felt angry, she felt...rebellious. She would show Tracy. She took a cigarette and lit it herself. She breathed in, and puffed out the air. This sent Tracy into hysterics.

"No, ya don't smoke like that! Ya gotta breath in your lungs, not your mouth!" Tracy demonstrated herself, and Rinoa tried to follow her example. Eventually, she inhaled right and coughed. Her eyes watered, but Tracy patted her back and Rinoa couldn't help but feel it was a friendly gesture. Tracy was just trying to have fun. When the cigarette was down to the filter, Tracy took it in between her two fingers and flicked it out into the snowy yard. Rinoa did not understand how to do this, but she wanted to try.

She took the cigarette between her fingers and tried to _throw _it. This landed at her feet and she held in a squeal at the fear of being burned. She used her heel to extinguish it and looked up at Tracy for approval. Tracy had a wink on her face.

"Ya know Rinoa, you looked pretty sexy doing that! Try that trick on Seifer!" Rinoa laughed again and the two girls went inside.

The two men followed in soon after the women, and Tracy greeted Frank with an intimate hug. He supported her tipsy body like a pillar. Seifer had a goofy, drunk smile on his face. He came to embrace Rinoa too. She breathed in deeply, enjoying the moment.

"You smell like cigars and liquor." She whispered against his chest, though not angrily. She looked up at him and his smile was still plastered on as he breathed in.

"You smell like...cigarettes?" He said, pushing her back for a moment and observing her. She gave him a guilty wink and enjoyed watching his jaw drop. This is where Tracy butted in.

"You should've seen it Seifer. She put it out, real sexy-like, with her heel. She's a real darling." Seifer smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"I demand to see this." Rinoa blushed and shook her head. He laughed and took her in his arms, spinning her before placing her softly on the ground. "C'mon Rin, you'll pull your sexy moves on Tracy, but you won't show me? Should I be concerned."

As they were saying goodbye to the couple, Tracy and Rinoa smoked another cigarette on the front porch, and Rinoa put it out just like she did in front of Tracy. Seifer let out a small, aroused growl and she felt it was worth the minor lung damage. Tracy hugged Seifer and Rinoa and then stumbled to the car. Frank and Seifer casually shook hands like men and said they'd see each other at work. Frank gave Rinoa a hug that was similar to being enveloped by a bear. When they left, Seifer gave Rinoa a coy smile, and picked her up, carrying her to the bedroom.

With dishes undone, sheets a wreck, she lay in the arms of her future husband completely content.

If every night ended like this, she wouldn't mind having constant company.


End file.
